First Impressions

Hi, guys.

Well, I'm just an ordinary film buff and a regular Flixster user. But I feel kind of guilty that I haven't posted any film reviews for such a long time.
The main reason for this is that I was only posting reviews for movies I didn't like. The movies I did like, I'd end up buying on DVD anyway, so my idea was to save all the positive reviews for when I run through my whole collection. But only posting negative reviews was really starting to make me sound like a grouch.
I also realised it probably wasn't a good idea to write reviews after only seeing a movie once.
So what I've decided to do is start this forum where, when I see a movie for the first time, I post a comment briefly outlining my initial impressions. If I see the movie again at some point further down the road, I'll post a full review and go into greater detail.

Yeah, I know: this isn't really a forum; it's more of a personal film blog. Still, I invite you all to join me in discussion. Do you agree or disagree with my initial views? Can you shed some light on a mindset I should perhaps put myself in on a repeat viewing? Do I just not get the movie? Let's find out. But no trolling, please! :)

I'm going to kick it off with the first two Austin Powers movies, which I just saw today.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery… I don't know what to make of it. I have no animosity whatsoever towards the script; many of the gags did make me laugh, some more than others. But what constantly drags the movie down is Mike Myers' performance as Austin Powers. I typically don't like low-brow humour, so it's either going to come off to me as really funny or really annoying. This guy is mostly just really annoying. Though, to be fair, I realise the whole point of the movie is that he doesn't fit in, so the joke's on me. But like I said, this is just my first impression. Maybe a second viewing will convince me that the funny moments trump the annoying ones.
My rating: 55%.

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, on the other hand, is funny as hell. The premise is more interesting, there's not nearly as much annoying low-brow humour, and I especially like how it pokes fun at plot holes in time travel concepts. True, it recycles many of the same gags from the original, but the way they build on them all makes them, if anything, even funnier this time around. The characters are great, particularly Mini-Me, who steals every single scene he's in. Everything in this film works, and in my opinion it blows the original out of the water. But, judging from its IMDb rating, it looks like I'm in a minority on that.
My rating: 80%.

And now I've finished off the trilogy with Austin Powers in Goldmember. Well, it begins with a brilliant satire of the damage that studio intervention can do, but then it quickly goes downhill. I liked the recycled gags in the second movie, but now they're just tedious. Even Mini-Me is nowhere near as fresh this time around. Still, it does have quite a few good gags of its own, not to mention a great supporting cast. Plus, of course, there's Beyoncé. I don't care if she doesn't pull off the secret agent bit; she's still hot as hell! To sum it up, it's definitely the weakest of the series, but it still delivers the goods.
My rating: 50%.

Agreed on the third one. It had its moments, but running gags are good for standup routines. It's lazy to abuse it in a movie instead of writing new material.

I need to hit the used section and pick these up, I've been meaning to for a while.

Ben-Hur (1959)

Well, I saw Ben-Hur yesterday. And this could potentially become one of my new all-time favourites! It has a hero seeking revenge, an epic journey (and scale), some genuinely shocking moments, a sea battle, a chariot race – it has everything in it. Yeah, the acting is overly melodramatic, but that's only to be expected. I especially love how Jesus is portrayed: you never see his face, and it's truly remarkable how well they succeed in making him seem truly otherworldly and divine. The production design is brilliant, and the action scenes are shot flawlessly. What else can I say? It is indeed an absolute classic.
My rating: 95% for now, but it could easily earn a full 100 in the future.

Fantasia (1940)

I saw Disney's Fantasia today. I don't think I'm breaking news to anyone when I say it's a very different kind of movie for them: simply putting animated images over classical music, thus creating visual poetry. And now I'm one more of the many people who just love it for that. The animation is of course flawless, and I especially love how distinct each of the seven sections are from each other, from Toccata and Fugue to The Sorcerer's Apprentice to Dance of the Hours to the ending with Night on Bald Mountain and Ave Maria. It just goes to show the power of music over the mind, and it's by far one of Disney's finest.
As for my rating… I'm still trying to decide whether it deserves 95% or a full 100.

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trapped in Chernobyl creator of "Paranormal Activity", Oren Peli, comes "Trapped in Chernobyl (Chernobyl diaries)", a horror film that follows a group of six young people who vacation in search of adventure, you hire a guide "extreme." Ignoring warnings, leads them to the town of Pripyat, where workers lived nuclear reactor, but is now a deserted city since the disaster, more than 25 years. However, after a brief exploration of the abandoned city, members of the group are in trouble and they discover they are not alone.

"MS1: Maximum security" takes place in an experimental prison in space, where they are locked up the 500 most dangerous criminals on Earth, which are kept in a permanent state of artificially induced lethargy. The daughter of the president of the United States, Emilie Warnock, leading a humanitarian mission arrives aboard the space station that is in prison just as a riot erupts unprecedented violence. Emilie and crew of the MS1 just turned into hostages of prisoners. Warnock President Snow decides to send the agent to the MS1 with the sole mission of saving Emilie, and no one else ...

Saludos Amigos (1942), The Three Caballeros (1944) + Make Mine Music (1946)

I'm having myself a massive Disney marathon at the moment, going through all fifty-one of their animated motion pictures in chronological order. Today I saw three more for the first time.

First, Saludos Amigos. Throughout the 1940s, Disney's canon consisted of episodic pastiches rather than three-act stories, starting with this one. The premise is a few of the Disney animators touring Latin America to get inspiration for their cartoons. And that's it. It's basically a holiday video with cartoons thrown in to match. At only forty minutes, it barely even qualifies as feature-length. Some of the animated segments are enjoyable, like Lake Titicaca and especially Brazil. But on the whole, I really don't know if I'd recommend this one. It's really more for education than entertainment, and some parts are more interesting than others.
My rating: 55%.

Second, The Three Caballeros – which, at the end, had me wondering, "What the hell did I just see?" The premise (if you can even call it that) is Donald Duck opening some presents, and each one is a presentation on Latin America. It starts off with two short stories. Then José Carioca (the green parrot) shows up. Then Panchito the rooster comes to show them around Mexico. And from that point on, it's literally like the animators just got high! This really deserves to be watched one segment at a time, not all at once. Each section has its own merits, and the animation is consistently good thoughout, but watching them all together, it suddenly becomes boring. Overall, I can't say I recommend the whole movie.
My rating: 50%.

And third, Make Mine Music. This one's a compilation of musical vignettes. But instead of classical music like Fantasia, it's more like music that was popular at the time. Naturally, some segments are better than others. Some of my personal favourites include the jazz interlude with All the Cats Join In, After You've Gone with the Goodman quartet, but by far my favourite is the last one, The Whale Who Wanted to Sing at the Met. Also, if you've seen Disney's Peter and the Wolf, it comes from this movie as well. All the shorts have also been released separately, but they actually flow together quite well in this original package. This is one I definitely recommend.
My rating: 70%.

Fun and Fancy Free (1947) + Melody Time (1948)

Today I saw the last two of Disney's 1940s collage pieces that I hadn't seen before.

