How do you burn your bridges?!

I know I moan about it when people come on here and give a problem and ask for help, but they're always about boys and every teen magazine in the world deals with that. I have a very specific problem that spanned over 13 years and I genuinely want some advice on how to escape a figurative Shawshank.

Dear Auntie Listal,

I have a "friend" in my life that I need to cut out like a gangrenous sore, she infects everything she touches, a blight on the species and a thorn in my side!

She has bought more drama to my door step with various eating disorders and domestic disturbances than an episode of Eastenders!

She happened to move in next door to me when I was 10, at an impressionable age, we made friends. However as I grew in height, I also grew in IQ, she however remained stagnant at about age 14. She has a ridiculously short temper and is vain, she lies all the time, gets herself into trouble but refuses to listen to the advice of others.

The only problem is, her family are on the mental side and think of me as a second daughter, the mum cries when I go on holiday! I have successfully avoided contact with any of them for a month now, but pressure is building up, I've got a thousand missed calls and letters have been posted through my door 'Where are you Gem?', 'Haven’t seen you in ages Gem'. They live next door and I don’t have the money to move away yet! What the hell can I do?!?

oh man, thats a tough one. gonna have to think about it for a bit. first instinct is to rob a store and then use the money to move, but let me get back to you on whether it really is best solution.

You want to know how I burn my bridges. Being brutally honest to them usually works for me. I've tossed aside many a friend doing that. They weren't happy, but I was.

GA, I agree, not a days goes by I dont pray I was in London, she doesnt got to London because it scares her! Im talking about in the mean time, unless I pack my stuff into a cloth, hang it on a stick, and go to seek my fortune. I'd be a Soho whore before the week was out, but even that sounds better than only slivering in and out of my house under cover of darkness.

Blunt harshness was a consideration of mine tbh SK, but they are all mad and are notorious for turing a weapon on their own family members at the drop of a hat.

How about a subtle fade away, such that interactions bwtn you two become further and further apart. Sounds like going cold turkey on her is a bad idea. This way you let her down easy but you're still friends in her eyes, only growing more and more distant.

That's a good idea escafeld but crazy people don't work on logic. You have to outcrazy them. You've got to be atleast ten times as unreasonable as they are. I aint even joking. I've dealt with so-called crazy neighbors and my sister is also a schizo, so I do have some experience in this, I'm sad to admit. It may or may not work. Everyone's different, and I don't know if you want to go that far.

I like that idea Escafeld! I will have to adapt it though, whenever I speak about something thats not shoes she says 'shut-up Gem, you're boring me'..I think I havnt put across how stupid she is.

She didn't know what a Skunk was, so I showed her a picture of a skunk, told her it was a black and white animal that released a horrible smell when threatened...she still didnt understand. I just said,

"dont worry all you need to know is that there is an animal called a skunk"
"I dont know though do I?"
"What dont you know?"
"I dont know about no skunk"
"Im not implicating you in a bloody crime that a skunk commited!. A skunk is a small animal, just like an elephant is a big animal"
"Nah, I dont get it"
"Well.."
"Ah forget it, if it aint a cat I dont need to know about it"

Word for word

Someone is agreeing with me so my plan can't be that bad an idea. You're gonna have to bite the bullet Gem. It's easy for me since It's almost compulsory for me to point out people's flaws or how stupid that idea of theirs is, without thinking of the consequences.

I love escafeld's idea, but stick to just one topic only.

Start going on about your thesis - every single time you talk to her, go on and on and on passionately about your thesis, even if she says "shut up, you're boring me". tell her "sorry, its ALL i can think about .." and then go on about the thesis again.

If she starts talking about something completely unrelated to change topic, say "oh that reminds of this one part of my thesis..." and run with it again.

make HER ignore you. make HER be the one who ends the friendship. lol


p.s. i'm a master at breaking up with women and making them think they initiated the break-up lol that way, i'm never the bad guy.

Many years ago, I once burned a bridge entirely by emailing 'a' person a list of things they said and did that pissed me and my cohorts off. Afterward, I thought it was very immature and regretted it for sometime but it was something that needed to be done.

There are people out there that just use you for what they can get from you. That person in particular was a weasley wretch who was just after the girls I hung around with. We had some fun times mind but deep down he was always thinking of himself and granted there was a very fragile situation at the time, the email was the only thing that could have resolved getting rid of him.

Your situation is different GemLil but as its already been said you can either ignore or 'blast' them with the truth. I don't think your pal could comprehend electronic mail though!

hmmmmmm sounds like one sitch i had to get out of before try this sell ur place and then get with a close friend who lives millions of miles away and get an apartment with that friend change ur cell number everything don't let ur # be available in the phone book either and whatever u do do write a letter saying u moved(i did it horrible and rookie mistake) and u'll be home free either that or fake ur own death *shrugs* wichever works for you ^_^

sorry miss spell whatever u do don't write a letter saying u moved

I used high octane diesel fuel.
Though, for those big bridges made out of iron & steel, I'd suggest jet-liner fuel.
And a sack lunch.
Cuz melting thru all that metal will be all day job.
At least....!

I wouldnt know what to do in that situation but I think being honest with her and telling her that you guys shouldnt be friends anymore simply because it isnt good for you...