Post Apocalyptic Survival Kit 3 Pack [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC] Reviews

post updated as watched:

2019 - After the Fall of New York: yet another Escape from New York wannabe film in ultra low budget. we have an unwilling man, parsifal, who is forced to go into manhattan to find and rescue the only fertile woman in existence after a nuclear fallout. the group who sent him is planning to take her and a select few to a new planet to repopulate the human race. they send two other men to help him succeed; one who knows the city, the other a strongman (eventually we learn he is a cyborg). the city is ruled by a race of futuristic horse riding knights?!?! ok sure. its also infested with all sorts of infected humans which for some reason have distinct groups. parsifal finds the woman in a group of rat hunting infected people and then is immediately captured by the knights. upon which we learn she may not be the right woman and in fact isn't. he escapes this and ends up finding two other groups of peole; one a group of neanderthals ruled by a huge man called "big ape" and the other group is a group of little people. the little people have a small part here but its one of them who leads them to the Professor and his sleeping beauty daughter...the real fertile woman who has been...sort've...cryogenic preserved.
its mildly notable what happens along the way and at the end, but honestly everything is a bit under developed and a bit dispassionate. its hard to really care. that is not to say that its difficult to watch or bad. it is to say however that, what could have been a decent movie is sort've left to be ho-hum.
acting isn't too bad mostly. filming is ok. story is too little for the whole film. action is weak...including a really boring death match driving scene which plays into a later need to drive the girl out of manhattan through booby trapped tunnels. an equally dull moment.
all in all like every film in this set its entertaining although fairly mindless. its not good, though not bad. watchable, vaguely memorable, and lighthearted.
i liked it although most people will likely not appreciate it.
(5/10)

1990 - The Bronx Warriors: often considered part 2 of The Warriors for its cartoonish gangs and New York setting. Really it lacks far too much of the cleverness of Warriors to hold up to the original. I guess thats not unusual for a part 2 though. in truth it has no connection to Warriors and has a bit more in common with Escape from New York as others have pointed out.
a girl runs away from becoming the head of the Manhattan Corporation she is to inherit. she finds herself in a post apocalyptic Bronx ruled by gangs with unusually distinct desires to differentiate themselves through comic styles...ie a biker gang, an old car top hat sorta gang, a tap dancing gang, etc. ala Warriors. the main character, named Trash, is the head of probably the least consistently stylized gang that seems to have some inner power struggles. he, and our heiress, immediately fall in love...the love connection is probably the least believable thing in this movie and thats saying a lot! she's captured by the "king of the bronx" Ogre. and then we have a seemingly old russian type spy guy who is sent in to capture the girl and bring her back to the Manhattan Corp.
none of this plot stuff really means anything. its merely a stage for the movie to exist. the acting is awful. the action is worse...although lets give them credit for a tap dancing fight scene...wow! there is really nothing great about the movie. theres also nothing entirely cringe worthy. its mindless cheesy entertainment and thats it. i'm sure its an aquired taste and most people will hat this. i found it mildly entertaining and never considered turning it off. i was captivated enough to watch it through and wonder what was going to happen. yeah...thats ok. maybe just ok, but ok. and i'd watch it again.
(5/10)

The New Barbarians: aka warriors of the wastland. the third, last, and apparently worst of the films here. so yes, of course, i watched it first. to be fair i happened to just watch this on streaming (where the sound was out of sync with the movie by about 3 seconds...and i still watched it all!). i figured if this is the worst i should like the other two because its hard to say its bad because its not like i expected it to be good. it was obviously quickly made grindhouse sort've thing. and i didn't mind it too much. i watched. it wasn't great, but it was watchable. fair enough.
the immediate known world is destroyed by nuclear bombs. the survivors are huddled together in little 'tribes' trying to find others or places that weren't destroyed. its almost a subplot to the main action. one 'tribe' the templars are not interested in helping each other out as they are a cult bent on killing everyone before they reach the afterlife. as best as i can tell...its not really clear why they'd want to send people to any afterlife when its their own goal to reach the afterlife...but who cares...its simply a setup for conflict aka killing. the templars have nifty "we heard about what storm troopers looked like and made these outfits to dress up like them but missed the mark pretty badly" and they drive totally nifty madmax local hardware store supply fitted go carts with guns, grenade throwers, spinning blades and other weapons mounted to them in ways that would make them very difficult to use unless you had someone perfectly positioned in their direction. and so they attack a caravan of survivors and enter our hero/heros to save the day. the hero is an ex-templar who we learn didn't want to be a part of what is apparently a homosexual cult. can you guess why?! well yeah, because he's gotta get the girl for the love story..duh. and for whatever reason han solo...oh wait hans wasn't black...well he is here....lets just say the hero needs help and his help is a bow and arrow with bombs using ultra cool guy who also gets his own girl! yeah! there's a young luke skywalker...i mean kid that knows how to repair things too. blah blah blah hero gets caught, friends help him out, he gets revenge, etc and end.
nothing profound for sure, but enough to carry a light story for some action to happen. really quite average of a film. (5/10)


the dvd set: honestly for such cheesy films its surprising they made it to their own releases on dvd (each of these in the set can be bought seperately too). and even more surprising is the quality of these transfers. for such bad movies they have great quality images and sound. the voices on all are dubbed without the ability to choose the original languages; thats disappointing though i can't imagine that these would be any better with it truthfully.