The Island Reviews

Not quite as bad as I read it would be, but pretty awful all the same. A horror pic from the writer and producers of Jaws, starring Michael Caine, and featuring a score by Ennio Morricone may sound like a great idea, but it's all a bit underbaked. In an unusually weak performance, Caine plays a journalist who drags his son along with him to investigate, who or what may be behind the disappearances of over 600 ships over a period of three years in the Caribbean. In a fairly suspenseful and gory first half-hour, we witness raids and attacks by modern-day pirates on holiday boaters – axes are seen splitting heads open, throats are slit and crazy bearded men with flaming headwear are briefly revealed to be the culprits. Should make for a pretty scary film, yes? Well, no. Once Caine and his son are taken captive on the island, the pirates turn out to be ridiculously-clothed, religious, democratic (well, sort of) hairy bikers who just enjoy living on their island more than anything else. It’s just totally bizarre, and not scary at all. The rest of the film follows their murdering sprees (they rarely even loot the ships ), some ridiculous changes of character from the main cast and that’s pretty much it. Even Morricone’s score isn’t really up to scratch. There are a few decent shocks and Frank Middlemass is a hoot, but this is a film that Caine, in his own words would say, “paid the rent.”

2/5