Prehistoric Women (1950) Reviews

**Contains extreme spoilers**

This is bad. So bad that it's good? Definitely not. But so bad it makes it worth watching to see how bad it really is.

Meet the savage women... with perfect hair, and a pet panther. And of course, these women are as frivolous and prone to jealousy as women in the 1950's were meant to be. These women are on a mission: To capture themselves some menfolk, not only that, but a "husband"! Carefully avoiding the subject of why they need these men, we follow the story of their surprisingly easy capture of three men, luring them back to their trees for goodness knows what! The sole man that escaped wants revenge on the women and decides to leave his own tribe and hunt them out, and on the way creates fire! Along the way we are also introduced to the terrifying Guadi, a giant that doesn't seem quite as tall as he is made out to be.

Time for a summary:
So basically its a story of girl (Tigri) meets boy (Engor), boy kills girl's panther, girl beats up his friends and takes them hostage, boy tracks down girl, makes fire, and gets beaten up and captured. Girls fight over boy while all he cares about is being reunited with his mates. Girl wants boy for herself and takes him up to her tree for a good whack with her stick and a nap. Girls fight over boy, first girl wins the right to feed him and lets him rub his face against hers. You know, the age-old story. All the while the girls are planning a marriage ceremony to trap the boys. Oh noes! This is a very bad thing because the girls are trying to assert their authority over the boys! How dare they! The boys aren't going to stand for this, they plan to escape. Boy, using his newly learned fire skills tries to use it for escape, but ends up saving girl, only to take her and her tribe hostage by holding her arm. Boys then make girls slave for them, but boy keeps girl for himself. Another boy is mean to girls, refusing to give them food and putting it in the fire. Guess what? He invented cooked meat! But oh noes! Boy is missing his mama, so they begin the journey back to the boys' home, encountering the giant on the way! Boys and girls hide in a small cave and giant laughs insanely at them. Boys use fire against giant, severely confusing him and saving the girls, returning to the girls tribe where they all do a lot of flirting and suddenly the uneven ratio of men and women doesn't seem to matter as much as before. Girls and boys get married and girls all dance (they do this quite a lot in this movie). Phew! Get all that?

I swear, some of these characters were used as a visual base for some Monty Python sketches.

With scenes stretching out much longer than they should, an extremely inaccurate portrayal of everything possible, surprisingly modern animals and a narrator who states the bloody obvious. It's a tale of romance (apparently) and fire. So bad it's past good and right back to bad again. Enjoy it, if you can.