The Watch Reviews

Honestly, I wasn’t expecting much from this flick but with a cast including Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn and Jonah Hill, I still had to watch it at some point. Well, right from the start, the whole thing sounded really ludicrous so it seemed that it was completely doomed from the start but, eventually, the main issue was in fact that they mixed up this wacky concept with a straight R-rated comedy and a really standard and boring alien invasion plot. That was just so wrong and they couldn't have chosen a worse way to handle this. I mean, if you go for something stupid like this, then, go for broke then and make something completely insane. But since it is a commercial Hollywood picture, they just gave us some glimpse of what it could have been and, instead, you just got some rather underwhelming characters going through the motions. I mean, I’m not saying that it could have been great, it was a tough sell anyway, but the way they handled the whole thing was seriously pathetic. And what was that about one of them being an alien?!? That was totally f*cking random like ‘sorry, guys, we are kind of stuck here so let’s make one of them being an alien so he explain the whole thing in a few sentences so that we can speed up the whole thing in the process’. To conclude, it could have been worse but it could have been much better so I don’t think it is really worth a look.

"We are among you!"

2012's The Watch is a wasted opportunity, plain and simple. With a majestic cast like this, the film seems like a can't-miss prospect, but instead you'll spend the entire picture waiting for it to take off and cut loose in uproarious ways...only to realise that the moment will never arrive. The Watch is completely middle-of-the-road and unremarkable from start to finish, rendering it boring and underwhelming. It's seriously deflating to see The Watch unfold on-screen, spotlighting a cavalcade of talented people all performing with humiliating desperation. The stars here all want to make you laugh, yet it would seem that they have forgotten about how exactly to achieve this end.

In a small Ohio town, Evan Trautwig (Stiller) is a model citizen who manages the local Costco and coordinates local activities. Following the vicious death of a Costco security guard one night, Evan believes a killer is on the loose, and decides to start a neighbourhood watch group. The idea barely catches on, however - it only attracts loudmouth married man Bob (Vaughn), lonely wannabe cop Franklin (Hill) and Brit outsider Jamarcus (Ayoade). Initially, Bob, Franklin and Jamarcus refuse to take the group seriously, using their get-togethers as an excuse to drink beer and have fun while Evan struggles to whip his volunteers into shape. It isn't long before the foursome discover that an alien invasion is unfolding in their own backyard, with extraterrestrials having ingratiated themselves into everyday society as they plot the destruction of humankind.

This premise should have yielded a fun Ghostbusters-style sci-fi comedy, but the film never shifts out of the first gear. Oddly, the comic timing and delivery is way off, and the picture often goes for cheap laughs and crude humour rather than coherent storytelling or anything approaching wit. The script (credited to Jared Stern, Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg) is stuffed with obvious red herrings, clichéd personal problems and underdeveloped characters (Franklin and Jamarcus are particularly short-changed). Added to this, The Watch feels like it was made up on the spot, with the gifted actors frantically mugging for laughs and dropping tonnes of vulgarities in an attempt to overshadow the lack of hearty belly-laughs. Topping this off is eye-rolling product placement for Costco and 3-D.

The Watch is the second directorial undertaking for Saturday Night Live veteran Akiva Schaffer, who previously directed the uneven but sporadically amusing Hot Rod. To his credit, Schaffer's mise-en-scène is smooth and the technical specs are competent, but the whole film feels incredibly flat due to the lack of worthwhile humour. This is not to say the film is completely bereft of amusing moments since there are a few good laughs here and there, but a typical evening YouTube surf would yield more entertainment. And YouTube is free. We deserve a lot more from a major motion picture which cost tens of millions of dollars to produce, and which you'll have to pay $10 to see. It's great that Fox permitted The Watch to be R-rated, but it seems as if the filmmakers used the rating as an excuse to be lazy. Several PG comedies have been far cleverer than this.

Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill and Richard Ayoade are somewhat of a comic dream team, so it's a shame that The Watch pretty much squanders the talents of all four performers. A line-up like this deserves a far better, wittier script to match their skills. Stiller is especially dreadful here; he just relied on his trademark neurotic screen persona. Meanwhile, Ayoade is a total missed opportunity. The spirited British comedian is a hoot in The IT Crowd and Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, and he genuinely deserves a successful film career. The Watch wastes him completely, relegating the talent to a bland background role with no memorable laugh lines or, indeed, any chances for him to show what an amazing comedic talent he is. This is all the more deflating considering that most Americans have never even heard of Ayoade, and The Watch is a slipshod way to introduce him. The film's only real acting bright spot is Will Forte as a local cop always giving the boys a hard time. Everything Forte does - every line and facial expression - is roll-on-the-ground hilarious, and the actor infuses the film with an irresistible spark of comic energy. Unfortunately, he's not present in any great capacity, and his efforts here only remind us how much we need a sequel to the underrated MacGruber.

Taken as fluffy entertainment on a rainy afternoon when you have nothing better to do, The Watch may be somewhat satisfying. It's never excruciatingly awful or unwatchable; it's just painfully mediocre.

5.1/10

“I will get your name in due course”

Vaughn, Stiller, Hill: three HUGE comedic names, all of which I’m a big fan of. Add an interesting, somewhat funny Englishman to the mix (I now know who he is; Richard Ayoade. Back then, I hadn't a clue. Thank you, Caboose!), and you have the Neighborhood Watch. If you were as dumb as I was, you’d expect the above contributors to add an extra spark to the comedy genre, as well as a somewhat refreshing, humorous experience to boot. Trailers and clips alike boosted the films excitement value, to a point where I was seriously looking forward the ‘The Watch’, laughing a little each time it appeared on television.

In an unfortunate turn of events, the ensemble cast of comedic studs, are all extremely dry. The quote at the top is perhaps the funniest line in the entire flick, and guess what, the big three have nothing to do with it. Ben Stiller, is, I hate to say it, the absolute worst of every actor here. I adore his on-screen presence in everything he’s ever appeared in, so I actually felt somewhat sad during this. None of his dialogue, with the exception of a scene of him humming some sounds, works on any level. On a positive note, Vince Vaughn shows he can still provide some laughs, however you won’t be shocked at that revelation, as he plays the same exact character as always. That doesn’t change my love for him, though. Jonah Hill has some OK bits, but overall is very underutilized.

One of the biggest problems of the film is the absolutely lethargic storyline. Everyone, save some young viewers, will most likely find themselves bored half way through, perhaps even sooner. There just isn’t nearly enough interesting going on. I saw desperate actors yearning for their paycheck, which is shown very clear here. If the storyline, of four adult men defending their small town from an alien invasion, was perhaps differentiated with a different ensemble cast, comedic gold could’ve been made. Look at ‘Attack the Block’ or ‘Shaun of the Dead’. Two well-done horror-comedies, also two movies ‘The Watch’ should’ve learned from before production. Going back to the story, which has lately been utilized a lot, with thoughts of the apocalypse looming, seems kind of like a backdrop in this flick, opposed to a full fledged plot line. You are only vaguely introduced to the actual aliens, with the exception of a few scenes. In addition, every scene featuring said aliens, are all portrayed with such carelessness, bordering on unintentional hilarity. It’s a major disappointment, seeing as each actor has loads of talent, and the story in itself had the opportunity to really work.

To conclude, ‘The Watch’ is one of the biggest letdowns so far this year. I had high hopes for it, rushed to the theatre on opening day, and walked out with a feeling of complete emptiness. Its almost sickening to think just how different it could’ve been. Having said all of that, some of the movie is very watchable. Its just outweighed by the negative.

4.7/10