Top 10 Manliest Movies of 2013
Anybody who respects their mandom needs to check out Escape Plan, and pronto! Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger are the stars here, and they're a perfectly-matched pair who spout manly dialogue and banter playfully with others. It's also a solid movie with smarts to its narrative, and it climaxes with one of the most memorable set-pieces in recent memory. Gloriously violent, it reminds us that these two action behemoths still have what it takes. Manly to the max!
Lone Survivor is extremely manly. It's a harrowing war picture on top of being a riveting action flick, and it's seeped in manly themes relating to grit, determination and brotherhood. The four protagonists at the centre of the movie speak in manly tongue and refuse to give up, continuing to fight despite being shot, bruised, battered, beaten and shaken up. It's this decade's Black Hawk Down.
Directed by extreme manly man Walter Hill, Bullet to the Head earns its manly status by being an 80s action movie at its core. At the centre of the action is manly man Sly Stallone, playing a very manly anti-hero in one of the most compelling performances of his career. The action is brutal and bloody, and it's a very satisfying slice of entertainment. Manly.
Although savaged by critics, Gangster Squad is a magnificent slice of manly entertainment. It flaunts a brilliant cast, with the likes of Josh Brolin, Sean Penn, former T-1000 Robert Patrick, and a few other actors. It's a straightahead action extravaganza, and while there's not much depth at play here, it's hard to care. It's a big, violent cartoon, and I had a lot of fun with it.
Arnie is back! He signalled his big-screen return early in 2013 with The Last Stand, a sensationally badass action fiesta that's vehemently R-rated. At the helm was manly Korean Ji-woon Kim, also responsible for other viciously violent movies, and his handling of the action scenes is marvellous. Add to this some salty language and a few manly supporting characters, and this movie is a blast.
The only PG-13 movie on the list! An R-rated treatment of the same material would be too crass; the movie works so well for what it is. Last Vegas is a story about friendship, and it has some genuinely touching things to say. The boys here are all quite manly, as they love their women, respect their women, and know how to fucking drink!