Genesis Games Reviews

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7.7

Earthworm Jim 2 - Super famicom and SNES

To say the Earthworm Jim series is surreal is an understatement. It's much more than that. It's Salvador Dali with juvenile humour. Shiny Entertainment, founded by gaming great David Perry, were known for their bizarre humour, and it showed perfectly in MDK, Sacrifice and the first two Earthworm Jim titles. All four games I love, with EJ2 being the greatest.

The setup is bizarre enough: an earthworm in a supersuit. His enemies are crows, flying bladders, penguins, Psy-Crow, fish in a tank, and Queen Slug-For-A-Butt. No, I did not make them up, they're real. The game employs Irish-Scottish music - Perry's Irish - and self-aware quotes which have become iconic, such as "Cow launched", or as how it becomes in the sequel, "Dunk the Cow".

The levels are shockingly bizarre. Check out "Jim's Now a Blind Cave Salamander!" Again, I did not make this up. As the title says, he's now a blind salamander and must flap his tiny wings and fly to the other end, all the while avoiding red-weed-type things, which curiously resemble intestines. The next level sees all the cows being abducted, and this is where flying bladders come and spray you with bullets. Let that sink in...

If Jim stays idle for quite some time, he throws a brick in the air, and after 10-15 seconds, it crashes right on top of him. Sometimes he pulls out a miniature Rambo-type guy from his, er, waist and either eats him or lets him go as if he's a wind-up toy. Also, babies in this game hurt a lot than in real life, so you gotta be careful. Babies... hurled towards you by crabs!

If you look at the picture it shows Jim and fish in the tank. It also says "fight" because it's a boss battle. But don't worry for it's the shortest, and funniest, boss battle in video gaming history. I didn't know of that fact, and here I was ready with my fingers on the specific keys, ready to brave for whatever was in store for me: maybe the fish enlarges into a shark, maybe he starts tearing you apart with 3 rail-guns; or maybe he turns into a hybrid of this and that. My mind was whirring with limitless scenarios. Just as it was reaching its zenith, the game started and Jim picked up the fish... and ate it!

Let that sink in...

Honorable mention goes to Pepsi-Man... *pepsi-pepsi-pepsiiiiiimaaaaannnnn*

Happy Vader's rating:

7.1

Road Rash - Sega Genesis and Mega Drive

Rating: 6.5/10 Stars

Having grown up playing the 3DO version of Road Rash, and having being used to the speed and surrealism that goes with it, I've always considered the other titles in the series to be inferior to the aforementioned. Take Road Rash Jailbreak for the PS1. It is cool, yes, but with hardly any solid gameplay to it. Road Rash 64 is fast and all, but too blocky and cartoony to be taken seriously. Playing this title, the original and first in the series, I still stand to my point that the 3DO's Road Rash is still the best.

With the title referring to the friction burn that occurs when the skin comes to contact with ground at high speeds, Road Rash is a racing game which sees you competing in illegal and violent street races. Since this also falls under the vehicular-combat category, expect a lot of punching and baseball bat smashing. Though of course that all can be avoided and simply finish the race without any violence, there isn't any fun in that, believe me. The main core of the series' is the violence, but mind you, not in that r-rated fashion. You just fall off your bike and, if you're unlucky enough, have another biker run over you.

Being the first title in the series and seeing it was 1991, I can understand the low frame rate. Having become accustomed to the smooth gameplay of 3DO, the almost lagging frame rate of this one turned me off. Not that it's too noticeable but it causes cheap accidents especially when you turn or have to avoid the oncoming vehicle.

Speaking of accidents, whenever you crash your bike, it triggers a quite spectacular animation of your player literally flying away from the bike. I really enjoyed it as it offered more realistic movements than the 3DO one.

The music, as some declare to be awesome, did not entirely win me over. Calling the music loud would be an understatement - it was if every amp in the world turned up to 11. I mean, loud is Motorhead; this was like a mega hammer hammering a nail in your head. Not to say it was the worst or anything but it didn't fit with the overall game. Honestly, I believe it belongs to a RPG.

