Bored of the Rings: A Parody of J. R. R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings

'Ah, yes. But I'm too old for that sort of thing now,' said the old boggie, feigning a state of total quadriplegia. 'Anyway, I have a few small gifts for you,' and he produced a lumpy parcel, which Frito opened somewhat unenthusiastically in view of Dildo's previous going-away present [the ring]. But the package only contained a short, Revereware sword, a bulletproof vest full of moth holes, and several well-thumbed novellas with titles like Elf Lust and Goblin Girl..."

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