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Well, first off, it’s hard to feel bad for Ryan Reynolds, knowing, as we do now, that bloody four years later he was going to be in “The Croods”, and get fed the line, basically: “Hey, I’m the First Boyfriend: and I invented something…. Humanity! I invented, Knowledge, even, and Truth….” (chuckles) Although what are actors and actresses but little sock puppets, of course.
But yeah: I was going to watch “Nacho Libre”, a third Jared Hess movie, so that I could wrap that up, right: I try to watch three by a director, to get a sense of them…. But yeah, I finished watching “The Craft”: and I was expecting the witches to be…. I mean, I guess I was expecting the antagonism felt for witchcraft to be goofy and fun: but it landed as very cold, bitter, enraged and alienated…. So after that, it just wouldn’t be fair to the Christian romantics of “Nacho Libre”, (yes, Virginia: there are Christian romantics….): I mean, you can’t go straight from one to the other, right. Which is sad, because “Napoleon Dynamite” seemed overrated, and “Gentlemen Broncos”, seemed…. Lewd, to put it, kindly…. It seems like Jared Hess tapping Jack Black to be a Fun Priest, or whatever, would be a good way to, yes have fun, but to kinda put the brakes on the whole Jared Hess thing of being, Ugly, Hyper-Male, and Lewd, right. But yeah: not today.
So yeah: supposedly this is a girl desperate for marriage bullying and dominating her younger partner, right. Who knows what it will REALLY be about, right. It’s still Hollywood. I’m sure we can crack a few sexist jokes, right. Of course the director is a woman—I’m going to take this and one other by this girl, and put it with “Promising Young Woman”, whose director I couldn’t find another DVD available by, and call it “Selected Women’s Cinema”, on LibraryThing, you know—but…. I mean, you never know: you really, NEVER know…. If you don’t know Anne: you don’t know how Anne balances a pay check vs. her “sisters” and “self-respect” and nebulous things like that, right…. Nebulous things like the truth, knowledge, humanity: lol.
…. (10 minutes) The opening sequence, what was it, opening credits, I guess: it was cute.
Mostly, it’s not cute. I mean: I don’t know. On the one side, there certainly are ambitious, individualistic white women who imitate all aspects of the trad ambitious, individualistic (leaders are ~always~ individuals, lol), you know, entitled white men—hard-working, competent, entitled: you name it, they can imitate it, right, if with less success, right. I mean, they can try, right: but it’s not going to be PERCEIVED the same way…. I mean, if some white male leader of society had an unappreciated female assistant in an Old Hollywood movie—I mean, she would have been very pretty, and a little sympathetic: but she would not have ~really~ been liked, right. She would not have ~mattered~, you know. She wouldn’t have been in the title sequence, maybe ~not~ even in a romance, right—introduce the male lead first: women come later, thanks, right…. And nobody would have been rooting for the white male leader of society to get kicked on his buttocks, right…. And if the white male leader of society had been flouted in public by the Indian guy, it would have been like: look at the out of control minority, the end, right. Here, you can almost hear people guffawing, the out of control minority versus the crazy bee: what’s not to like! (laughing until tears) Ah, the liberals: they’ve really won! It’s all over!
~Maybe not, QUITE, right….
And it’s like: a Canadian immigrant getting kicked out of the country—and a joke at a white person’s expense at what “immigrant” is “supposed” to mean, right: that’s fun, but…. It’s like she’s getting punished after being, outed as a liberal career woman, basically.
It makes you wonder if people don’t wonder if Chicanos getting unceremoniously manhandled by ICE or whatever, have also been “outed” as something, right. “Crime in Dems’ city”, right. (shrugs)
But yeah, it was cute for like, the title sequence, right.
…. (the titular ‘proposal’)
“Not real” doesn’t even begin to cover it. I can’t believe that even propaganda people can see this as even…. A movie, you know…. It’s like…. It’s like if they made a movie like, South Korea conquers Japan and China simultaneously, right: it’s like, no, bro: we making a movie. Not a little video on your iPhone, right. We makin’ a MOVIE…. Get your head in the game.
~You know, this is actually why Emily Henry wrote “Book Lovers”, you know.
(shakes head) It’s like…. Like, I don’t even know, you know, what you would call this. It’s like the Pravda or “The Triumph of Will” standard of truth, right: except, for rom-coms, you know….
…. (the ‘cherries on top’ proposal) It’s like, the whole thing is like: the key term is ‘illegitimate’, right. Women, liberalism, non-traditional relationships…. Maybe even Canada, right. All illegitimate.
I thought that Sandra Bullock was going to bully her partner, while the director practically cries on his shoulder, and wept the whole time: but it’s like, Ryan Reynolds has the power, right. He always has the sympathy: but he even has the power, right.