In conclusion, Road Rash for the Genesis is a decent enough game - at least in my opinion. It indeed was fun playing the original, but I think I'll just stick to the 3DO and call it a day!

6.3

Marble Madness - Sega Master System

Rating: 8.0/10 Stars

Marble Madness gets the last half of its title right. It certainly is madness, navigating your marble ball through different lithographs by M.C. Escher. OK, not exactly, but the game's original designer, Mark Cremy, was inspired by Escher's artworks in the making of this game. The premise is simple; navigate your marble ball to the end, while avoiding enemies and obstacles.

But this ain't Crystal Castles and don't expect to collect power-ups along the way. With only 6 levels and 5 minutes of full gameplay, Marble Madness promises to be a fun time-waster but is instead a maddening hair-puller. The first 3 levels are easy enough. With considerable difficulty you can make it to the end. It is the last 3, however, that are difficult and can be done by only a fair few - or by someone who likes to save game every other 2 seconds.

I couldn't make it past level 4, so I had to watch YouTube videos of the other levels. I might give it another complete go some other time, but not in the near future. I mean, it took me 15 years (honest) to finish off the last level of SkyRoads; and I'm not going to spend another 15, or less, or more, years finishing off Marble Madness. I'm sorry but that's the way it's going to be.

Far from the Maddening Crowd? Hmph, Far from the Maddening Madness of Marble Madness more like...

Happy Vader's rating:

6.7

Forgotten Worlds - Sega Genesis and Mega Drive

Rating: 8.0/10 Stars

I was introduced to the main character, appropriately named Unknown Soldier 1, in Marvel vs. Capcom: Clash of the Super Heroes, where he appears as a helper character. I would always choose either Iron-Man or Strider as my main character and use the Unknown Soldier as my helper - because he could inflict serious damage.

Now, Forgotten Worlds is easily one of the coolest games on the Genesis. It's a horizontal shooter that actually has an understandable story, albeit written in Engrish! Set middel future in, Emperor Bios have destoroyed most of Earth and truned to a waste-land called "Dust World". Two soldiers create to ruin gods of false and destoroy ultimate strings puller.

Yea, something like that. Player 1 is the Unknown Soldier 1; a blonde haired, muscular Duke Nukem of this game. Player 2 is Unknown Soldier 2 (talk about creativity); a black, muscular, mohak-haired Mr. T of the sky. If you have a friend or sibling lying around, you can pick them up and invite them for intense two-player action. You know what I mean...

Anyway, your character(s) fly throughout the level. Since I see no jet-pack or any kind, I come to this conclusion that there must be impressive anti-gravity in whatever the world the game is set in. After all, you see floating heads, floating shops and floating beetles. The levels are very simple and nondescript, with just hints of challenge in them. The real threat, however, lies in the enemies. At first they only appear from the right side of the screen - that is to say from in front of you; but then they start appearing from the left side of the screen - that is to say from behind you; and that adds to the challenge and gameplay. The best bet is to hover in the middle of the screen.

The enemies themselves are standard, with few anachronistic touches of their own. In one level they shoot you with lasers; in the next with arrows. Though you can defeat them fairly easily, it becomes a problem when more than 5 fill the screen. The end bosses are huge, literally. Except for one or two. I had the same amount of fun fighting them as the Axelay bosses, and that is to say "A lot of fun".

In front of your flying hunk of muscle, there's a satellite of sorts which moves in correlation with your character. It doesn't serve as a shield but rather an extra weapon, which you can upgrade from the ubiquitous shop that appears once per level. It also doesn't shoot independently; when you start shooting, it starts shooting. And that's awesome! Probably the best non-animated side-kick in a video game ever!

With this inter-dependency, you and your non-talking weapon buddy can rotate in 12 directions, always clockwise. So if you made some serious upgrades to your character, I say unleash hell. The shop which I mentioned earlier is run by a very attractive female, who also happens to be the queen - or of some importance - of Earth. You can restore health, collect upgrades and even get tips on how to fight the current level's boss.

