Favourite British Sitcom Characters

ALAN PARTRIDGE

Played by Steve Coogan
I'm Alan Partridge (1997-2002)

"Smell my cheese, you mother!"

MR. MACKAY

Played by Fulton Mackay
Porridge, Going Straight (1974-1978)

"There are only two rules in this prison, Rudge. Are you listening to me? One, you do not write on the walls. Two, you obey all the rules."

NORMAN STANLEY FLETCHER

Played by Ronnie Barker
Porridge, Going Straight (1974-1978)

"What, with these feet? Who'd have me?"

VICTOR MELDREW

Played by Richard Wilson
One Foot in the Grave (1990-2000)

"Hello, yes, I'd like to speak to the manager please and be quick about it...Meldrew!...no he doesn't but he will shortly...Hello, is that Mr. P.T. Sturgeon?... Yes, well, it's about a large Yucca plant your garden centre delivered to my house this morning...yes, a young chap, didn't catch his name, it may have been Frank Spencer... well I'll tell you exactly what the problem is Mr. Sturgeon, I was out the back working in the garden when he arrived, so I asked if for the time being, he'd put it in the downstairs toilet for me, and do you know what he's done, he's only planted it in the toilet pan!...Yes, yes, actually in the lavatory pan, the compost and everything, I mean how anyone can be so utterly goofy just boggles the mind!... A mistake anyone could have made?...Are you stark... I mean, what am I supposed to do? Cock my leg against the trunk like a Yorkshire Terrier?"

BASIL FAWLTY

Played by John Cleese
Fawlty Towers (1975-1979)

"Well, may I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest swinging majestically across the plain?"

PROFESSOR GEOFFREY LOFTUS

Played by Ernest Clark
Doctor in the House (and sequels) (1969-1991)

"You could inflict more pain simply by driving a pair of scissors into my solar plexus."

TRIGGER

Played by Roger Lloyd Pack
Only Fools and Horses (1981-2003)

"This old broom has had 17 new heads and 14 new handles in its time."

DR. ALAN STATHAM

Played by Mark Heap
Green Wing (2004-2006)

"Smell my sweat. Hmm? Smell my ping pong pong."

ARKWRIGHT

Played by Ronnie Barker
Open All Hours (1973-1985)

"G-Granville? How do you spell p-p-p-p-pepper? Is it six p's or seven?"

JIM ROYLE

Played by Ricky Tomlinson
The Royle Family (1998-2012)

"I'm not fiddling with meself! I paid a quid for these underpants, and I've got fifty pence worth stuck up me arse."

GERALDINE GRANGER

Played by Dawn French
The Vicar of Dibley (1994-2007)

"If I'd have known becoming a priest would entail dressing up in a rabbit costume, I'd have had a complete rethink and taken up prostitution, as indeed my headmistress originally suggested... mind you, I'd have probably ended up in a rabbit costume then as well."

DAVID BRENT

Played by Ricky Gervais
The Office (2001-2003)

"More modern stuff that that as well. Yeah... I sort of fused 'Flashdance' with MC Hammer shit."

REGINALD PERRIN

Played by Leonard Rossiter
The Fall & Rise of Reginald Perrin (1976-1979)

"Your complaints about late delay are not only completely unjustified, but also ungrammatical. The fault lies in your inability to fill in an order form correctly. You are in effect, a pompous, illiterate baboon. Your faithfully, Reginald I. Perrin."

TONY HANCOCK

Played by Tony Hancock
Hancock's Half Hour/Hancock (1956-1961)

"Does Magna Carta mean nothing to you? Did she die in vain?"

LORD FLASHHEART

Played by Rik Mayall
Blackadder (1986-1989)

"Just because I can give multiple orgasms to the furniture just by sitting on it, doesn't mean that I'm not sick of this damn war: the blood, the noise, the endless poetry."

DEREK 'DEL BOY' TROTTER

Played by David Jason
Only Fools and Horses (1981-2003)

"Play it nice and cool, son. Nice and cool, you know what I mean."

DIANA TRENT

Played by Stephanie Cole
Waiting for God (1990-1994)

"It's cloying old fuddies like you that give the elderly a bad name. Trotting out your trite little homilies like some refugee from Reader's Digest. You might enjoy being a quaint old parody of a human being, but I've still got my balls, thank you very much."

ONSLOW

Played by Geoffrey Hughes
Keeping Up Appearances (1990-2005)

"Let me give you a tiny word of advice... Dais. Now, you'll not find this in your romantic novels... but if you're gonna wear a see-through nightie, don't wear a vest."