First up is Fun and Fancy Free. And man, what an appropriate title! This is one of the gayest movies I've ever seen! For much of it, there's hardly any conflict at all; everything's just fine and dandy. It begins with a jolly song introduction that really sets the tone for everything to follow. The first of its two individual stories, Bongo, is cuteness to the nth degree. But the highlight, for me, is the second story, which is a pretty creative retelling of Jack and the Beanstalk. I've read that light-hearted fluff like this was just what audiences needed after World War II. But today, I don't know if I'd recommend it to anyone except very young children.
My rating: 50%.

And secondly, Melody Time. Another collage of musical vignettes like Make Mine Music. In fact, the two movies seem very similar in approach and presentation. But Melody Time has fewer episodes, and they aren't really as memorable as the ones in Make Mine Music. They range from the typical kids' fluff of Little Toot to the really nice visual poetry of Trees. Not much to say about this one except that, obviously, some sections are better than others. Most of them are good in their own ways, but none of them are as good as Make Mine Music. But on the whole, this is another one I'd recommend.
My rating: 65%.

After this, I won't have any more first impressions entries for the Disney movies until (appropriately enough!) Fantasia 2000. But I rented two of this year's movies today, so my impressions of those two will be coming tomorrow.

Gone + Project X (2012)

So I rented two movies yesterday, both released this year.

The first is Gone with Amanda Seyfried. Well, anyone expecting a high-octane action fest, like I was, is going to be disappointed. Instead, it's a pretty grim story about a girl who thinks the man who kidnapped and tormented her in the past has returned when her sister disappears. Also, it's a bit difficult for a movie to hold tension when it's established early on that the main character is a total nutcase; that just makes it all the more likely that she's imagining all this. And the ending is just one enormous, "So what?" For what it's worth, everything except for the acting really nails the grim, sombre tone, but that just makes it all the more depressing to sit through. It's not really bad: just kind of meh.
My rating: 45%.

And the second is Project X. I'm not entirely sure what to say about this one, 'cos it doesn't really have a plot to speak of. It's just a POV camera movie "documenting" a high-school birthday party that's spiralling further and further out of control. So you either care about it and want to join in that party or you don't. In my case, it was kind of interesting watching the party descend into anarchy. But for the most part, this movie's just kind of unremarkable. It's just teenagers being rowdy. It's not the kind of crowd I'd hang with, and the only dilemma in the movie basically amounts to a clichéd love story. Overall, not bad, but nothing special.
My rating: 55%.

Lawless (2012)

I went to see Lawless today. And my first impression is: it's not bad. It's beautifully filmed – there's no denying that. And you do get enough of a sense of what an anarchistic, violent time it was. I've heard people complain that it doesn't handle its narrative well, but I think it works well enough as a simple revenge story. It does come across as very cinematic, though, so it makes me wonder how close it is to the true story. But the major, major problem with this movie is Shia LaBoeuf. He's such a charisma vacuum that he really does drag the whole movie down – especially since he's the star in every sense of the word. But at least everyone aside from him gives a solid performance, even if I do feel that Guy Pearce is also slightly miscast. Overall, pretty good, but definitely could have used a more charismatic leading man.
My rating: I'm torn between 65% or 70%.

Damsels in Distress + The Raven (2012)

Two more rentals this week.

The first is Damsels in Distress, a comedy written and directed by Whit Stillman. I was a tad worried when I read the plot summary, 'cos I thought it was going to be purely a women's movie and I'd feel like a sissy for watching it. But instead, the main group of characters are treated as just that: characters rather than just girls. And they're seeking to help depressed people throughout their college, which I'm sure a lot of us can get behind. As a comedy, it's not that funny at all, but it works in a different sort of way: it confronts and tackles life issues in an interesting manner. The movie as a whole does seem to meander quite a bit, though; it doesn't seem all that focused. Overall, I think it's okay. It's not quite as thought-provoking or engaging as it wants to be, but I think it still works.
My rating: 60%.

And the second is The Raven. The trailer got me genuinely hyped to see this, and the premise really intrigued me. And this is why I don't trust trailers! This was one of the most underwhelming movies of the year so far! One major continuous problem is how laughably bad the acting is across the board. That hinders my enjoyment of any movie, and it's probably what makes the murder mystery itself seem so generic. It also makes the romance lacklustre, so I never once felt like anything was at stake. Also, in the Pit and the Pendulum-style murder early on, the violence is shown explicitly, and it looks so cartoonish that it's just unintentionally hilarious. The ending is complete bullshit, too. And that's the film in a nutshell: it's not thrilling, and it's certainly not scary. I've heard people say it's a stain on Edgar Allan Poe's legacy; I'll take their word for it.
My rating: 40%.

Total Recall (1990)

Well, I'm taking a little break from that Disney marathon to watch three particular movies for which this year is producing either remakes or sequels.

The first is Total Recall (1990), which I just got done watching. And… I thought it was really, really good! In terms of action and science-fiction, it does everything right: it's intelligent, and the action is used to punctuate key points in the story, which is what makes it so intense and thrilling. That's why the older action movies are infinitely superior to the mind-numbing junk food we have today. Also, this is one of those movies that feels long in a good way; it's only 108 minutes, but so much happens, and each scene feels so complete, that you'd swear it was closer to two-and-a-half hours. Anyway, you love the movie, I do too.
My rating: 90%.

ParaNorman (2012)

I went to see ParaNorman today. Everyone's saying it's one of the best movies of the year so far… and they're not kidding! It's not only that, but also one of the best kids' movies I've seen in quite a while. It's a parody of horror movies, especially zombie flicks, and a really damn good one. Kids might find it a tad scary, but it's the good kind of scary that you can laugh about at the same time. Plus, when it's straight-up funny, it's hilarious. Surprisingly emotional, too. In short, a kids' movie done very, very right. It's also a breath of fresh air to see an animated movie that's not CG, and the stop-motion is astonishingly seamless. I probably would have enjoyed it a great deal more, though, if it hadn't been for a group of kids across the aisle who just would not shut up! Anyway, I highly, highly recommend this one.
My rating: 85%.

To Boldly Flee (2012)

A couple of nights ago, I was up all night watching To Boldly Flee (the ThatGuyWithTheGlasses fourth year anniversary movie) from start to finish. I wasn't sure whether or not I should make a first impression comment, since I'm not sure it really counts as a motion picture. Well, I might as well.
I loved it, but it didn't instantly wow me like last year's Suburban Knights did. It's just… a little too complicated. This movie is the Nostalgia Critic's swan song, his big farewell. That alone could have filled an entire movie. But instead, it's mixed in with like two dozen other wrestling plot points.
But for what it's worth, there were many moments that got a big laugh from me, and I love the way the main plot combines both Star Trek and Star Wars. There's one particular moment that made me go, "AWESOMMMMME!!!!!!!" But my favourite aspect was the bickering between Zodd and Turrell (as they're credited, presumably for copyright reasons): it killed me every single time they were on screen together!
So I really look forward to seeing it again.
My rating: 85%.

Judge Dredd (1995) + Taken (2008)

Well, I mentioned that there were three movies I wanted to see that are getting either remakes or sequels this year. Total Recall was the first, and today I saw the other two.