The music, on the other hand, wasn't as epic as the gameplay. Sure, it was somewhat cool, but it was also dreary and hollow. Not that I minded it much but it didn't fit with the overall game. It felt like as if Skrillrex or Daft Punk were stripped off of their toys and were given a child's piano to play with. Or Donkey Kong's drums. With only 1 stick.

In conclusion, Forgotten Worlds is a great game that although doesn't bring anything exciting to the table, is a fun experience. Surprisingly, what with all the Engrish flying around, it's also menacing in the dialogue department - "I'll finish you off today for sure"... awesome! No character talks so confidently like that nowadays!

6.8

General Chaos - Sega Genesis and Mega Drive

6.5/10 Stars

If Mega Lo Mania is the smallest and simplest title from its RTS genre, then General Chaos is the same in the RTT genre. But unlike Mega Lo Mania where you could navigate between maps/worlds and command a large number of army, in General Chaos you're given a chance to control either an army of 5 soldiers or 2 commandos. The commandos will be outmatched, naturally, but you will have a flexible control over them. Plus, the commandos inflict more damage. The soldiers will be equally matched but have different levels of power and range and may not always be in your favour.

You command General Chaos's small army, which are blue. After making the decision whether or not you want the soldiers or commandos, you're thrown into the battlefield the size of a medium hardback. The story is to rage war against General Havoc's army, the red ones, and take over the capital of Viceria.

Though the game employs cartoon violence and decent humour, it's not enough to even make you crack a smile. I'm torn between what to exactly call this game; too silly or too lazy. Either way, General Chaos is not a 100% entertaining game and for various reasons.

Your troops don't exactly follow your commands. If you assign a soldier to a specific area, sometimes he won't even go there. Also, you can't control the direction of where your soldier should shoot, so often-always they end up shooting completely the wrong way. I know, this is all supposed to be satiric and not to be taken seriously, but how can one expect to be entertained when his troops suddenly start acting like Lemmings?

During battle, if two opposing soldiers get too close to each other, a scuffle ensues. With only 2 basic attacks - kick and punch - it's either kill or be killed. But you know what, sometimes the enemy soldier won't die; at the last possible minute, he will fall down and shoot your player, thus adding the un to fair. You have to keep an eye out for the icons of your troops. If it shows the medic sign, simply hover your cursor over the body and a medic-soldier will appear. If it shows a skull, then he's dead - duh!

In conclusion, General Chaos is not exactly a fun game but it does have a good level of strategy in it that, once discovered, will keep you engaged for a short period of time. Had it had more diversity to it, then I think General Chaos could have been a very fun game. Sadly, it isn't!

6.1

Outrun 2019 - Sega Genesis and Mega Drive

8.5/10 Stars

There's something about futuristic racing games. Something sweet, something forbidden, something untouchable. Is it because of the implausibility? the fact that you can control the cool, the awesome, the impossible? get to drive unimaginable vehicles, drive in unrealized cities, engage in illegal activities? You know, the Rick Deckard in Batmobile cruising in a Mad Max post-apocalyptic world fantasy? But there's something even great, even more wondrous when a certain year is added in front of the title, especially if that year hasn't come up yet. San Francisco Rush 2049 is good example of this. So is OutRun 2019.

OutRun 2019 is pretty much in the same league as the original arcade classic of the same name, just minus the futuristic date. Eschewing the sunny, picturesque scenario for a darker, Gotham City utopia, 2019 plays like an angry young racer with an attitude. Easily one of the coolest titles in its genre, this game is all about the point A to point B. But like they say, the journey is far rewarding than the destination, and how truly that sums up this game as a whole.

