The Villain Reviews

Kirk Douglas and Arnold Schwarzenegger did a movie together? Yeah, I couldn’t believe it at first either. But that’s only the tip the iceberg of bizarreness that is Cactus Jack. It’s also a live-action Road Runner cartoon! So let’s sum this up: “One of the all-time Hollywood greats and the granddaddy of cheesy action movies team up for a live-action road runner cartoon.” How did this movie bypass me for so long?

 

Douglas (in remarkable shape for 61) wasn’t as a big a star as he once was by the 1970s, so did he take this role due to lack of superior film offerings or was he not ashamed to show that he had a sense of humour about himself as the inept, out of his league outlaw Cactus Jack Slade. It’s also worth noting the relationship he has with his horse named Whiskey parallels to that he shared with a horse of the same name in a previous Kirk Douglas film Lonely are the Brave from 1962 – with the one difference being that the Whiskey in Cactus Jack acts in a cartoonish, anthropomorphic manner.

 

I’m also not sure if much of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s line delivery is supposed to be intentionally or unintentionally funny in the role of the male bimbo Handsome Stranger as he is oblivious to the sexual advances of Ann Margret’s Charming Jones. The scene in which Handsome narrates a flashback about when he tried to stop a bunch of runaway horses from injuring women, children and old men while trying his hardest to emote cracks me up.

 

The main problem with Cactus Jack is that the jokes are very hit and miss, from well-timed gems to moments of head-scratching awkwardness. At 85 minutes it’s already a short movie but even then it could have trimmed down to meet the requirements of its high concept premise. The roadrunner inspired gags are undoubtedly the highlight as Jack pulls props and elaborate setups out of thin air. By far my favourite gag is the classic painting a tunnel onto the side of a rock; having this gag in a cartoon is funny itself, however, I find having it played out in live-action is even funnier in the sense that I couldn’t believe they were doing a live-action rendition of this joke, having me pondering if that the carriage would really go through that painted tunnel.

 

On the other hand, other slapstick gags in the film don’t make a whole heap of sense even within the film’s cartoon world nor appear to have a clear method as to what Cactus Jack is trying to do in order to take down Handsome Stranger and Charming. Likewise, Cactus Jack is not a film that is particularly well-directed although a sleeker project would have less charm. This is the type of film I can watch more than once based purely on its novelty value and I’m happy it exists, even in its very flawed state.

I wasn't sure what to expect from this movie but since it was one of the few movies starring Arnold Schwarzenegger which I haven't seen yet so I thought I should give it a try. Basically, this movie represented the beginning of the end for Kirk Douglas (who was already more than 60 years old at the time) and the beginning of the beginning for Schwarzenegger. Basically, it is a Western spoof but even though I enjoyed the fact that it didn't sink too low, it was still not really funny, I'm afraid. It is the like the running joke with Douglas' horse. At first, it was pretty funny but it got old pretty quickly. At some point, I thought the whole thing really looked like the Road Runner cartoon and, indeed, this movie was indeed some kind of live-action version of the famous 'Looney Tunes' cartoon which is, you have to admit it, a rather odd idea. Back in those days, Schwarzenegger with his thick accent, was far from being a great actor (his acting skills are still very limited) but a few years later, he would finally breakthrough with 'Conan the Barbarian', a movie focusing on his impressive muscular stature with a rather silent character, a perfect combination for the Austrian Oak. Sadly, it is the only Western starring Kirk Douglas that I have seen so far and I really need to watch another one soon since he is considered one of the greatest icons in this genre. To conclude, even though the whole thing was rather harmless, it was still a pretty weak Western comedy and it is not really worth a look.