Movie 43 Reviews

Omnibus films featuring big names can work as long as the product works well, but Movie 43 fails as it combines the series of shorts into one narrative. There are two versions of the film: One takes place in a producer’s conference and the other takes place at a teenager’s home before an apocalypse. Some segments have missing payoffs like the one where a grocery clerk Neil (Kiernan Culkin) falls in love with Veronica (Emma Stone) or Batman (Jason Sedakis) giving dating advice to Robin (Justin Long). Others, like the one where Beth (Kate Winslet) goes on a date with millionaire Davis (Hugh Jackman), the one where Amanda (Chloe Moretz) experiences her first menstrual cycle, and the one where a man (Chris Pratt) takes laxatives to show his love for his fiancée (Anna Faris) are just an excuse to throw out gross-out jokes. Meanwhile, it throws in socio-political commentary in these sketches, like the sexist ad executive (Richard Gere) pitching the product iBabe to his staff or the 1950’s coach (Terrence Howard) teaching the first all-black basketball team. However, other segments are okay, like the game of truth of dare between Stephen Merchant and Halle Berry, the one featuring a gay cartoon cat or a birthday present involving a leprechaun (Gerard Butler). You know your project is in trouble when you title it Movie 43 because these rejected CollegeHumor sketches seem like they were filmed before the producers came up with the title. It especially doesn’t work when they bookend these vignettes with a lazy and last minute narrative. I do not object to shock and gross-out comedy, in fact, as a teen, I watched a good chunk of lowbrow shows like “Robot Chicken” and “Family Guy.” Whereas those were handled with contextual intelligence, Movie 43 is a limp, desperate attempt from over fifteen directors to throw every adult humor on the screen resulting in a giant mess.

(1 ½ Balls on Chins out of 5)

Of course, I had some low expectations before watching this flick but even so I thought it was really awful and easily one of the worst movies I have seen for a while. Indeed, basically, it is a collection of supposedly funny segments but they were just really cringe-inducing and I don't think I can pick up a segment which was actually slightly worth a look. Apparently, I have seen an alternate version intead of the one released in the US but there is no way that I'm going to check this other version just too make sure that it is just as bad as the one I have seen. The most bewildering thing about this project is the stunning number of famous and sometimes even really good actors that got involved into this. My best guess is that it was some kind of domino effect : actor A said yes, then since actor A said yes, actor B thought he should say yes as well, and then actor C had to say yes too,.... Apparently, I was right, Hugh Jackman was the first one to get on board, then Kate Winslet was next so they shot first their segment that was shown to convince the rest. Anyway, this flick is an utter commercial and creative failure, you wonder how many decent low budget features could have been made instead with all these talented actors and directors, it is absolutely not worth a look and you should avoid it.

Though hardly a consistently funny film, "Movie 43" is, astonishingly, not a complete and utter miss. I is a hit-and-miss spectacle around the lines of 2013's "The ABCs of Death," with a comedy rather than horror theme. At it's worst, it's still a lot better than the worst "ABCs of Death" has to offer.

The plot is loosely and crudely constructed, with an emphasis on 'crude.' The jokes consistently base themselves on shock value and poor taste, with sometimes funny results. This is an anthology film, and the segments all base themselves around this premise- wimpy schmuck Griffin (Greg Kinnear) listens as obsessed screenwriter Charlie (Dennis Quaid) pitches a script to him- a tasteless opus that Griffin quickly dismisses. Undeterred, Charlie holds Griffin at gunpoint and tries to force him to sell the script. The following shenanigans are the contents of this screenplay.

The first segment, "The Catch," is actually pretty funny as Kate Winslet tries to figure out why no one seems to notice the giant ballsack hanging from her date Hugh Jackman's neck. Don't judge me, I laughed. The second one was pretty funny in an 'ashamed of yourself but laughing' way, it actually plays on the stereotypes about homeschoolers, as a homeschooled young person I appreciated that.

The only other really funny short in this collection is the grossly inappropriate iBabe. The others range from pretty mediocre to pretty bad. The one with Chloe Grace Moretz, a talented young actress, is just embarrassing and awkward as a teenage girl is humiliated by her inopportunely timed first period and the incompetence of her male audience. The one with Anna Faris was gross and pointless, and is only funny if you like poop jokes and third rate sitcom humor.

Some of the shorts were mesmerizing in their strange tastelessness, "Beezel," with it's homosexual cat jacking off to pictures of his owner in swimtrunks, is a startling example. I didn't find the short about the black basketball players particularly racist, but I didn't find it funny either.

"Movie 43" doesn't really utilize it's all-star cast, but you could do worse for a late-rainy-day distraction. If you get to watch it free, and want to laugh a few times and think 'hmm, that's strange,' then go for it. It's not the abomination people have made it out to be, but it's no classic comedy. Just remember to lighten up and think for yourself!