Although not altogether impressive - the original one is still beautiful to look at - it's just that this one has attitude, a character, a I'm-watching-you feel over it. Every turn, every fall, every crash, every jump; the chip on your car's shoulder gets bigger. Just like the original, it's set in third-person mode, but unlike the original, 2019 doesn't have a crash animation - the very thing that made the original iconic. Instead, whenever your car comes in contact with anything, be it other cars or trees, it just does a quick 360 turn and continues as if nothing happened. It doesn't waste any valuable seconds, and neither do the overtaken cars overtake you. So basically, the game wants you to win. Though you can fall off the road, and that wastes precious time. I guess the excellent Cruis'n series were inspired by this one, as it also has a similar mentality, especially Cruis'n USA.

Moving on, the jet powered car you get to drive is hands down one of the coolest of all video game cars. It's the DeLorean of video games. The Ferrari Testarossa doesn't hold a candle to this Batmobile-DeLorean-Hot Wheels hybrid. Oh, throw in Gadget Mobile as well. The other vehicles curiously resemble the older Matchbox die-cast models and the caped crusader's car from the 90's cartoon series. If just from the back!

The music is another great factor. It had a good mix of garage, indie, and rock to it, with a little bit of grunge. At least in the version I had, as some of the videos on YouTube had different music. Anyway, OutRun 2019 is an impressive game, has great parallax scrolling with Mode 7, and if you mentally came to a conclusion that this game was a mix of the Atari 2600 racers, then you are in the right track. But better watch out for that fork in the road!

Happy Vader's rating:

Muhammad Ali Heavyweight Boxing - Sega Genesis and Mega Drive

6.0/10 Stars

I'm not really into sports, much less boxing. But I occasionally enjoy boxing movies - Rocky, Raging Bull, Million Dollar Baby, Ali and the like. Despite sports being my favorite past-time activity throughout my childhood - I'm talking hockey, basketball, football and cricket - I never cared much for them from my teenage era to now. Laziness and movies may have contributed a hand to my shying away from sports.

In Heavyweight Boxing, you get a roster of 10 characters, with 9 being fictional. So it was of no surprise when the titular boxer was in the number 1 spot. Those who eagerly watch boxing or have just about an inkling of what the sport is, know that it's intense, brutal, weak-falls-strong-wins, no-holds-barred punch and kick routine. But this being a 1992 release, pretty much everything is tame and restricted, but surprisingly enough offers solid gameplay... but just for a few minutes.

Repetition is not the cause here. It's the lack of strategy and the realization of the fact that the boxer with the most punches wins at the end. You get your basic hooks, jabs, punches, crosses and uppercuts. OK, OK, I had to look the terms up! You can block, but it lasts for about a second, so you need to get the timing correct. Unlike other boxing and wrestling games, in here you don't move by holding down the directional button to wherever you want to move. You have to repeatedly keep tapping it. I liked that, it have a tiny little boost of challenge and strategy.

The graphics in this game are OK, but you can make out the details. Like for example, when any boxer gets too many hits, his eye or cheeks get swelled up and you can see purple spots and red circles around the eyes. It may not be much but in a rather primitive game like this, these details stand out as impressive. You character has a speed and power bar that depletes by your movements and punches. The more lower it gets, the more groggy and slow your boxer becomes. It's not really noticeable but you will start to feel it after a couple of seconds, a minute probably.

Speaking of which, you get 3 minutes for every round. I don't exactly know how many rounds can this game hold; I only played it 3 times and every time I won/lose at the 2nd round. At the end of each bout, a very leggy blond appears on the ring, giving updates. In my opinion, the second best redeeming feature from the game. The first is the ubiquitous wolf-whistling from the audience!

When I played it for the first time, I picked Tommy Hammer (pictured) and fought Eddie Montague (also pictured). Despite giving the best I could, Eddie knocked me out in the second round. From the second time onwards I picked the G.O.A.T himself and whooped Eddie's sorry ass. Man, in his christmas green knickers and gloves that look like elf mittens, Ali was the dominating force in the ring. 145 punches, as opposed to Eddie's mere 25 punches.

In conclusion, Heavyweight Boxing is an OK game, good for some old fashioned, non-flexible experience. Don't expect to put hours and hours into this game, because frankly it doesn't ask for any. Hell, 3 minutes and you're just about done!

Happy Vader's rating: