The Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior Reviews

The realm of direct-to-DVD tends to be the location where awful, low-budget movies proceed in an attempt to acquire some success - or where unworthy sequels go to die. However, there are some movies within this realm that sneak in some degree of merit. Said merit is not to say that they're good per se - at least not in a Hollywood blockbuster sense - but they're generally so terrible that they're fun to watch. This variety is also good if you're searching for a flick to watch with tonnes of beer while a congregation of friends gather around to have a decent laugh.
The Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior is one such addition to this category. The film is so awful that it's fun to laugh at. The historical inaccuracies are just awful, the world of physics is completely ignored and the continuity issues are a mess. There's also below average acting (The Rock was replaced by the kid that played Blue Ranger!), poorly rendered CGI that isn't even remotely up to the task, sets that feel like sets, and worst of all a lack of ethics surrounding the production (I mean it's a prequel to a prequel to a sequel for crying out loud!!). The film does nevertheless earn the dubious, albeit substantial praise of being superior to its predecessor. It's also better than Rob Cohen's awful The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (also released in 2008).

The Scorpion King 2 essentially fleshes out the back-story of The Scorpion King: a character that appeared briefly in The Mummy Returns in 2001 as well as featuring in the spin-off adventure The Scorpion King in 2002. Both prior embodiments of the character have been courtesy of pro wrestler The Rock, a.k.a. Dwayne Johnson. Understandably, The Rock chose to not return for this prequel.
In this film, young Mathayus (Copon) is son of renowned mercenary Ashur (Butler) who is tasked with defending the current emperor. But Ashur is double-crossed and is mysteriously murdered by a black cloud of smog (nice to see the black smoke from Lost being given a cameo appearance). Now fatherless, Mathayus is carted off to an academy to train with the Black Scorpion army. Years later he returns, reunites with childhood flirtation Layla (David), and wishes to exact revenge on the man who killed his father. Unfortunately for Mathayus, his father was killed by the powerful Sargon (Couture). Apparently (this contemptible line actually appears in the movie) "everybody knows that Sargon sold his soul to the Gods in exchange for black, magical powers."

Let's get the positives out of the way first. The film flaunts some competent filmmaking. Russell Mulcahy, who directed Highlander and Resident Evil: Extinction, puts forth an adequate feast of visuals. But his direction is far from perfect. The directing/editing collaboration is rubbish. More on that later...
Another positive is the set design. If you can ignore the glaring anachronisms and the appalling sense of continuity, there are a number of elaborately designed sets. However the sets do feel like sets very frequently. They seldom feel like the genuine article. Just like the Mummy flicks and the first The Scorpion King film, there is never a sense of amazement or marvel.
The only other good thing to mention would be the music by Klaus Badelt. This is a composer who created the great music for the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. He must have been in desperate search of a pay-check to agree to be involved here. His music is sensational, but he's let down by other things. What a waste!
It's also worth mentioning that it's so bad to the point that it's a tad fun. You'll enjoy mocking the disreputable filmmaking being offered.

Now onto the list of negatives: as I mentioned previously, the directing/editing partnership is dreadful. The continuity is rarely maintained, and the action scenes are frequently hard to watch. Like there's an appearance of the Minotaur. Funny thing is that the film is set in Egypt and the Minotaur existed in Minoan mythology! They never do research for these direct-to-DVD fares, do they? The Minotaur attack looks incredibly unconvincing. Special effects are abysmal and the approach of shaky cam with fast cutting is highly irritating.
The glaring anachronisms are distracting as well. One character explains that he's travelling to Egypt to see the pyramids. The 2002 Scorpion King movie was set before the age of the pyramids! There is also use of modern dialogue. There's never an attempt to make the characters seem like they're from the period they've been placed in. For example, there's a character with the familiar name of Aristotle (Quarterman). This Aristotle character isn't the famous philosopher: in fact he describes the philosopher as a "hack". Seriously...WTF?!

There's also the matter of a girl fighting in a combat championship. When it's discovered she's a woman, she's told to leave. Good God, wouldn't they check who's fighting before the combat commences?! There is zero brains with zero wittiness. All the supposedly witty dialogue goes to waste because it's so impossible to believe a word of it. And of course, no action/adventure flick is complete without the customary betrayal followed by finding out that this betrayal is in fact bogus to throw off the central villain. So predictable, so clichéd, and so incredibly stupid!
As if rubbing salt into open wounds, the final 30 minutes is when things turn messier. If you think you had it bad before, you won't believe what the filmmakers have in store for us for this final showdown. First of all, there's oil being lit that will burn the crowd. Funny how there are 4 thin rivers of oil, and two characters are able to stop the spread of it while fighting off enemies. The trail of oil conveniently burns really slowly. This scene is annoyingly edited together with Mathayus fighting the big bad villain that transforms himself into an invisible giant scorpion! You know the budget has gone to shit when the special effects budget doesn't stretch far enough to include a full CGI creature for the final showdown. Adding further insult to injury, the invisible scorpion's final moments are when he's splattered by some kind of paint or something so Mathayus can see it. This makes the thing look like it's a creation of Windows 95 or the first skeletal rendering of a video game creation. It makes you feel embarrassed to be watching this.
Furthermore, the battles are quite tame and bloodless to attain the blessed PG-13 rating. With a bit more blood and a bigger budget we could have had a guilty pleasure on our hands. But with this PG-13 rating the battles look so weak. It amuses me to think that the PG-13 rating was for as much profit as possible. Yet it's direct-to-DVD so profits are already going to be astronomically low. The tamer rating is not going to make a difference. The action scenes are so weak and underwhelming due to the limited budget and the pathetic "invisible scorpion" makes the CGI creation of The Rock as half human and half scorpion (these special effects were berated by director Stephen Sommers himself) look incredible in comparison.

Look, The Rock is not an Oscar-worthy actor but he possessed some form of charisma in the first film that saved his performance from total disaster. And face it: he could kick some ass. He was the only redeeming feature of the original film. Michael Copon is an awful replacement. This kid played Blue Ranger for crying out loud! He's there as eye candy and nothing else. His lines are wooden and poorly written.
Karen Shenaz David appears as the childhood flirt of Copon's Mathayus. She's fairly contrived as well.
Simon Quarterman brings some degree of charm to his role with a crisp accent and a likeable screen persona. Not great by any means, but rises above the set standard.
Randy Couture is another pro wrestler given a shot at acting. He's quite terrible as well. His character's black magic is tragically out of place in a swords-and-sandals epic.

The first few scenes of The Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior make one thing perfectly clear: it was funded and made to cash in on the success of the third The Mummy film. The Scorpion King 2 is at least better than its predecessor and the third Mummy flick...this is still a faint praise because what wouldn't be?! This is another key example of an attempt to capitalise on a successful franchise and make a quick buck. The low budget is painfully obvious and it detracts from the entertainment value. To make matters worse, it runs for 110 minutes! You probably won't be bored as you laugh at the appalling filmmaking (one of the film's limited merits), but you sure as hell won't be impressed. It's filled with plot holes, inaccuracies, ridiculously unbelievable scenarios, and it destroys the continuity of the series. Only those who seriously love the first film will have any reason to give this one a shot.
Unfortunately this is a case of money over quality. I mean, the studio was so cheap they hired the guy who wrote Speed 2! It was only the fourth movie of screenwriter Randall McCormick, so he was probably a very cheap option. The rest of the film suffers from this cheapness as well.

4.1/10