One was Judge Dredd. I'm not entirely sure why so much hate gets thrown at this movie. I never read the comics, so I'm guessing part of the problem is that it doesn't follow them at all well. But as an action movie, it's a blast. The world it creates is fascinating, and it has all the over-the-top action set pieces and corny one-liners that you'd expect. Basically, it's aware that it's just an action movie, and it loves every minute of it. In fact, had it not been for the universally terrible acting, I might have ranked this up as one of the best action movies I've ever seen. I'm curious to see the new Dredd movie and see if they succeed in adapting the premise into something you can take somewhat seriously. But in the meantime, I'm going to have as much fun with this movie as it does with itself.
My rating: 75%.

And Taken (with Liam Neeson) was third and final. It's basically just an action movie that tackles grisly real-life issues. Human trafficking is very much for real, so I can understand why people might take issue with this movie, either because we watch movies to get away from the horrors of real life, or because turning them into a silly action movie might be a little improper. But personally, I don't see the harm in making a movie about a hero overcoming those problems; it's kind of therapeutic that way. Other than that, there's nothing really remarkable about the movie, though. But as an action movie, it delivers the goods. It's a fun thrill ride with some real kick-ass moments.
My rating: 75%.

Boston Strangler: The Untold Story (2008)

Just saw Boston Strangler: The Untold Story. I bought it in HMV, mistaking it for the 1968 film The Boston Strangler. Alas, this is a direct-to-DVD offering that claims to reveal the true identity of the infamous serial killer. I don't know the true story of the Boston Strangler murders, but regardless I'd be very afraid whenever a movie makes a claim like that.
Anyway, as a movie, it's just as unimpressive as you'd probably expect a direct-to-DVD movie to be. The first act seems like it's told out of order, so I was really confused about the sequence of events. The constant political corruption got annoying pretty quickly, because it came across to me like in-your-face preaching. But perhaps the movie's biggest sin, something that can't be emphasised enough, is how downright boring it is.
So it's a disappointment both as a Boston Strangler movie and a crime movie in general.
My rating: 30%.

Fantasia 2000 (1999)

And so we come to the long-delayed sequel to one of Disney's ultimate masterpieces. This is something Disney wanted to do ever since the first Fantasia. When it finally happened… the end result was a bit of a disappointment. It follows the same format: individual animated segments set out to classical music. But here, none of the segments match the soaring high standards set by the original – though two of them, Pines of Rome and Firebird Suite, come close. Most of the other segments are just too cutesy; they just don't feel like Fantasia. Not to mention, the celebrity interludes are just painful to watch – again, with two exceptions: Angela Lansbury and James Earl Jones. Overall, whereas the original Fantasia was dignified and mature, this one feels more juvenile and manipulative.
My rating: 60%.

A Dangerous Method (2011)

Just saw A Dangerous Method. This is kind of a hard movie to talk about. For one thing, I have a tough time reviewing simple dramas anyway. But also, because this is a movie about doctors' disputing beliefs, the only way to really talk about it is to treat it like you're a doctor yourself and it's your patient, analyse it and see what you take from it. And that, I'm not gonna do! I will say, though, that it was a good idea to see what we make of Freud's theories today. I obviously don't know how historically accurate this movie is, but both parties in the film at least get you thinking. The pacing is a little confusing at times, but on the whole, this is a pretty good movie that I look forward to seeing a few more times and fully taking in.
My rating: 70%.

Battleship + Wanderlust (2012)

Well, I watched this week's pair of rentals today. Circumstances forced me to rent them on Saturday instead of the usual Tuesday.

First is Battleship. This is right up there with This Means War as one of the worst movies I've seen so far this year! First of all, I don't recall the board game having anything to do with aliens! And secondly (and I can't emphasise this enough), actually trying to imitate Michael Bay has got to be a new cinematic low!
Still, at least this movie actually has a plot and sticks to it, which is more than you can say for Michael Bay himself! It seems like a War of the Worlds rip-off at first, but the goal here is to prevent the war from happening in the first place. That's actually not bad.
The first two thirds are straight-up boring, but the last act made me realise this could have been enjoyed as a simple dumb blockbuster – if it weren't trying to be a Michael Bay imitator. (Seriously, man, that's sad!)
Bottom line: it's still a terrible movie, but I'll take this over a Michael Bay movie any day!
My rating: 20%.

And the second is Wanderlust, a comedy starring Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston. Much like Project X, this is another movie that I'd probably just place in the "meh" category. The premise is that they're a downtrodden couple who come across a group of hippies and decide their best option is to join them. If that sounds appealing to you, maybe you'll enjoy it. Myself, it only made me laugh sparingly, and the ending just came off to me as a cliché. I do kind of like, though, how George is originally the one who's all for joining the hippies, but Linda's the one who really warms to their ways. Anyway, overall, just a mediocre movie.
My rating: 50%.

Piranha 3DD + Lockout (2012)

Well, I watched this week's two rentals today. Again, I was unable to rent them on the usual Tuesday. On both Tuesday and Wednesday this week, I was doing extras work on a TV show called Moone Boy, which apparently is a big hit here in Ireland.

Rental 1: Piranha DD (as it was retitled on DVD). Well, this one wasn't as bad as I thought it would be; it was more or less what I should have expected. The CGI is just as bad as its predecessor, but it doesn't have the same sense of dark humour; it's basically a soulless, stagnant repeat.
The nicest thing I can say about it is that at least it is actually a sequel. There's no mention of the parent piranhas, but at least it has more connection to the original than a simple throwaway reference, unlike some sequels I could name.
Bottom line: it's a typical creature feature, so you can't expect too much, but at least its predecessor had something of an identity. This one does get noticeably silly at times, but it's mostly just kind of a bore.
My rating: 30%.

Rental 2: Lockout. I gathered from the trailer that it was basically Escape from New York in space. I haven't seen Escape from New York yet, but it has to be better than this at any rate! Lockout isn't bad, but it's not really anything special.
None of the characters are set up that well, and the opening is so rushed that I could barely keep up with what was going on; I had to pause the movie at one point just so I could take in everything so far! Plus there's a blatant Star Wars rip-off in the finale, and a couple of glaring lapses in logic that really had me scratching my head, especially the idea of falling in space.
Still, it is entertaining enough; it rolls with its premise fine.
Also, after being so terribly miscast in both Prometheus and Lawless, it's nice to see a Guy Pearce appearance this year that I can't really criticise!
Overall, it's not bad, but my rating's just barely leaning towards the positive side.
My rating: 55%.

Hope Springs + Savages (2012)

I went to see two movies yesterday. I've got a cold, so I just didn't have the energy to comment on them when I got home last night. Anyway, here are my reviews now.

The first was Hope Springs. My only interest in seeing this one was Meryl Streep. The premise is a middle-aged couple going to a marriage counsellor to try and get their marriage back on track, so I was afraid I'd be far too young to appreciate this movie. And guess what: I was right. All I can say is, if you're that sort of age, and especially if you're experiencing rough times in your marriage yourself, this movie is for you. It's good for what it is, I guess; I could just never get into it.
My rating: 55%.

And the second was Savages. And man, what a bore it was! Of all the movies I've seen this year, I think this is the one where I cared the least what was going on. One reason is that a lot of the dialogue just went in one ear and out the other, so I didn't really understand anyone's motivation. But on top of that, I simply didn't sympathise with the characters, which made the whole movie so hollow that even the violence was underwhelming. The rest is down to terrible jokes and one of the most infuriating twist endings I've ever seen. Overall, it's not one of the top five worst movies of the year or anything, but (along with Act of Valour) I think I can safely say that it's the most boring.
My rating: 35%.