(hands to forehead) Just the audacity of sexism, right…. It makes you want to look up one of those old Forties romances: like, the girl wouldn’t give lip, and she wouldn’t get the time of day, really. If Ryan Reynolds were a woman secretary in the 1940s, his body would be found like, in the foundation of a skyscraper by accident, his unsolved murder attributed to the mob in a small speculative back-pages article, right.
He wouldn’t get to be smug, and riding high, you know. (shakes head) It’s like Anne is totally okay assuming I’m a moron and I like being lied to, just to get a paycheck, right.
The irony is beyond belief!
…. (30 min) The point of the film is that if Alaska invaded Canada by itself, Alaska would win: because God would be on their side. Jesus and Alaska are a majority, right.
And yeah: Ryan Reynolds has quite the mouth, right…. Which one is the bitch, again? You know, he was quite full of himself in “The Croods”, too…. How do people really see him, right?
…. (40 minutes) (a man’s father: a pillar of society and most worthy of respect, and: a blue-eyed blonde who is small-town yet probably rich, “appropriate”: the kind of girl that every Alaskan is entitled to: if only he follows the Lord’s teaching”, and at least two or three other major conformist-romance tropes, right…. God, it’s like Alaska got nuked by the commies, the world is so different, right! And to think that there’s a Kenyan Muslim in power, you know!)
It’s so entertaining to see how people look at the world, right, some people….
I feel fear, (for the state of the nation), pleasure, (to know the people), and it’s so…. Romantic (hierarchical). Fear, pleasure, romance…. What did they rate this, right?
…. “And I haven’t a soul to save: yes, and I sin every single day….” ~Coldplay
Sing every single day, right….
Translation: I am not Ryan Reynolds, right…. I’m sorry, Ryan. Not, very, sorry…. But a little.
(sighs) And I know that bad things can happen here too, but I’ve never felt so grateful to be sitting, waiting for my Classic Ch’kn Sandwich at the local vegan place, right….
…. It is a “funny” movie to have started watching. It does teach you about society, right…. Like, the “story about the proposal”, (I: the deal; II; the theater; III: the epic poetry, right), the point of that scene is to encourage people to be suspicious/inquisitive, when they hear others claim to obey society’s rules, you know: just like with Jewish and Muslim Spanish converts in the Middle Ages, basically, you know…. Like, what village gossip doesn’t want to be a cop, right? ~(waves) Sure, everybody knows Dear Leader Kim Jong Crazy’s favorite day of the week and time to take a nap, but do you know his favorite Christmas present from when he was seven…. No? Guards, guards! Arrest these people! They’re only pretending to conform to avoid punishment: you know the punishment for, THAT, don’t you? (villain cackle) Yes, that’s right—death!
(middle aged male “Disney” narrator voice over) Goebbels and Magda: A Love Story….
(serious Nazi father) Now you kids better shut the F up during the movie: it’s about our race!
(the kid throws a ball of snot the size of his fist at dad’s head)
“You better stop hurting our race, you little Red!”
(falling to pieces Nazi mom) (crying) Somehow it’s all my fault…. (falling apart)
~The executions will continue until the enthusiasm is hysterical, right…. Upon which time, the hysteria will be suppressed, with great violence….
…. It’s like: and what’s incredible is that movies and things like this were coming out during Obama’s presidency, and it was all part of a process that led to the mainstream white liberals looking at the world and breathing a sigh of relief: because obviously now oppression was over, and joy and freedom was triumphant over the face of the earth, right. It was time to go home and eat cake. It was time to go home and drink Kool-Aid. Or both, for additional pleasure…. (a particularly awful old “sugar” type song on the radio comes on) It’s like our whole culture is this thing where we’re sad, sex-starved (by our estimation!) Southerners on a crusader bender against feminism and for commodified sex (and Jesus!)…. Just without the accent, right…. It’s like, you pick up an additional interest in addition to all that: they literally complain to their beloved family, (their real family, right), that it’s not a literal, prosecutable offense, right…. But yeah: and Kool-Aid comes in two flavors now—the seed of a controversy: does your bedtime story make you doze off, with a satisfied knowledge that all true heroes get them some princess in the end…. Or does it make you scream bloody murder about witches and trolls, jump up out of bed, run past your mother and out the door, and out naked in the street, screaming as though you were on a bad trip, right….
…. (two random oranges—loose oranges—get in his way while he’s trying to get corn out of the back room into produce) Gah, citrus is the enemy, it comes from Red China! What can this be, if not the peril of the yellow reds! It’s literally, orange, people: the signs are all there, right….
