Top 10 Goriest Ways to Kill Zombies
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And just remember, these are zombies that are trying to mess up your home, you need to turn them into a mess! A very messy mess!
Probably not the best choice for taking on an entire horde of zombies in your garden, but ideal for that lone walker who wanders through the gate and has lost all his flesh munching buddies! Tie him up with the hose pipe and get to work on giving him a face lift. Both electric and manual do the trick, depends how far in the apacolypse is and if you still have power...
Time to prove to that show off across the street who clipped his hedge into a massive squirrel who really has the skills with the clippers. You remember on GTA when you shot someone at close range with a sniper and a fountain of blood would spray out, well if you snap the clippers hard enough there’s a similar effect, so sit back and enjoy your new ‘water’ features.
(Donald Duck tellin' dem zombz)
Not exactly an everyday tool I have to admit but a wood chipper is a pretty nasty weapon if strategically placed and is potentially very messy. Here’s what you do; trick a group of zombies onto the garage roof, having already placed the wood chipper on the drive way, then you have to jump to safety and whip on your rain coat as there’s about to be a shower. Zombie’s aren’t exactly Olympic jumpers and so should fall straight in, creating a new paint job for the entire neighbourhood and completely plastering their windows with blood, and if they don’t fall directly in, then a good shovel poke should knock them in. Better hope the window cleaner is due today.
Weed Whacker or Bone Saw
A Weed Whacker is one of the most brutal and mess creating methods to put down a zombie and so you should save it for one of them that has created annoyance for you in life and death, take your now flesh eating, former douche bag, boss for example. Definitely not for facing a group of flesh munchers, another item from this list may be required for that!
Raid your wife’s bag, borrow her keys, abseil down the washing line, get into the garage and start running over some zombies! It’s you who’s going to have to wash it later anyway so get that bonnet and them wheels covered in obliterated-zombie gore. Enjoy the sound of their heads exploding under the wheels as you go for a very stress relieving drive around the block.
Apparently the boot door of the car can also be used. When you stop to refuel you need to keep yourself safe, so leave a chicken sandwich on the backseat and when the first zombie comes over sniffing slam it down right on it's head to create a blood fountain.
(Thank you Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead for sharing that one)
Time to start swinging! A pretty standard essential for any zombie apocalypse, doesn’t take any preparation or maintaining, well you may have to wipe off the zombie eye balls and pieces of brain ever now and then. Since they are essentially rotting flesh, if you hit a zombies head hard enough, in just the right place, it should fly right off and smash straight through the neighbour’s window, which should encourage them to return all that stuff they borrowed and never bothered to bring back. Once you’ve mastered your aim, go for power and knock one out the park.
A few short modifications (an engine upgrade if you have time) and it’s ready to get your lawn back in shape, covered in decapitated zombies that is. Zombie intestines and blood splatters will cover the garden, but at least you don’t have to walk anywhere.
Meat Cleaver, Sword or Knife
It’s time to get your hands really messy. Do a Butch from Pulp Fiction and keep searching the shelf until you find that samurai sword you ‘only have for decoration’. Flying drop kick the first zombie you see and get into the midst of the horde, then all you need to do is use your Kill Bill worthy skills to take out the rotting scum with the rest of the trash. Of course some of aren’t lucky enough to have our samurai swords yet, so the meat cleaver and carving knives will do for now, it’s bound to get messy! (Vegetable knife in the back pocket for last resort backup).
Molotov Cocktail (or Frag Grenade)
This method is great for students, all you need to do is grab one of the many empty beer bottles you have lying around, fill it with gas/petrol, use one of your odd socks as the wick and whip out your favourite lighter, oh and make sure you have a decent throwing arm too, you don't want to get caught in the zombie fireball! Of course if you have a frag grenade lying around, that works a little better...
Claimed the number two spot, the no need to get your hands dirty shotgun. Make sure it's pump action if you plan on taking out more than two in one sitting! Very affecting for sending a zombies head flying over to the next street, if there's anything left of it. When the zombies smell a fresh ball of brains hurtling over their heads, they'll chase it, giving you time to regroup, grab a beer and stroll over for some target practice on the distracted zombies.
The chain saw is the number one method of making a gorefest out of the wretched brain eating scum threatening your home, probably the most stress relieving method too. You'll get to experience the great power of wielding a bone crunching, flesh tearing and blood splattering steel machine as you redecorate the entire neighbourhood. Since the chainsaw won't leave much of the zombies in tact, the leftover mess can probably be used for fertiliser on your garden.
Follow this list for the goriest ways to get revenge on a zombie using the objects you use everyday!
To see some zombie killing in action, check out: The Walking Dead Gifs
Method ideas taken from here and listal members.
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