Treasure Planet (2002) + Brother Bear (2003)

I'm back to the Disney marathon now. I only have a few left. And, of the three I saw today, here are my impressions of the two I was seeing for the first time.

First up, Treasure Planet. Yeah, Treasure Island in space! Now, I'm not the biggest fan of Treasure Island to begin with, and in this case, even putting a sci-fi spin on it doesn't help much.
If you can get into the world this movie sets up, it's actually a very good adventure story. For me personally, even though I really like some of the characters, I could just never buy the world itself. The way I see it, you should either tell the straight-up story of Treasure Island or go all the way with converting it to sci-fi; don't try to meet halfway.
But like I said, you do get to like a lot of the characters, and once the story gets going, it is very well written and does lead to some pretty exciting moments.
Overall, I'd say this is on par with Atlantis: The Lost Empire: a flawed but fun adventure.
My rating: 55%.

And secondly, Brother Bear. This movie really frustrates me in how right it gets some things and how wrong it gets so many others.
The beginning is brilliant, with endearing characters, believable drama and a culture you can easily become absorbed in.
But after the main character gets turned into a bear, everything plummets downhill. The dialogue is painfully modern, and the morals are confused as well as lame.
By way of an example, I'll give you the two extremities of the movie – without spoiling anything. A character dies pretty early on, and I was genuinely torn up about it. By contrast, at the end of the second act, they put a song in the absolute worst place imaginable.
So the first act is terrific, but the rest can suck it. I mean, talk about being so close and yet so far!
My rating: 45%.

Home on the Range (2004), Chicken Little (2005) + Meet the Robinsons (2007)

Well, I got through three more Disney animated features today.

First, Home on the Range. Disney's 2D animation studio was shut down for a while after this, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was exactly because of this movie! This is so unlike the Disney you'd expect that it actually goes beyond belief! It's definitely geared almost exclusively to preschool kids. It tries to throw in some jokes to keep the parents satisfied as well, but they just aren't funny. Honestly, this wouldn't be out of place alongside Barney the Dinosaur!
The only good thing I can say about it is when the villain first bursts into song, you're so taken aback that it's actually kind of funny.
Still, on the whole, it's not absolutely detestable, but this is undoubtedly the worst of all the 2D Disney features by far. Unless you're about four years old or less, I'd say this is a definite skip.
My rating: 20%.

Second, Chicken Little. The first CG-animated movie in the Disney theatrical line-up. This one just completely floored me, leaving me wondering, "What the hell did I just see?!"
First of all, none of the jokes are funny, it gets pretty grim for a kids' movie at times, and I'm honestly against the idea of animals having a human-like world like this.
But what really made my jaw drop is the direction the story ends up taking. Aliens?! Fucking aliens?! I don't know what I expected of a movie called Chicken Little, but it certainly didn't involve fucking aliens!
I don't know what else to say. Just… wow is this one bad! The twists on the original story are nice, but it all boils down to one of the most ridiculous movies I've ever seen. It's another one that screams of nothing but little kids in mind.
My rating: 20%.

And third, Meet the Robinsons. This one was really, really damn good! I was surprised. After sitting through Disney's two absolute worst earlier today, you could say this was my reward!
I'm a sucker for time travel movies, and this one has one of the best spins on the concept that I could possibly have asked for. But to reveal exactly why would mean spoiling the ending.
Let's just say the first fifteen minutes got me really excited with the promise of where the story was going, then it kind of sagged a little when it seemed like it was just throwing as much weirdness as possible at us, and then the second half accelerated to a brilliant climax.
It may seem like a weird thing for Disney to release, but it's definitely my kind of movie! You can colour me a fan of this one.
My rating: 85%.

Bolt (2008)

All right, this'll be my last "first impressions" comment from the Disney marathon, because… well, this is the last one that's new to me. There are only three to go after this – The Princess and the Frog, Tangled and Winnie the Pooh – and I've seen them all before.
Anyway, here are my comments on Bolt.
Well, this one defied my expectations twice in the first half-hour! It begins with an excessive action sequence, making you think the dog's a secret agent. But then it turns out it was just a movie being shot, but the dog thinks it's all real. That's a brilliant idea! But it becomes an ongoing gimmick that lasts for the first half of the movie, and it does get kind of annoying.
The movie does have a number of good jokes and impressive action scenes, but I probably would have enjoyed it a lot more if the second half's emotional content had been just a bit more potent.
One thing I have to say: the animation is just frigging fantastic – almost as good as Pixar.
Overall, this one's pretty good. Very clever and highly entertaining, but it does fall a bit flat emotionally.
My rating: 65%.

nice.

The Cold Light of Day + The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Two more rentals this week.

Number one: The Cold Light of Day. And man is this a lame one! I haven't come across an action thriller so bland and uninteresting in quite a while now.
Most of the movie is pretty much just one chase sequence after another, and whenever it does stop to explain the story, it's so clichéd and confusing that it's impossible to care about, which means the action falls completely flat.
Not to mention, the action itself looks really amateurish at times. The fight following the first chase scene doesn't pack any punch whatsoever.
Plus Sigourney Weaver looks like she really doesn't want to be there.
Other than that, there's not really much to say about this one. It's just uninspired and unremarkable.
My rating: 30%.

And number two: The Cabin in the Woods. Of course I was sure I was going to like this one, but wow did I underestimate it! This has to be one of the best horror movies of maybe the past decade.
It's a pitch-perfect satire of slasher movie clichés and traditions, because it comes up with a story that actually accommodates them.
And all the characters are genuinely likable; none of them are idiots. In fact, one of my favourite scenes is when one of them demonstrates that he's not even a creep.
Now, unfortunately, to talk about it too much would mean spoiling a good chunk of the story. But I will say, if you like horror movies at all, then you can't skip this one. I think it's simply fantastic. Hands down, one of the best movies of the year so far – top five easily.
My rating: 85%.

The Dictator + How I Spent My Summer Vacation (2012)

Time for this week's pair of rentals. :)

Number one: The Dictator. Now, I was a tad sceptical about this one because of the Sacha Baron Cohen formula. I fucking *hate* Borat, and I haven't seen Brüno but I have reason to believe it's even worse. But The Dictator… I'm surprised! This one was actually kind of funny! True, it has several moments that are just downright uncomfortable – and not in a funny way like I'm sure they were intended – but a lot of the rest did make me laugh. Maybe it's because it has a definitive story as opposed to just being a series of awkward encounters. Or maybe it's because the main character being an authority figure gives it more of an edge. In any case, it does have its moments, though maybe not quite enough of them. But it was a hell of a lot better than Borat.
My rating: 55%.