~About as reliable as anything on TV, for the most part, right…. The radical white Christians will probably tell you that China Dance Opera, or whatever they call it, is the red peril, right…. (ALMOST the hue they’re worried about: SO close….)…. Even though probably half the songs are about Karl Marx being a closeted homo (and practicing black magician, right?), and the other half, about how to slay dragons during feudalism times, right.
As fun as that is, right.
But yeah: I really don’t subscribe to the obvious-materialist model of what counts as “realistic/non-mythological”, right. Don’t get me wrong: a lot of mythology is either delusive romanticism, quasi-fascism, or both. But yeah: it’s “realistic”, because there aren’t any sword fights with dragons? Yeah, I’ll be the judge of this whole “realism” thesis, thanks….
…. Romances are curious, though: it’s like, you can’t be invited to a rival’s military parade—no matter how many spin tricks they pull, right—without your intelligence service having a field day, right. You can’t struggle to establish societal “norms” with tipping the observant person off to their existence, right.
It’s literally like:
—Hi, I’m a male: this is my heterosexual partner, right.
—Oh good: you make a lot more money than she does.
—No: she makes more.
—I can’t deal with this. I knew the moon landings were fake: but this seems to imply, in addition, that earth is actually a spaceship and they could turn off the gravity, in order to win a gun fight. (bitterly) I guess this means that Jesus actually died when the soldiers’ broke his thigh bones, after all! (weepy eyes, then: hostile) I’m done talking with you: you’re crazy…. Your girlfriend isn’t American, mister: (eyes narrow) Or human. (sci-fi whisper) Watch your back. (glides away, starts talking with the French ambassador to Saudi Arabia in French)
~You think I’m making this up.
…. (Second sitting: up until “It’s a little different than New York, huh”: it’s like, I’m sorry, but that’s plagiarism: the Small-Town Good Girl Blonde’s Association of America is an American institution: and you didn’t get clearance to use that line….)
Although it was after a male strip dancer in a small town in Alaska made the NY girl uncomfortable, it’s like…. What is the intended line of propagandizing here? What are Big Brother’s intentions, right…. Was it like the country music, thrusting your genitals in the liberal snob’s face? Because they were missing the country music and the Nordic face: I don’t see…. It’s doesn’t make sense…. It’s like, ANYTHING, that hurts this girl is good: that’s the ONLY line of reasoning, right….
The father-son scene was interesting: not WELL done, but, not botched completely, right. Serviceable. After all, if you’re both white men and it’s a family movie: how do we decide? The secret of the Narnia plots, right: as long as everyone looks the same, we can attempt morality, right….
But yeah: it’s funny, before I got here, on the road: it was very ~male~ behavior, right: I would bet ~money~ it was a male: a bro-male, right: it wasn’t an over-controlled career harpy, or somebody’s mother from the mother club…. And it’s like, Why do we always make excuses for men, right? That’s like the POINT of the film industry. Fighting movies make excuses for, killer, dangerous, attack-y men: romances make excuses for…. Just, men-men, right…. Movies practically NEVER show girls as even…. As even, there, right…. They’re either a delightful decoration, or a problem, right…. It’s like, what’s the benefit? Do we enjoy letting men piss off all people around them? Do the men themselves benefit from being dragon-children-dogs, you know…. What’s the strategy, right?….
…. (Up to 1hr 7 min)
Wow, that was almost part of a documentary in the Akashic records, right: “Most Improbable Hollywood Sex Scenes”
And he’s constantly downing her for being weak, trying to humiliate her: I’m surprised he doesn’t punch her in the gut, right….
The fight between the older couple was pretty true to life: women get angry; they just don’t do anything about it, right. “You’re the leader: but I’m not satisfied with your legislative record! Pass some more bills, dammit!”….
Let’s see: and a woman humanizes herself by playing 20 Questions with the man she intends to marry, which must include an incident of remembering being made to cry by a minority male….
And a man’s female relatives exist in order to force his prospective mate to take pity on his sexual needs, right. After all: THEY like him: and aren’t THEY women-children, as well, right….
(shrugs) It’s not a good movie: although crap like this can beat driving, sometimes, at least, no?….
