Login
Posted : 1 year, 11 months ago on 24 May 2022 04:21
I still remember seeing this movie. At the time, I was enamored with all things Mortal Kombat and I greatly enjoyed the first film even though I knew it wouldn't sweep the Oscars. So when the movie theater I worked at put this poster up I just KNEW I had to see it. And I did.
Thus it is with great trepidation that I write this reluctant review. I really wanted so much to like this movie but... I just can't.
Where to begin? Well, obviously for those who saw the first movie, some key players got Darrined. Sonya, Johnny Cage, and Rayden are all played by different actors. The only problem I had with the new actors was the usual disappointment of getting attached to the originals. Believe it or not, I actually preferred the new Sonya as she seemed more badass and true to the original game character design. Johnny isn't around long enough for you to hate him and James Remar is OK, but he's no Lambert. If only Sandra Hess had been in the first one instead of the lame Bridgette Wilson.
The plot is just all over the map in this one. Rules are established then broken without explanation. Plot twists are introduced then forgotten. There's mystic nonsense about elder gods, Kitana having to reunite with her mother to save the world, Shao Khan being able to do whatever he wants because of Kitana's mother, finding your inner animality and Rayden giving up his immortality. Liu Kang is given three tests by a magical Native American but the movie forgets the other two and apparently courageousness means being able to resist a hot woman in a bikini. Sonya rescues Jax who has been given bionic metal arms because... your guess is good as mine. SubZero shows up to offer assistance to the heroes at a later time but later never comes. Kitana gets to play damsel in distress. Motaro and Sheeva hate each other but we have no idea why. Rain gets killed because he didn't make his victims suffer enough. Nobody seems to wonder where the rest of the people on earth disappeared to. Jade turns traitor because the script says so, I guess. Most people also cite that Johnny Cage is unceremoniously killed off at the beginning but his death was actually a plot point in MK3 (the game was on MK4 when the movie came out) so I can understand why they did it. The rest of it, who knows?
The dialogue and acting are just bad. It's fitting that Shao Kahn and Sindel are king and queen because in terms of acting, they are made of ham. Musetta Vander gets such awful dialogue that one wonders if she wasn't overacting on purpose and Brian Thompson is impossible to take seriously because of his scene-chewing delivery and less than imposing stature. Both Rayden and Sonya feel the need to comment on new hairstyles and the importance of personal hygiene in the middle of an apocalypse. Jax is another stereotypical black dude with attitude and Irina Pataneva (Jade) once again proves that walking down a runway does not automatically translate into acting ability.
I would comment on the other characters' acting ability but therein lies another problem: most of the characters aren't on screen long enough to actually act. Characters are thrown into the middle of the action, most without proper introduction only to be killed or forgotten seconds later, some of them without even fighting. Outsiders to the Mortal Kombat game franchise will have no idea who most of these people are and fans of the games will only see their favorite characters long enough to say "Yep, that's Baraka," "Yep, that's Mileena." The movie ends up being a cavalcade of cameos due to the disproportionally short running time and does the already flimsy plot no favors.
Every bad movie, of course, has one area that it excels at in terms of badness, and while the above examples are certainly worthy contenders, the special effects truly get the ultimate razzie here. I'm not one to pick on special effects too much but even I could tell these were bad. Highlights include the laughably bad CGI wall monster, the green screen lab explosion, the shapeshifter showdown between Liu Kang and Shao Kahn that looks straight out of the mind of Ray Harryhausen, and Motaro. Just... Motaro. They say that an actual Sheeva fight was originally planned but scrapped due to budget constraints. Judging by the effects they actually DID keep, that was probably a wise decision.
It pains me to have to trash this movie. I wanted so much to like it. I really did. But even as I watched it in the movie theater a week after opening, the whole thing just felt off. It almost played out like a parody or cheap knockoff of the first film. I also couldn't help but noticing that after the first weekend, the audience had all but vanished.
Perhaps I should've taken the hint.
Thus it is with great trepidation that I write this reluctant review. I really wanted so much to like this movie but... I just can't.
Where to begin? Well, obviously for those who saw the first movie, some key players got Darrined. Sonya, Johnny Cage, and Rayden are all played by different actors. The only problem I had with the new actors was the usual disappointment of getting attached to the originals. Believe it or not, I actually preferred the new Sonya as she seemed more badass and true to the original game character design. Johnny isn't around long enough for you to hate him and James Remar is OK, but he's no Lambert. If only Sandra Hess had been in the first one instead of the lame Bridgette Wilson.
The plot is just all over the map in this one. Rules are established then broken without explanation. Plot twists are introduced then forgotten. There's mystic nonsense about elder gods, Kitana having to reunite with her mother to save the world, Shao Khan being able to do whatever he wants because of Kitana's mother, finding your inner animality and Rayden giving up his immortality. Liu Kang is given three tests by a magical Native American but the movie forgets the other two and apparently courageousness means being able to resist a hot woman in a bikini. Sonya rescues Jax who has been given bionic metal arms because... your guess is good as mine. SubZero shows up to offer assistance to the heroes at a later time but later never comes. Kitana gets to play damsel in distress. Motaro and Sheeva hate each other but we have no idea why. Rain gets killed because he didn't make his victims suffer enough. Nobody seems to wonder where the rest of the people on earth disappeared to. Jade turns traitor because the script says so, I guess. Most people also cite that Johnny Cage is unceremoniously killed off at the beginning but his death was actually a plot point in MK3 (the game was on MK4 when the movie came out) so I can understand why they did it. The rest of it, who knows?
The dialogue and acting are just bad. It's fitting that Shao Kahn and Sindel are king and queen because in terms of acting, they are made of ham. Musetta Vander gets such awful dialogue that one wonders if she wasn't overacting on purpose and Brian Thompson is impossible to take seriously because of his scene-chewing delivery and less than imposing stature. Both Rayden and Sonya feel the need to comment on new hairstyles and the importance of personal hygiene in the middle of an apocalypse. Jax is another stereotypical black dude with attitude and Irina Pataneva (Jade) once again proves that walking down a runway does not automatically translate into acting ability.
I would comment on the other characters' acting ability but therein lies another problem: most of the characters aren't on screen long enough to actually act. Characters are thrown into the middle of the action, most without proper introduction only to be killed or forgotten seconds later, some of them without even fighting. Outsiders to the Mortal Kombat game franchise will have no idea who most of these people are and fans of the games will only see their favorite characters long enough to say "Yep, that's Baraka," "Yep, that's Mileena." The movie ends up being a cavalcade of cameos due to the disproportionally short running time and does the already flimsy plot no favors.
Every bad movie, of course, has one area that it excels at in terms of badness, and while the above examples are certainly worthy contenders, the special effects truly get the ultimate razzie here. I'm not one to pick on special effects too much but even I could tell these were bad. Highlights include the laughably bad CGI wall monster, the green screen lab explosion, the shapeshifter showdown between Liu Kang and Shao Kahn that looks straight out of the mind of Ray Harryhausen, and Motaro. Just... Motaro. They say that an actual Sheeva fight was originally planned but scrapped due to budget constraints. Judging by the effects they actually DID keep, that was probably a wise decision.
It pains me to have to trash this movie. I wanted so much to like it. I really did. But even as I watched it in the movie theater a week after opening, the whole thing just felt off. It almost played out like a parody or cheap knockoff of the first film. I also couldn't help but noticing that after the first weekend, the audience had all but vanished.
Perhaps I should've taken the hint.
0 comments, 
Posted : 7 years, 7 months ago on 23 September 2016 08:36