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Movie 43 was probably the most infamous movie at the start of the year. Many people billed it as so repulsive that they wished they could unsee it. And to tell you the truth, with all that bad press… I'm surprised I wasn't more disgusted.
I mean, don't get me wrong: it was still sickening! It's basically an anthology of aggressively gross-out short films. It's a movie that mistakes simply being tasteless for being funny. But I guess the reason it didn't completely appal me (besides all the negative hype perhaps lessening the effect) was that I was actually kind of fascinated by it. I was like, "How did they come up with this shit?!"
I don't have time to describe all the sketches, but I will say this. The Catch, The Proposition and Beezel were the three worst: I could barely look at the screen during those ones. Homeschooled and Middleschool Date were just uncomfortable. During Happy Birthday, I did get a laugh out of the insults the leprechaun threw, but that's it.
One thing I have to say: the overarching interlude binding the shorts together was completely different from what I'd heard. Instead of a Hollywood producer pitching movie ideas, the version I saw had teen brothers finding the films online. I guess the difference is between the British and American versions of the film.
Whichever version you see, if you watch it from beginning to end, you'll just ask yourself, "What the fuck am I watching?!"

My rating: 20%

"Just when I thought this couldn't get more offensive..."

I saw an early afternoon screening of Movie 43, in a cinema with only six other patrons. The flick played to what can only be described as stunned, staggering, awkward silence. At no point did any of the patrons laugh or even guffaw. Instead, everyone sat in their seats, absolutely depressed and uncomfortable, yearning for the torture to cease. Movie 43 carries the tagline, "Once you see it, you cannot un-see it," but this is actually more of a warning that you should absolutely heed. It's a film designed to shock you and make you laugh, but it will only make you consistently yawn and check your watch. In fact, the only shocking thing about Movie 43 is that so many wonderful actors took part in this travesty.

The story is framed around crazed would-be screenwriter Charlie (Dennis Quaid), who's anxious to sell a few film pitches to studio executive Griffin (Greg Kinnear). His first idea is a tale about a woman named Beth (Kate Winslet) who goes on a blind date with a wealthy bachelor (Hugh Jackman) whose testicles are attached to his neck. In another of Charlie's ideas, Anna Faris plays someone who wants her boyfriend (Chris Pratt) to defecate on her. There's also a segment in which a high-powered executive (Richard Gere) is trying to figure out why young boys are inserting their fingers and penises into the "iBabe," a portable music player shaped like a naked woman which has a fan vent in the vaginal region. If any of this sounds funny, it really isn't. At one stage, Griffin becomes fed up with Charlie's woeful ideas and tells him to leave his office, but Charlie pulls a pistol and threatens to shoot Griffin if he doesn't listen to the rest of his ideas and buy them. Frankly, if I were given the choice between a bullet to the head and watching more of Movie 43, I would've chosen the fucking bullet.

In essence, Movie 43 basically asks us to watch cinematic treatments of ideas that everyone in the film acknowledges are terrible. Yes, that's the premise, and hence Movie 43 is meant to be bad, but that does not excuse its terribleness. Shit, unfunny ideas are shit, unfunny ideas, even if everyone is self-aware.

The brainchild of director Peter Farrelly, Movie 43 was in production for about four years, with the filmmaker waiting for actors and directors to become available to shoot their segments. It's a good idea in theory since it allowed Farrelly to assemble one of the biggest casts of A-list actors in history, but the result is completely dire, with nobody able to enliven the dire material. Irritatingly, some of the sketches are actually built on promising conceptual frameworks, but everything is obnoxiously laughless when translated to the big screen. Moreover, Movie 43 had the freedom of an R-rating to give its comedy more bite. What a shame the makers treated the opportunity like 15-year-old boys, favouring lazy gross-out jokes and haphazard swearing in lieu of genuine wit. Some PG-rated comedies are funnier than this. Fuck, YouTube users are capable of funnier content, which they make on the cheap and release for free. There's no fucking reason for a $5 million theatrical comedy to be so thoroughly dreary.

The only thing remotely funny in the picture's entire 90-minute running time is one cleverly self-deprecating line from Seth MacFarlane that was most likely improvised. As for the rest, the filmmakers rely on horrendous humour, with Halle Berry using her breast to make guacamole, and Chloë Grace Moretz smearing period blood all over her boyfriend's house. Oh, and Stephen Merchant gets a tattoo of a large dick on the side of his mouth, complete with cum dripping from its tip. Naomi Watts even plays a mother who home-schools her child and chooses to be his first sexual encounter. I swear to God I'm not making any of this up. Once the film ends, there's an outtake reel and apparently an additional vignette after the end credits expire. I cannot comment on the quality of either, as I walked straight out of the cinema as fast as I could once I saw the credits appearing.

It is only February, yet Movie 43 is the worst movie of 2013. Not the worst so far...it is the worst, period. It is scientifically impossible for any other release this year to be worse. At least movies like The Room and Plan 9 From Outer Space possess a certain charm due to their awfulness. Movie 43, on the other hand, is just a stillborn - obnoxiously unfunny, lethally tedious, and completely unwatchable. In coming years, it will probably develop into somewhat of a cult curiosity, with the sublime cast list fooling viewers into at least giving it a shot. This makes it all the more disheartening that Movie 43 is not a better or funnier motion picture. Judging by the fact that the actors all refused to participate in promotion, it's clear that everyone regrets taking part. And now rising stars like Moretz and Emma Stone will have this gargantuan black mark on their filmographies.

0.7/10