And number two: How I Spent My Summer Vacation (known in the US as Get the Gringo). We all know that Mel Gibson's not the most popular guy in the world right now, but he still has plenty of charm on screen. I just love his character's first few minutes of screen time. It's just a shame the rest of the movie doesn't quite live up to that.
The premise is basically an American citizen trying to survive in a Mexican prison. That alone could have filled an entire movie. But instead, the plot gets so needlessly complicated with a web of conspiracy involving the money our hero stole. By the end, I neither knew nor cared what was going on.
So, like The Dictator, my rating for this one would be, to quote Roger Ebert, a close call but a marginal thumbs-down.
My rating: 55%.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower + Looper (2012)

All right. I just got home from a week-long trip to England. And I have quite a few first impressions for you! So the next few entries will be spent summing them up in small doses. I have seven movies to get through, plus a couple of video games.

First up, my friend John and I went to the cinema on Tuesday and saw two movies.

The first was The Perks of Being a Wallflower, which, for me, was this year's biggest surprise since The Cabin in the Woods! It's about a junior in high school who's an outcast until he's taken under the wing of two seniors. Maybe it's just because I'm overly sentimental and a sucker for underdog stories, but I surprisingly really loved this movie.
In many ways, this is the polar opposite of Project X, since I genuinely liked all these characters and wanted to be part of this high school.
It may seem overly soap opera-ish to some people, but I'll admit that I loved every second of it. It's a very familiar story, but its characters are so charming that it's just irresistible.
My rating: 85%.

And the second was Looper. And my first impression is that it was a tad over-hyped. I mean, yes, it was undeniably clever and very entertaining, but it didn't blow my mind, and I didn't think it was as amazing as everybody said.
Parts of it maybe weren't quite developed enough for me to immediately get them, so my lingering confusion is probably why some later scenes fell flat.
But like I said, this is just my initial reaction. Maybe a second viewing will change my mind.
Still, many individual scenes were brilliantly written and executed, even if it didn't quite all gel together for me. What happens to the old Seth still sticks in my head; that was brutal!
So on the whole, I enjoyed it, and I look forward to seeing it again to see if I can follow everything that evaded me the first time round.
My rating: 75%.

Frankenweenie + Taken 2 (2012)

John and I went to the cinema again on Thursday.

The first movie we saw was Frankenweenie. It's Tim Burton once again doing what he does best: a dark, somewhat twisted horror spoof. Stop-motion animation, too. It's classic Tim Burton inside and out. But it's a shame the movie itself is just okay.
It has a lot of cute references to classic horror movies (my personal favourite being a dog with the Bride of Frankenstein hair), the climax has some fun moments, and of course it's all flawlessly animated. But none of it packs any kind of emotional punch, even though it's trying to. Maybe it's the voice acting – I don't know.
Other than that, I'm not sure what to say about this one. I liked parts of it, and it had a lot of potential, but overall it was nowhere near as strong as it could have been. I prefer this year's other stop-motion horror spoof, ParaNorman, by far.
My rating: 60%.

And the second was Taken 2. This one's okay too. It's certainly much simpler than the original. It's not trying to be anything more than a simple revenge-themed action fest. And for that, it's not bad.
In a way, it's also less pretentious than the original. I've mentioned before that you'd expect a certain degree of maturity from a film involving the very real issue of human trafficking. But this sequel has nothing to do with that.
The only major problem is the excessive Bourne-esque shaky cam. I thought at first that that would constantly irritate me, but luckily, for the most part, I could still make out what was happening.
Also, the story has no real structure, so the climax kind of caught me off guard when it arrived.
On the whole, I think it's okay. It's a fun film with some fun moments.
My rating: 60%.

30 Days of Night (2007), City of God (2002) + Predators (2010)

John and I also watched a couple of DVDs I'd brought with me.

The first was 30 Days of Night. One word: sucked! I haven't read the comic it's based on, but it can't be any worse than this! After all, this is an awesome premise. But man is it executed poorly in this movie!
All the performances are dull as dishwater, which makes the sombre tone seem downright boring rather than desperate. (So you can see why they chose David Slade to direct a Twilight movie!)
We get no sense whatsoever of the passing of time. Instead of just jumping ahead a few days every once in a while, how about if the vampires had massacred the town gradually, building up to a climax?
And the vampires themselves just look… well… silly.
So yeah, I don't like this one. A great premise and cinematography can't make up for an insufferably boring tone.
My rating: 35%.

And the second was City of God. Now, that's more like it!
A caption on the box calls it the Brazilian Goodfellas, and coincidentally that's exactly what I was thinking while watching it! It reminds me very much of Goodfellas with its narration and its premise of the everymen working their way up the mob hierarchy.
This is a gang war story in which both sides are as rotten as each other, so who you root for depends on whose ideals you agree with most. Rocket is the only one who stays honest throughout, but all the characters are easy to latch onto because of how human they seem (except for Li'l Zé, whose thirst for violence seems to come completely out of nowhere).
At times it gets pretty unpleasant, but it never stops being an entertaining and captivating story. Terrific movie.
My rating: 90%.

And finally, we watched one of John's DVDs: Predators. This is another one that I really enjoyed. Everyone says it's a long-awaited worthy sequel to the franchise, and they're not kidding. It captures everything that was good about the original Predator, but still updates it appropriately.
My favourite scene is actually the opening. It's a fantastic excuse to have the characters fight right off the bat!
I actually think it's much more consistently strong than the original, where the first half wasn't that interesting, but it accelerated to one of the best climaxes I've ever seen. Though, on that note, I wish this movie could have had a better climax. The ending does lead to a really weak twist.
Still, all the performances are solid (especially Adrien Brody), and the movie never stops being entertaining and awesome.
My rating: 75%.

The Walking Dead + XCOM: Enemy Unknown (VG)

As I mentioned, I also played a couple of games in England. So here we go: my first video game-related first impression comments!

The big one was The Walking Dead from Telltale. I watched the first season of the show while I was there, and I was distinctly underwhelmed. I know they're both based on the comic book series, so there's not much point in comparing the two, but in my opinion the Telltale game blows the show out of the water. It's a much more believable depiction of the zombie apocalypse, and I like the characters far, far, far better.
It's also really clever how the game actually adapts to the choices you make along the way. It really does seem like you're creating your own adventure.
So far, only episodes one to four have been released, and I really look forward to seeing the fifth and final – though I will admit the voice on the phone seems to have taken a step into straight-up Bond villain territory.
Overall, another of Telltale's triumphs.
My rating: 95%.

I also played another game that's been causing quite a buzz recently: XCOM: Enemy Unknown. From what I can gather, this is the game that hardcore X-COM fans had been waiting for, finally returning the series to its turn-based strategy roots. For me, it was my first X-COM experience, and it was a highly enjoyable one.
Though I admit I'm not the best strategic thinker in the world. John and I took it in turns to play the game, which I think further impeded my performance: I lost out on valuable experience, so when it came to the tougher situations later on, I just got clobbered – especially going up against the Chrysalids. (God, I fucking hate those things!)
I really need to get it myself and get some practice of my own. So it's a good thing it's a good enough game that I really want to do that anyway! :)
I can see it having a lot of replay value and giving me hours of fun in the future.
My rating: 90%.

Stacking + Eufloria (VG)

And finally, to close this England mega-post, I'll just briefly comment on two little independent games.

Stacking is an adventure game from Double Fine in which you play a little Russian nested doll trying to rescue his family.
You can stack up with larger dolls and take control of them, and this leads to some fun puzzles.
It's another game I look forward to playing more.
My rating: 70%.

