Star Trek: Voyager Reviews

I'm just going to come out and say it: Voyager sucks, and we all hate Janeway....and trying to make us feel guilty about that, will, not, help....anybody.

It's not like the other shows are perfect. But...they had some things. Kirk may have been a bit of a goofy blowhard, but....at least he was, you know, a goofy blowhard. And even say, the Spock vs. McCoy thing, while obvious, does work a lot of the time. And, you know, there's a reason it got cancelled after like, four seasons, not least because the effects--oh! the swirling pink gas! It's an alien intelligence!--is defs made-in-the-1960s, back when Wal-Mart had about twenty stores, spread throughout Arkansas and Missouri...

But, they made movies, because we love Kirk. And we love Picard, too, even though he's kind of a crazy old man who thinks that Shakespeare is still alive and performing plays for Queen Victoria....

But, you know, it's like--"Here's. To. The Finest Crew In, Starfleet!!...Engage!"

And the finest crew in Starfleet is totes the Victorian post-modern commie pinko manor-house rule-of-law-and-Shakespeare Enterprise dudes.

These Voyager dudes, they just...got lost in Canada...and then pretended that that made them better somehow. And, of course, **you can't hate Janeway**. And, why? Because....everyone hates her.

And, let's try to get a grip, guys, if your girlfriend wants you to stop being a Trekkie freak for five minutes so that you can pretend that you don't neglect all things feminine, then the thing to do would be to watch "The Time Traveler's Wife", or, better yet, "Amelie", and preferably without nagging her about accents aigu and *grave*.

Or even, "Galaxy Quest".

Because, let's face it: Captain Shrew will not do it for you.

And, if they were going to get lost in the Fako Quadrant fifty thousand light years from the nearest gas-station--i.e., yes, this is the *very dramatic* performance*--they could have ruffed the guys up a bit, like they do in BSG, instead of giving the Voyager a parade-ground paint-job every week, even if half of the ship had been destroyed the week before.....But, like RDM says, if you're criticizing stuff like that, it means you've lost the characters. And boy, did I ever.

And, you know, the fact that they didn't *really* want to do a drama, (too icky), means that they...shouldn't have been so damn dramatic about it. (Oooo, but then I would be *different*, and I have to be *the same*, this way I can be *better than you*....the best ice-hockey dude...ever!)

Yeah, maybe they just should have stranded Janeway in the Loser Quadrant....without the ship. All by herself.

After all, ships are valuable; you need them to fight floating boxes. ;)

...........

"Because if you know if you go holding pictures of Chairman Mao
You won't get anywhere with anyone anyhow."

The more I think about it, the less good that I have to say about it.

No, really, if you military guys want to have a revolution-- then lets get those Occupation turds in here-- Occupation: Discovery.... or whatever the hell they called the ship!

Because you say that you changed a whole hell of a lot, but I still see you putting on a uniform and a gun every day of your life.

"You say you want to change the constitution--
Well, you know
We'd all like it of you'd just change your head"

And then I won't tell them the things that you used to say, right here....

Because Star Trek knows just whose pockets it pilfers from, and I think this is a pretty poor price to put on what it destroys....

{And, yes, they all would have been dead on 'Galactica', by about the third week, at the rate they killed people off.... Imagine.... But what I mean is, there's just something amazingly hypocritical about it, it's not just ordinary hypocrisy at all, there's really something amazing about it.... Slap a peace sticker on the side of the warplane, and all of a sudden the bill's on my side of the ledger.... Ah, excuse me?}

Is this what you call 'persuasion'....

Well, you know....

Fuck you.

Because the only contribution I'll be making is to somebody or something that doesn't make this world colder....

And you know that I won't be showing up with anything but flowers....

And maybe not for you.

.... Well, you know

Nobody really likes you.

And to cheer on all those brass knuckles just because you're standing in the same room with them....

Well, you know.

Imagine that.

..... And you all act the same way with everyone, no matter where you go.

And you won't get anywhere with anyone anyhow.

(6/10)