I, Zombie (Tomes of the Dead)

My name is John Doe. I've been dead for ten years. I have no heartbeat, no breath, no smell, just cold, clammy flesh mnimated by something I don't understand. So I sell my dead flesh to the highest bidder. If the price is right, I'll kill for you, steal for you, or save your life for you. There's no mystery you can't hire me to solve. apart from this one...