And Eufloria is a very simplistic game where you're basically planting seeds on asteroids. Later on, you have to use those seeds to fight evil ones, but I was just too unenthused to think in the required strategic way. The whole concept didn't do a thing for me at all. It's a game about planting seeds! It just left me thinking, "Why am I playing this?"
It's better to think of them as spaceships or something, and I had a lot more fun watching John play it – 'cos he got much more into it.
I don't have a rating for this one, since it's perfectly fine for what it is, but it just didn't appeal to me personally.

A Thousand Words + The Raid (2012)

Time for this week's pair of rentals. :)

First, A Thousand Words, the new comedy with Eddie Murphy. It boasts a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, so I had to check it out! I was thinking, "It can't be that bad, right?" But indeed it was! Oh, God do I hate this movie! This is right up there with This Means War as one of the worst movies of the year so far!
I didn't mind the first half-hour too much, but I certainly wasn't laughing at it. But once Eddie Murphy's character is forced to stop talking, everything goes downhill fast! Every scene that follows, where they constantly hammer that joke into the ground, is just excruciating to watch.
In fact, there's a scene just before the hour mark where, if I'd had any other mentality, that would have been the last straw: I seriously would have stopped the movie right there!
It's a movie that annoys the shit out of me, and I hate it all the more for trying to be emotional.
My rating: 15%.

And second, The Raid (AKA The Raid: Redemption). Now you're talking! In an age overflowing with brainless CG-fests, it's so refreshing to see an old-school martial arts action flick on the market.
Sometimes, just seeing men pitting their strength, speed and wits against each other is so much more exciting than an exaggerated "epic" spectacle. And it's most certainly done right here! I can't even watch this movie without uttering some kind of verbal reaction to each blow like, "Ooh!" "Aw-haww!"
The premise is a SWAT team infiltrating a mob boss's apartment complex, fighting for their lives when their target tells all the tenants to attack them. It's a fantastic setup, and it makes sense that the action is almost nonstop: these guys just can't catch a break!
In conclusion, if you're an action fan, then you can't skip this one! It's high-octane violence at its best.
My rating: 85%.

The Devil Inside + Wrath of the Titans (2012)

Happy Halloween, everyone! :D
I was meaning to rent two horror movies to mark the occasion: The Devil Inside and The Woman in Black. But The Woman in Black wasn't available to rent, even though Xtra-vision did have it to buy. It just makes no sense! So I had to make do with The Devil Inside and Wrath of the Titans.

So, The Devil Inside. I actually only watched this because of how awful I'd heard it was. It currently scores 7% on Rotten Tomatoes and 4.0 on IMDb. I didn't even give it a second thought at first; I just figured it was some lame horror movie that I was probably never going to see. But to hear that it was that bad? I just had to see for myself!
So yeah, I knew going in that it was probably going to be bad. But what I saw… Oh, God!!!
The first half is aggravating, with atrocious acting and the worst abuse of the "found footage" gimmick I've ever seen. It's a perfect example of, "Dude, just put the camera away!"
The second half, though, is just dull and uninteresting – probably the only time that's actually preferable!
Simply put, this is the worst fucking horror movie I've seen since The Fourth Kind, not to mention the absolute worst movie I've seen so far this year!
I give it my only turkey rating of the year so far!

And as for Wrath of the Titans… Now, I'm really scraping the bottom of the shit barrel with this one! It's an unnecessary sequel to an unnecessary remake! The amount of… unnecessary-ness here is just overwhelming!
But, just like its predecessor, the stuff that's good is good, but the stuff that's bad (which is the majority) is just dull and unremarkable.
I think the characters of Agenor and Hephaestus really sum it up best. When they're first introduced, they're both played very comedically and I don't like them at all. But when they do serve a purpose in the plot, they're wonderful.
Some of the elements of Greek mythology they throw in really work, but some, like the Minotaur, are just really unnecessary.
In conclusion, while it's not as dull as its predecessor, on the whole it's really no better.
My rating: 40%.

Chernobyl Diaries + Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

Time for this week's pair of rentals. :)

Rental 1: Chernobyl Diaries.
Well, first of all, I was under the impression that this was a found footage movie. It's not. So the documentary style of the camera work is just bizarre.
All the other atmospherics are convincing, though, especially the lighting; it does almost feel like you're there.
But, just like with many other horror movies, the characters are what kills it. Good God are they boring! As such, a lot of the movie keeps you on edge, but it's not out of fear for the characters' lives: it's just out of anticipation for the next jump scare. And I hate to break it to you, but jump scares in and of themselves are not scary! After a while, they get old. In fact, by the halfway point of this movie, they weren't even making me jump anymore.
Overall, my one-word summary of this movie would be "meh".
My rating: 45%.

Rental 2: Moonrise Kingdom. Maybe it's because I'm not familiar with Wes Anderson's other work, but this is one of the strangest movies I've seen in quite a while!
I think it was meant to be a family film, but I'm not entirely sure. It certainly has the feel of a kids' movie, like the production design in Suzy's house at the beginning: it looks just like a doll's house.
It's a coming-of-age drama, for sure.
It's about two kids who fall in love and run away into the wilderness. And the ensuing hunt for them involving the authorities, the Khaki Scouts and, towards the end, the social services pretty much delivers all the kids' movie tropes you'd expect.
It definitely has a lot of heart, but it's as much perplexing as it is charming. It was good, I guess, but it was mostly just kind of odd.
My rating: 60%.

Red Lights + The Woman in Black (2012)

Time for this week's pair of rentals. :)

Rental 1: Red Lights.
This movie has quite a promising premise. It focuses on a pair of scientists, played by Cillian Murphy and Sigourney Weaver, who specialise in revealing the trickery behind staged paranormal activity, and now Murphy is determined to investigate Simon Silver (played by Robert De Niro), a retired stage psychic who's making a comeback. It leads you to believe that maybe – just maybe – Silver does indeed have connections to the supernatural.
But once Murphy's investigation into Silver gets under way, the movie goes downhill, dissolving into a clichéd jump scare fest.
And then the whole thing is ruined by a distractingly silly twist ending! The plot twist at the end makes no sense, and in fact contradicts most of what's been seen up to that point!
Ultimately, it's just a very disappointing movie.
My rating: 45%.

Rental 2: The Woman in Black.
It's an old-school ghost story through-and-through, relying more on chills than most modern horror flicks. I daresay it may even have given me a whole new respect for ghost stories.
I don't think it's really chilling enough, though. The atmosphere of isolation and nervous tension when Arthur first arrives at the house is spot-on, and the movie does boast one of the best jump scares I've ever seen. But the middle section seems to care about nothing but throwing "creepy" moments at you almost continuously. And they have no rhyme or reason, so the whole section gets boring pretty quickly. A lot of the scares were pretty predictable, too.
But the climax makes up for all that, and I especially like the bittersweet ending.
Overall, it was okay. I haven't read the book, but I'm sure it's a lot better.
My rating: 65%.

