Unappreciated Genius of Uwe Boll by Amazon "fans"
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House of the Dead (2003)
The movie was horrid. Downright horrid. Why this man was allowed to direct more movies is beyond me.
The only worthy thing that this movie was good...Was the DVD menu. Very flashy and video game like - showing the characters and profile stuff. Thats it.
As reviewed by C.Silvia
The only worthy thing that this movie was good...Was the DVD menu. Very flashy and video game like - showing the characters and profile stuff. Thats it.
As reviewed by C.Silvia
Mr. Lays's rating:
Uwe Boll is often considered to be the world's worst director, so going into this film, I expected it to be terrible, and I was pleasantly surprised when it wasn't. "Heart of America" is about a Columbine High style high school shooting, with the majority of the film focusing on the motivations of the killers (no one actually gets shot until about 15 minutes before the credits). Although this is far from being a perfect film (it is of about the same quality as your average lunchtime movie and none of the characters are remotely likeable), the writer and director demonstrate a reasonable understanding of their subject matter and the film feels disturbingly real. It is also kind of interesting trying to figure out who is going to get killed when the shooting finally starts.
This might not be the greatest film ever made, but it is most certainly not the worst either ("Smoking Aces" was far worse, in my opinion). If you happen to be interested in the topic of high school shootings, then don't be put off by the fact that Boll directed this film. You might be pleasantly surprised too.
As reviewed by Genevieve Hayes
Postal (2007)
Until I watched Postal, I thought the best thing Uwe Boll could do for the film world would involve the phrase "retire forever," or maybe "death by a thousand cuts," as its core concept.
This movie changed my mind. It made me forgive Boll for all the horrible things he's done to my favorite games. I borrowed this movie from a friend, ignoring his ranting about how great it is, and sat down grimly determined to see how badly Boll had mutilated another one of my favorite game franchises, but I was shocked:
Postal is astonishingly, disgustingly hilarious. It is brutally brilliant in its determination to offend virtually everyone in the world, and to defile every single sacred cow within Western civilization, between the opening and ending credits. It out-South Parks South Park. Even Boll's previous moronic style of action movies are satirized with ridiculous shootout sequences. Hell, Boll even satirizes himself in the film, playing a Nazi-gold-funded, vaguely pedophilic administrator of an Auschwitz theme park who also makes video games into movies. How can you not love it?
I haven't laughed so hard, and so consistently, in years. A fluke? Notable only for its offensiveness? Perhaps. But well, well worth the money. I hope he makes more.
As reviewed by S.Hughes
This movie changed my mind. It made me forgive Boll for all the horrible things he's done to my favorite games. I borrowed this movie from a friend, ignoring his ranting about how great it is, and sat down grimly determined to see how badly Boll had mutilated another one of my favorite game franchises, but I was shocked:
Postal is astonishingly, disgustingly hilarious. It is brutally brilliant in its determination to offend virtually everyone in the world, and to defile every single sacred cow within Western civilization, between the opening and ending credits. It out-South Parks South Park. Even Boll's previous moronic style of action movies are satirized with ridiculous shootout sequences. Hell, Boll even satirizes himself in the film, playing a Nazi-gold-funded, vaguely pedophilic administrator of an Auschwitz theme park who also makes video games into movies. How can you not love it?
I haven't laughed so hard, and so consistently, in years. A fluke? Notable only for its offensiveness? Perhaps. But well, well worth the money. I hope he makes more.
As reviewed by S.Hughes
About thirty minutes in, my wife turned to me and asked this question:
"Who directed this and how did they get the money?"
Realizing the context of this remark, she is not a film buff and often cares very little about the art of film, who directs, who scored it and so on. Maybe she likes an actor every now and then, but it's not often. Her favourite film is Brotherhood of The Wolf.
My answer was this:
"Uwe Boll. No one seems to know where he gets any the money to make any of his movies."
"Ewe? You got that right," she stated, rolling her eyes.
As reviewed by ! Steffan Piper !
"Who directed this and how did they get the money?"
Realizing the context of this remark, she is not a film buff and often cares very little about the art of film, who directs, who scored it and so on. Maybe she likes an actor every now and then, but it's not often. Her favourite film is Brotherhood of The Wolf.
My answer was this:
"Uwe Boll. No one seems to know where he gets any the money to make any of his movies."
"Ewe? You got that right," she stated, rolling her eyes.
As reviewed by ! Steffan Piper !
Alone in the Dark (2005)
I laughed, I cried, it moved me... out of the theater.
"Alone in the Dark" is an orgy of ridiculous idea, a steaming pile of rancid celluloid that should have been relegated to 2AM showings on the Sci Fi Channel. In fact, it's difficult to understand why this video game adaptation wasn't relegated to the "Direct to Video" bins, along with all the other bad F-movie horror flicks.
As reviewed by E. A Solinas "ea_solinas"
"Alone in the Dark" is an orgy of ridiculous idea, a steaming pile of rancid celluloid that should have been relegated to 2AM showings on the Sci Fi Channel. In fact, it's difficult to understand why this video game adaptation wasn't relegated to the "Direct to Video" bins, along with all the other bad F-movie horror flicks.
As reviewed by E. A Solinas "ea_solinas"
Seed (2006)
Say what you will about Uwe Boll, but the much maligned director knows how to garner one reaction or another from people. Seed, a film that actually isn't based on a video game (although the PC game Advent Rising is included with the DVD here, no idea why) tells the story of mass murderer Max Seed (frequent Boll star Will Sanderson), who was electrocuted twice in the chair, and lived. After being buried alive, Seed is out for bloody revenge against those who put him in the ground, most notably being the detective (Michael Pare) that busted him. What sets Seed apart from the typical serial killer flick, and typical Boll flick, is that you really don't know what to expect to happen next. When a movie starts out with a warning from PETA and shows actual footage of animal torture, you know you're in for something different. Whether Seed is worth watching depends on how much you can stomach (the opening scenes are incredibly hard to watch), but Boll's film arguably says more about man's inhumanity to life than all the Saw's and Hostel's put together. Definitely not for everyone, Seed is surprisingly daring, and the denouement will actually stay with you after the credits are done rolling.
As reviewed by N. Durham "Big Evil"
As reviewed by N. Durham "Big Evil"
BloodRayne (2006)
Yes, I've read the reviews and heard the complaints, but still I rented this yesterday.
To put it bluntly, I wanted to pour bleach in my eyes afterwards.
As reviewed by Jason B. Morgan "actionfigure73"
To put it bluntly, I wanted to pour bleach in my eyes afterwards.
As reviewed by Jason B. Morgan "actionfigure73"
Mr. Lays's rating:
Unappreciated. Love or hate the guy he almost instantly starts debate. All of these reviews are taken from "fans" that Uwe Boll has on Amazon.com
I hope his "fans" don't sue me for using some of their reviews in my list!
Am I kidding?!
I hope his "fans" don't sue me for using some of their reviews in my list!
Am I kidding?!
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