…. That one scene was really weird. I mean, I can imagine the Alaskan id dispensing with the Law of Moses and the Prudence of Paul, right, that’s easy: and I can sorta imagine them wanting this Michael Jackson stripper to supplement—to frame, I guess: the “I’m just a trivial girl who just likes living in the heart of whiteness and snow and being a small-town blonde”, right—and I can SORTA imagine them wanting the bride to get a, male, Michael Jackson stripper, as like payment to continue patriarchy: an emergency payment, right…. But she doesn’t respond, right. Grandma urges her on: but she’s shy. She doesn’t value men’s sexual expression, right…. It makes it seem like the whole thing is nothing but just an elaborate: “and if weird shit that didn’t happen when we first colonized the land can happen in ~Alaska~, then, (eyes roll all the way into the back of his head) Don’t tarry long, Je-sus….” [Illicit sex as point of pride/political conformity, not, you know…. God, imagine if we didn’t KNOW, as a point of ~Faith~, right: that “it’s a little different from New York, huh”?…. Right: some NYC punk band singer’s sex life is part of his political expression, you know?…. But here in Alaska, it’s like…. Religious expression, you know: because resistance to feminism IS religion: SO different, the two different North American states, right, Alaska and New York City….]
(shrugs) Still unexpected, right. Like the standard country lyrics about a boy with a broken heart name-dropping a Southern state: but this time they actually put it in a minor key, like…. Huh. Wouldn’t have called that, right.
Propaganda certainly changes, right. I don’t know if minor key use in country music has changed, but…. Sometimes, the sell changes, right, in certain things. Who knew, right. Who knew.
…. The family is sure a peculiar institution though, right:
—I can’t let you live your life the way you want. You have to give me a son to give the business to for after I die and you die.
—Wait: so, you spent years and years serving your community and fulfilling your needs—but it’s all void and useless, unless when all’s said and done, you can give all the proceeds to some random person you haven’t even met yet, and who’s done nothing to deserve it?…. What: because you’re really a spy from Hades, right? Gotta make the Earth kingdom think they’ve got an ally up in here: then, slap em with the chaos! Slap em like you’d slap your woman!
~Slap em with a silly-strange institution….
…. Let’s see: I think 40 minutes left on this, and I’m calling it: it’ll be the “it’s not a deal, deal” (how could we have capitalism without stigmatizing money, right? Boggles the mind: I can’t even understand why we’re having this conversation!), so yes: I, the Lord of Life and Death, do hereby deign to deliver you from the Pit/small forest (where you wandered without your phone, as per the plot, right), and in exchange…. You will do as I ask. You will be suitably grateful. These are words that go together well: my…. What was your name again?….
Whatever: you work for me now…. I’ll only execute you if you and the other slaves don’t complete the Pyramid of Frank Capra on time, okay? (does ‘ok’ hand) Cool beans. Which would be your job, by the way: everything bean-related, and associated arts and sciences…. Remember you wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t delivered you from the Pit, you know?
…. Wow, people tagged this ‘vegetarian’. Nice. Vegetarians are Canadian feminist foreign people who need to, stop eating healthy and being kind to animals, and just go to church…. And have sex. Not at the same time, but: you know. Schedule it. Put it together. Make a plan, Stan. Okay.
…. Wow: okay, we must mock indigenous earth spirituality. I wonder what people raised in Japan would make of a Catholic Church service—in any language—if they just got tossed in, without any knowledge of Christianity, right.
Just saying….
It’s so weird how a woman (director) did this to another woman (the actress), for money, for silver, basically, for status: and the message of the show is…. Right? That’s authenticity, kids. Getting someone else to take the fall for your choices: those are, American values. I mean, why not? Read a history book, right?….
…. Wow: I like my projected propaganda better: this is…. Wow.
…. It’s funny how trad women have to introduce every separatist episode by reinforcing the “fact” that men just “naturally” have contempt for women: you know. Deep down. “Girl stuff. You hate girls. Stay away…. Even though I can’t fight you: I’m weak!…. So, don’t make me angry: ok?”
…. Ah: was I right?…. Was I right?…. lol: sooner or later, every male capitalist pig must have his day, right….
…. Who do you hate more: Canada…. Or the Feds? It’s both/and, America! Both/and! Okay! USA! USA!….
…. Wow, it’s like: we gotta drag a bride through the mud in a church…. If that’s what it takes to take this country back from Canada and Feds and the feminists: we’ll mock a bride at a white wedding, right?….
…. Wow, codependent granny, right: extracting death-bed promises, right…. If you have to die to guilt your family: it’s a small price to pay, no…. Or lie, lie for your family, right. Lie to control your family. And defeat communism. And Canada.
…. It’s like the white people zoo, you know.
…. Wow: I called it—visit the white people at the zoo, right.
…. (male/bro voice) “Show her who’s boss, Andrew!”
And that’s the movie….
I wasn’t expecting full personhood for women, right. But I was expecting, like, 3/4, right….
This is TRULY unappealing….
America to the bride, America to the bride. If you want to get MARRIED: consider yourself, fair game, to get: ~humiliated~.
We put the collective first, right. Can’t spell “capitalism”, without, without….
That’s not true.
Hey, hey. Play ball, okay?
