Female Masterpieces: Heidi Klum

After years of cockteasing the many vulnerable souls of teenage boys like myself, Heidi has a lot to answer for. Just think of the unsated and vengeful weeners left in her wake - reeled in and spat out like they were nothing. I first saw this fine specimen on the millennial Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Show and was floored by her beauty. She is like a sweet innocent girl inhabiting the body of a goddess.