Skyfall (2012)

Okay, I just got home from seeing Skyfall. It was pretty much what I expected: it succeeds in combining classic over-the-top Bond elements that we all know and love with the Daniel Craig movies' more serious approach.
It's a good story that leads to some wonderful character interactions as well as a fantastic climax. And I especially like how it incorporates the fancy gadgets without going overboard with them to the point where it's just ridiculous, unlike some of the past Bond movies.
Its only downfall, in my opinion, is the villain. Javier Bardem gives a terrific performance, as expected, but a lot of his dialogue is pretty lacklustre.
Also, the opening action sequence is quite clumsily shot and edited, but all the rest are much easier to follow.
In conclusion, I'd say this is one Bond movie that anyone can enjoy. Easily one of the best of the franchise.
My rating: 80%.

Argo (2012)

I just got back from Dublin. I really just went up there to see Keane (my absolute favourite band) live at the Olympia Theatre, but one of the things I did to pass the time before the concert was to go and see Argo.
If you've seen the trailer, you'll know it's based on a true story that, until recently, was classified. It's an unbelievable rescue mission story, and director Ben Affleck brings it to the screen magnificently.
I haven't yet seen Gone Baby Gone, but I think I can quite safely say this is Ben Affleck's best directing job to date. The atmosphere of fear in the midst of the fierce Iranian uprising is captured flawlessly; the tension in every scene is palpable.
The climax does come across as perhaps a tad too cinematic, if you know what I mean, but the edge-of-your-seat suspense still never lets up.
All I can say is, if you haven't seen it, do so. It's easily one of the best movies of the year.
My rating: 85%.

Gambit (1966) + Red Dawn (1984)

I spent today watching two movies whose remakes are coming out late this year.

First, Gambit, a 1966 heist film starring Michael Caine and Shirley MacLaine.
Now, I'm a sucker for heist movies, and this one featured a pretty ingenious plan.
I loved the first half-hour, loved the last half-hour… but with the middle section, it took me a while to get back on track with the movie, because it lost me after throwing a curveball. I don't know if I should spoil this for those of you who haven't seen it, but… In the first half-hour, you watch the robbery take place. Then it cuts back to the beginning again, and Michael Caine says, "So that's the plan." Yeah, everything you saw up to that point didn't actually happen! That really catches you off guard, but the idea was to make you feel his character's concern and frustration when, from the start, things don't go as expected.
On the whole, I'd say this is definitely one to check out.
My rating: 70%.

And secondly, Red Dawn (1984).
This movie really is a product of its time, summing up America's fears in the grip of the Cold War. But that doesn't necessarily mean it's outdated; it still makes for a good war scenario.
But I have to admit I'm not a fan of war movies. I know they're supposed to represent war for real rather than a conventional narrative, but that doesn't change the fact that I generally find them unfocused and somewhat boring. This movie is no different.
But for what it's worth, it is packed with good ideas, like being forced to hunt in the wilderness to survive. And the fact that the main characters are children adds so much more flavour. It's also kind of a precursor to Inglourious Basterds, in that it's about a group of renegade guerrillas spreading fear among the enemy ranks.
So I guess I recommend it. But from what I've heard, I agree with everyone else: just ignore the remake with Chris Hemsworth.
My rating: 65%.

Mirror Mirror + The Angels' Share (2012)

This week's pair of rentals are Mirror Mirror and The Angels' Share.

Rental 1: Mirror Mirror.
My first thought when this movie ended was, "Wow! That sucked!"
I don't know whether or not it would have annoyed me as much if I'd known going in that it was supposed to be a comedy, but only a small handful of jokes work anyway.
I don't know if Julia Roberts had any creative control, but the whole part of the Queen certainly seemed like a big ego trip.
Of course the dwarfs were the best part, but even they were okay at best. Still, to the movie's credit, at least it did get real dwarfs (sorry if that's not PC) to play them.
I also have to say, the CGI is just awful! I mean, Snow White and the Huntsman had some pretty obvious CG as well, but this was almost Asylum-level bad!
In conclusion, I don't know who I'd recommend this movie to, but certainly not people who want to see the fairytale done well!
My rating: 35%.

Rental 2: The Angels' Share.
I don't know how much I can say about this one without getting into spoilers. It's probably best if you go into it knowing as little as possible, like I did.
It's about a young punk in Glasgow trying to turn over a new leaf for his newborn son's sake. It seems like a predictable story at first glance, but it's not. For example, you're led to believe his community service supervisor will become a clichéd father figure, but the story doesn't go in that direction at all.
But the main thing this movie did for me was the last half-hour. Again, I won't spoil anything, but I will say it's just fantastic in how morally ambiguous it is.
I guess I'll conclude by saying that, quite simply, I highly recommend it. It's a wonderfully bittersweet comedy drama.
My rating: 85%.

Think Like a Man + Cosmopolis (2012)

Time for this week's pair of rentals. :)

Rental 1: Think Like a Man.
It's based on Steve Harvey's book Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man, which basically instructs women on how to be a keeper in a relationship. I'm pretty sure the book's incredibly sexist!
Still, making a movie based around that book is actually not a bad idea. But what they do with it… is about as predictable as it gets. I'm usually not the kind of guy who complains about clichés, but this movie didn't surprise me at all. And it didn't even make up for that by giving me endearing characters. They're all just dull archetypes: some are full of themselves, one's pussywhipped, they all change their ways over the course of the movie and blah blah blah. We've seen it before. It's been done well before, but it's not done well here.
It's an astonishingly long movie, too, with no regard for pacing.
On the whole, it could have been worse, but I still wouldn't recommend it.
My rating: 40%.

Rental 2: Cosmopolis.
It's directed by David Cronenberg, so, going in, I thought it was safe to assume that it was in safe hands. But alas, the movie turned out to be one of the most insufferably boring experiences I've had all year.
It's more like an art house film than anything else. The cinematography is totally bizarre, with all kinds of weird, uncomfortable angles. And all the dialogue is just overly philosophical mumbo jumbo.
Maybe it's all supposed to be a satire of modern society, but it's not a very accessible one! It's all just random encounters and uninteresting dialogue.
I don't get it. I'm sorry. Maybe I'm not smart enough, or well enough informed, to get it. Maybe I don't know what all the rats symbolise. Maybe the themes of the future and capitalism are lost on me. But I don't care that I don't get it!
So, technically speaking, Think Like a Man was probably the worse of the two movies. But personally speaking, man was Cosmopolis a tough sit!
My rating: 35%.

Im loving this forum. I agree with most of your reviews! I'll be coming back for more :]

Jurassic Park: The Game (VG)

I was up all night last night playing Telltale's Jurassic Park: The Game.
Now, Jurassic Park is one of my favourite movies of all time, so this is probably the Telltale movie-licensed game that I was looking forward to the most. Plus, from the trailers, it looked scary as fuck!
The story takes place parallel to the first movie, and I was afraid it might ruin the film for me. But some of the ways they develop the story are actually pretty clever. For example, we get some insight into what the island was like before John Hammond bought it. Other parts are expansions to the world of the park that just had me scratching my head – but as the game progressed, I began to just go with the flow and enjoy it for what it was.
But what really kills the game is the control. The whole game is based on quick time events, and they're the most annoying kind that I've seen. The icon indicating which button to press appears on the screen at pure random, and you're only given a fraction of a second to press the right button. (It's partly for that same reason that I'm one of those people who didn't like Heavy Rain.) So if you're anything like me, on each stage of each dinosaur encounter, you're guaranteed to die a few times trying to memorise the right pattern of buttons – which, half the time, isn't made clear anyway!
Overall, this game's okay. It does suffer from controls that can be frustrating if you're not used to them, but it does feature some awesome story moments to look forward to. (And the key word there is "some"!) It's certainly not a patch on Telltale's Back to the Future or The Walking Dead games, though.
My rating: 65%.

