The Thing Reviews

Just watched Nighthawks I thought was eventually a non-starter - but my God, this is some lame shit! Julianne Moore talks about some birds and other romantic shit like that. Stallone just listens and laughs. Antonio Banderas tries his best as a baddie, but they show too much of him all the time. I am surprised this turd of a movie was directed by Richard Donner. It is one of the lamest fucking Stallone movie ever. If I want to see romantic stuff, I rent Pretty Woman or Four Weddings and a Funeral. You don't see an action figure come to those movies and kill everyone. So, why Julianne Moore comes to this movie and kills all the fun?

In fact, I already saw this movie but since it was a while back and since I had it on DVD, I thought I might as well give it a 2nd chance. First of all, the whole thing actually definitely had some potential and it could have been a really neat action flick. Indeed, I always had a weak spot for movies about a hitman so to have 2 hitmen (one was basically a legend and the other one was a huge fan of this legend) was really good and it is a real pity that the end-result was so underwhelming. Indeed, Sylvester Stallone was not bad but his character should have been much colder and it was pretty lame that the guy would go soft and fall in love like this with his target. Then, I did like at first Antonio Banderas but he was acting so over-the-top that his character got on my nerves after a while. Eventually, the biggest problem was surprisingly with Julianne Moore. Indeed, while watching this movie, it was hard to believe that she would become a few years later one of the best actresses around. On the other hand, maybe we shouldn't blame her but blame instead her character who was probably one of the most unbelievable nerd-hackers I have ever seen. Seriously, the whole scene during which she was supposed to exchange a disk for some money was just seriously ridiculous. Anyway, to conclude,  the whole concept was really nice but it was really poorly developed and it turned out to be a rather weak action flick after all.

"I beat you to the buyers, and now I've beat you to the mark. I'm sorry, but I think I picked the wrong guy to be my hero."

Richard Donner delivers the goods as usual with Assassins; an entertaining, well-crafted action thriller that cannot be missed by fans of the genre. Naturally Sylvester Stallone is pretty close to his tough guy action hero. He can use a gun stylishly and he can kill in cold blood; however the body count is surprisingly low considering Sly's modest reputation for over-the-top action movies.

Stallone plays professional hitman Robert Rath who is considered the best at his profession. Over many years he has made a big name for himself for his stylish ways of fulfilling contracts assigned to him via electronic communication. Robert is now old and visibly past his prime; he wants out of the business no questions asked. After accepting a final job from his long-time employer, what follows is a manhunt as young hitman Miguel Bain (Banderas) starts hunting Robert with the intent of becoming the number 1 hitman in the world.

I won't spoil anymore for you, because then it just wouldn't be as fun with all the interesting (and surprisingly unpredictable) plot twists that lead to a very intense climax.

Stallone is at his usual standard here; sometimes the subtitles function looks very attractive during some of his dialogue scenes, and sometimes you just can't keep your eyes off the screen while he's carrying a firearm. Truth be told his dialogue isn't as unbearable as it usually is. Contrary to popular belief he puts determination and commitment into one of his roles. He may be type-cast as a typical single-note action hero and it's understandable. Stallone is quite underrated and has produced a bunch of action films that are decent slices of entertainment. One would never expect someone like Antonio Banderas to show up in a film like this. He plays his psychotic hitman role extremely well. Banderas is certainly much better than one would have initially expected. He's very dark, cool and well conceived. Julianne Moore is another surprising addition to the cast. Starring as a hacker, a very game Moore does what she can with a fairly mediocre screenplay.

The directing by Richard Donner is first-rate and high class: especially during the action scenes. This stellar directing is to be expected when one examines other films on Richard Donner's résumé. The man who gave the world the Lethal Weapon series uses his traditional Hollywood style: lots of blood, lots of action, lots of things blowing up.

The film was written in the days preceding The Matrix and hence The Wachowski Brothers hadn't yet made a name for themselves. The two brothers can write a good screenplay. It's filled with intriguing plot twists and exciting concepts for different action scenes. Of course these creative action scenes are given the visual royal treatment.

Overall, I found Assassins to be highly enjoyable and underrated. The film suffered lots of criticism and it still does. I, however, thought that it was a good mix of action and thrills. Granted this action film is long and tedious with a running time of over 2 hours, but the intense climax is worth every minute of the build up. Certainly worth seeing.