TMNT

I was exactly the target age for a rebooted Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle franchise that wasn’t explicitly kiddie back in 2007. I know I’ve watched this movie at least twice, each time thinking I hadn’t seen it before only to realize I had but forgotten practically all of it. That about summarizes things, really.

At least a vague prior knowledge of the material is required as it wastes no time in reintroducing the characters well into their vigilante life. April is even in on the action game as we’re introduced to her adventuring somewhere in Central America, and she brandishes a sword in the climatic fight. Vague plot details punctuation between the action scenes only long enough to get us from point A to point B.

Shredder is long gone, but the Foot Clan is still around and being led by Karai. She’s working for an immortal businessman who wants to go back to morality, but he needs to capture thirteen monsters and sacrifice his reanimated monstrous siblings. The turtles, of course, are all that stops between humanity and total destruction if they could just stop fighting long enough and get it together. They do, naturally, as this is not a film that is seeking to reinvent the wheel but merely reanimate a franchise. In short: forgettable cinematic junk food that attunes itself towards your childhood nostalgia.