2012 (2009)

Happy New Year, everyone!!! :D But I've certainly had a depressing start to the year!
I finally got round to seeing 2012. Or rather getting it out of the way. I knew it was going to suck, and it didn't disappoint.
I know it's just supposed to be a dumb blockbuster, but this script is so corny that it stops being ironically enjoyable and just becomes plain egregious. The movie constantly shifts focus between far too many characters, and all of them are as flat as can be.
And worst of all, the action scenes aren't the least bit exciting because they look as fake as it gets. Kudos to the animators for all the detail they put in, but it's still CG and it looks like shit! It looks so fake that it just makes you wish the whole movie was animated.
This movie is nearly two hours and forty minutes long, and it feels like it! It's boring as hell, but at least it's well shot. So I'll take this over a Michael Bay shit-fest any day!
My rating: 30%.

Also, on a side note, I should point out that I watched it on Netflix. And I'm seriously considering unsubscribing! It makes no sense to me why you should have to stream the movie online. What if you have a poor internet connection? The amount of times I had to pause the movie just to let the buffer catch up is just ludicrous! Regardless of whether or not you're enjoying the movie, that is a total mood killer! It's retarded! Why should I have to do that? You should be able to download the movie file and watch it freely without having to worry about that. That's the whole point of UltraViolet, so why can't Netflix do it?

Martha Marcy May Marlene (2012), Shadow Dancer (2012) + Dredd (2012)

Xtra-vision (Ireland's main rental chain) have a new deal on: three new releases for three nights for €10. I thought I'd take advantage of that this week. I decided I might as well make it three hopefully good ones to make it fully worth the tenner.

Rental 1: Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011).
It's about a young woman trying to get back in tune with normal life after running away from a sadistic cult.
When I looked up the movie afterwards, I found I'd somewhat misjudged it. The movie constantly shifts between the present and her time with the cult with no apparent order. Apparently, the idea was that this girl's line between memory and reality is becoming blurred, and that certainly becomes clear towards the end, but for most of the movie, I just thought it was fragmented editing and random flashbacks.
I definitely understood that she was being tormented by paranoia and fear that the cult may be coming after her, though. And she had good reason to fear them! I don't want to spoil anything, but let's just say it's a really fucked up clan!
It's Elizabeth Olsen's screen debut, and she's just fantastic.
It's a wonderfully psychological movie, but something about the tone and style of the whole thing sort of rubbed me the wrong way. I can definitely say I've never seen a movie like this before, though!
My rating: 70%.

Rental 2: Shadow Dancer (2012).
It's about Colette, a woman hired by MI5 to spy on her brothers, who are involved with the IRA, for the sake of her son's welfare.
The only phrase I can think of to describe this movie is, "What a load of bore!" Maybe it'd make more sense to someone who knows more about IRA bombings or whatever, but this movie barely even bothers to explain what the IRA's deal is. So any ignorant slob like me who doesn't know their history is going to be totally lost!
I didn't understand any of the characters' motivations; I didn't even know who some of them were supposed to be.
Andrea Riseborough gives a great central performance, though, especially compared to the same year's WE: she's splendidly vulnerable, and her Belfast accent is far better than her American accent.
Overall, it's not bad, but it just didn't do a thing for me personally.
My rating: 50%.

And now we come to the big one! :) Rental 3: Dredd (2012).
I never read any of the comics, but everyone says this is a far more faithful adaptation than the Stallone movie. It basically has the same philosophy as The Amazing Spider-Man: "Forget the previous movies; this is how the comics were always meant to be brought to the screen!"
In any case, there's no denying it's a much darker movie too! Not only is it insanely violent, but it conveys a really strong sense of what a crime-infested hellhole the city is – completely the opposite of the Stallone movie, which is ironic considering how much bigger a budget and scale that movie had! :)
Basically, while I still like the Stallone movie for the over-the-top self-aware action flick that it is, there's no denying that this is by far the superior film. It's a terrifically dark action movie with clever ideas and thrills aplenty. It's a shame I didn't get to see it in 2012 itself, because it definitely would have been somewhere on my top ten favourites list.
My rating: 85%.

The Cavern (AKA WIthIN) (2005)

I saw The Cavern (or WIthIN) today.
If you've seen Film Brain's video review on ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com, then everything he said holds true. I'm one of those people who prefer not to base my judgement of the movie on reviews like that alone, but rather to see the whole thing myself so I can properly assess it, for better or for worse. As a result, seeing Film Brain's review of this movie beforehand kind of lessened the effect for me, so I didn't hate it as much as he did, but it was still abysmal.
The characters are all complete morons, as well as frequently irritating. The cinematography has to be among the worst of all time, with so much colour bleeding that it's downright ugly to look at – not to mention some of the most annoying shaky cam I've ever seen. And the ending leaves an especially foul taste in the mouth.
Basically, this movie is The Descent for idiots, and one of the worst-written, worst-looking movies I've ever come across. Between this and The Fourth Kind, I can say without any exaggeration that Olatunde Osunsanmi is right up there with Michael Bay as one of the absolute worst directors of all time!
My rating: turkey.

Lincoln + Django Unchained (2012)

I recently went to the cinema to see two movies back-to-back.

First up, Lincoln, Steven Spielberg's biopic about Abraham Lincoln's struggle to get the Thirteenth Amendment passed.
I'm sure it's really inspiring to anyone who actually understands what the hell's being said! But a lot of the dialogue was political mumbo jumbo that, for me, just went right over my head. Also, I didn't know the history going in, but I didn't think that should stand in the way of my enjoyment of the movie itself. But alas, it did. This movie was clearly made only for people who know their history, and anyone who doesn't is going to be totally lost.
That being said, I was able to get the basic gist for the most part, and I did like parts of it. Daniel Day-Lewis, of course, is phenomenal in the role, and even though I could barely understand his dialogue, I still got the point.
So, overall, I think it's okay. I'm sure it's a good historical depiction, but it's just not very engaging for an ignorant slob like me.
My rating: 60%.

Now, Django Unchained was more my cup of tea. It's Quentin Tarantino, so how could you go wrong? :)
I sat there grinning all the way through this movie! Not only is it as badass and clever as you'd expect, but it's also laugh-out-loud funny. Right from the opening credits, when the upbeat Django theme is playing over imagery of slaves in chains, I was along for the ride.
I do think, though, that this is one of those movies that doesn't know when to end. It's over two-and-a-half hours, and the climax does drag on for a bit too long. I thought the big shootout would be the final scene, but boy was I wrong!
Still, with that said, I thoroughly enjoyed this movie on the whole. I did start to lose concentration during the second half, but I think that was just sleep deprivation catching up to me. I'd love to see it again when I'm better rested. :)
Not one of my absolute favourite Tarantino works, but it's definitely a good one.
My rating: 85%.