Funny Quotes - TV lines that make you laugh.

lol @ chibiyusa

Special K is slang for Ketamine, popular in some clubs over here. Its also a brand of plain grain cereal.

It is either German or some wierd rarely used language...... I don't remember...

Daily Show and Colbert Report have classic lines.

"How dare China send us all these lead toys. I mean, not every kid in America deserves to be poisoned!"

Lolz, so true Prelude, but most of us do(Basically, teenagers in general)

*sigh*
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gpjk_MaCGM

Chibi I love that sketch..especially Hitlers attempt at reply 'two peanunts were walking down the street..and one was a-salted....peanut'. Its one of my fav Python sketches probably after 'Upper Class Twit of the Year'.

I like these ones from 'Peep Show'

:Crunchy nut cornflakes are just frosties for wankers.
:Frosties are just Cornflakes for people who can face reality.

and

;I still think we should serve at least one beer, people like beer
;People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis, you cant trust people Jeremy.

P.S we have Special K in england; just not a Ketamin problem...coke, meth and heroine though..forget about it. Also some people have started sniffing cat urine, they call it 'cheesing'

GA, the BBC 'The Office' is brilliant. Love that scene in particular. :) Do you watch the US version? I was scared they would fuck that series up, but its quite different than the british one and just as brilliant. Steve Carrel is a genius comic.

Here's a clip from a recent episode:

(everyone had to give notes to the boss, with a girl's phone number, so the boss can get back into dating scene)

Michael: Okay. Wendy. "Hot and juicy redhead." I'll give this a try. [dials number]
Woman: Wendy.
Michael: Hello, Wendy. This is Kevin's friend, Michael.
Woman: This.. isn't Wendy.
Michael: Oh I'm sorry could you put her on please.
Woman: Dude, this is a Wendy's resturant.
Michael: Okay.. Okay...... Could I just have a Frosty and a baked potato please.
Woman: You have to come to the restaurant to order food.
Michael: Well I'll send somebody to pick it up. Just have it ready.
Woman: It's ready now.
Michael: Well put it aside. [hangs up phone quickly]

or in same episode, he goes over to Oscar, the gay guy in the office:

"Hello Oscar Meyer Wiener-lover. I bet, that you have a bunch of very liberal girl-type friends, who trust you implicitly, because they know you'd never touch them given your condition."

A few from my favorite cancelled how, Futurama :
"This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me!"
"My life, and by extension everyone else's is meaningless."
"Oh wait, you're serious. Let me laugh even harder."
"I hate the people that love me and they hate me."

"I hate the people that love me and they hate me."

i dont get it.

husband:hunny im home
wife:yes(hidding next door neghbour in closet)
husband:(enters bedroom opens curtins)
wife:what are you home erly for?
husband:ive just been premoted and that gimp next doors been
fired for not turning up for work.apparently hes sleeping with his neghbours wife
neighbour:what fired?!!
husband:(yes and your dumped)
wife:yes i want a divorce(to neghbour) i need support from a man with money
(hugs husband)
husband:i want a divorce and your nicked for biggamy
(later on)sue i love you im glad to be rid of her

Dean Winchester From Supernatural :
" I won't die there were nurses are not even hot "
and in "Bedtime stories" he told his brother Sam Winchester when they saw a frog "There's no way I'm kissing that frog"

One that made me LOL recently was from Buffy:

Xander: What he lacks in smarts he makes up for in lack of smarts.
Willow: You're just angry because of that one time he beat you up every day for five years.

Oh and there's one more :
also by Dean Winchester when a female vampire forces him to a kiss :
"Sorry, never stayed with a chick that long. Definitely not eternity"

Ship's log... erm... one. I've decided to keep a journal of life on board ship, and send it off in a probe. Since turning 28 I feel a new maturity about myself - in fact I can't even remember the last time I tried to urinate on Rimmer from the top of D-deck - no, wait a minute... Friday. But apart from that *one lapse*, maturity-wise I'm practically up there with Abe Lincoln and Moses. Now, just recently we came across a craft, piloted by ourselves from 15 years into the future. We had a bit of an argument, and they attacked us.
/.../
We were no match; they killed us, and destroyed everything on board ship - including the Time Drive, which meant there was no Time Drive for them to have in the future, to bring back into the past, [to] destroy the future of their past selves in the present. Put simply: by killing us they killed themselves, because once we were dead it was impossible for us to become them in the future, and return in time to kill ourselves in the past, even though it was the present.

Phoebe: "Why are you all red and sweaty?"
Ross: "I just bamboozled Chandler!"

Barney Stinson- "I don't get smitten, I smite. True story." :P

"These pretzels are making me thirsty!" - Many cast members in Seinfeld

Blackadder to Percy: "You ride a horse rather less well than another horse would."

Lt. George: If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do ?
Capt. Blackadder: Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area.

Pvt. Bob: "I wanted to see a war run so badly."
Capt. Blackadder: "Well you've come to the right place, then. There hasn't been a war run this badly since Olaf the hairy, King of all the vikings, ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside."

Basil Fawlty: Ah, yes Mr O'Reilly, well it's perfectly simple. When I asked you to build me a wall I was rather hoping that instead of just dumping the bricks in a pile you might have found time to cement them together... you know, one on top of another, in the traditional fashion.

Basil Fawlty: Do you remember when we were first manacled together? We used to laugh quite a lot.
Sybil Fawlty: Yes, but not at the same time, Basil.

Basil Fawlty: Is something wrong?
German Guest: Will you please stop talking about the war?
Basil Fawlty: Me? You started it.
German Guest: We did not!
Basil Fawlty: Yes, you did, you invaded Poland.

(Big fan of Britcoms like Blackadder, Fawlty Towers, etc. here!)