LANCE-CORPORAL JONES

Played by Clive Dunn
Dad's Army (1968-1977)

"Excuse me, sir. I think it's probably a starting handle to a Panzy tank."

FLORENCE JOHNSON

Played by Hilda Braid
Citizen Smith (1977-1980)

"It's not loaded, but I know how to use it!"

MARGO LEADBETTER

Played by Penelope Keith
The Good Life (1975-1978)

"I am not a fool, Jerry. I know about allotments. They are places where men go to sit in silly little sheds so they don't have to talk to their wives."

MR. WILBERFORCE CLAYBORNE HUMPHRIES

Played by John Inman
Are You Being Served? (1973-1985)

"If she wants to come over and give my Wibbly-Wobblies a swing, would I create a scene?"

HYACINTH BUCKET

Played by Patricia Routledge
Keeping Up Appearances (1990-2005)

"I cannot abide people who run around making a meal out of their little social triumphs."

NICK HARPER

Played by Kris Marshall
My Family (2000-2005)

"You won't get a beautiful girl jumping out of a cake for that price. You'll be lucky to get an ugly bird eating a scone."

BRENDA WILSON

Played by Emma Wray
Watching (1987-1993)

"Well, you could be right. I mean, she is short of short for her poundage, but that's just distribution, isn't it? I mean, she'd be dead slim if she was seven foot three."

OWEN NEWITT

Played by Roger Lloyd Pack
The Vicar of Dibley (1994-2007)

"Well, I shouldn't think it's a case of 'willy-nilly', willy's got to be willing, you can't do it with a willy that's nilly!"

HAROLD STEPTOE

Played by Harry H. Corbett
Steptoe & Son (1962-1974)

"What's that got to do with it? I fail to see your reasoning, look... 'Pickled onions in vinegar'... 'in vinegar', not soap and water. If I wanted my onions to taste of... this isn't only beside the point, it's irrelevant. Whichever way you look at it, to fish pickled onions out of your bath water and put them back in the jar is an act of extreme dirtiness, eurgh... you dirty, dirty...!"

PETULA GORDINO

Played by Julie Walters
Dinnerladies (1998-2000)

"I don't know Lenny, Gwinny's my pal. I did offer to have intercourse with him, well why not,I'm with Simone de Beauvoir on that. In the event, he had a costume fitting, so it was biked over in a Jiffy bag."

MAURICE MOSS

Played by Richard Ayoade
The IT Crowd (2006-2010)

"I came here to drink milk and kick ass... and I've just finished my milk."

LIEUTENANT HUBERT GRUBER

Played by Guy Siner
'Allo 'Allo! (1982-1992)

"Before I was a window dresser, I was employed in an art gallery. Occasionally I was allowed to touch up old masters."

ALBERT STEPTOE

Played by Wilfrid Brambell
Steptoe & Son (1962-1974)

"This is the first bleedin' drink I've ever had on him."

MANUEL

Played by Andrew Sachs
Fawlty Towers (1975-1979)

"Not 'On those trays.' No, sir, 'Uno dos tres.' Uno, dos, tres."

HERR OTTO FLICK

Played by Richard Gibson/David Janson
'Allo 'Allo! (1982-1992)

"I will repeat the question. What is your name, Helga?"

RICK

Played by Rik Mayall
The Young Ones (1982-1984)

"Well that's just typical... five minutes to go to the most important party of my life and half the house has been wrecked by a gigantic sandwich."

DOUGAL McGUIRE

Played by Ardal O'Hanlon
Father Ted (1995-1998)

"I know, I know, Ted. I used to be happy enough with the old bike, you know, I used to get a great buzz just going down to the shops, but after a while, it just wasn't enough. I just kept going for bigger and bigger thrills, but I can handle it, Ted, I could quit any time I want."

BARBARA GOOD

Played by Felicity Kendal
The Good Life (1975-1978)

"No, it's not. No, it's not. These are girls' clothes. And what am I doing in girls' clothes, anyway? I'm not a girl, I'm a Barbara. And this is what Barbara's look like."

BALDRICK

Played by Tony Robinson
Blackadder (1983-2000)

"No sir, you are as dead as some doo-doos."

JEFFREY MURDOCK

Played by Richard Coyle
Coupling (2000-2002)

"I've got the key to the gates of paradise, but I've got too many legs!"

TONY SMART

Played by Neil Morrissey
Men Behaving Badly (1992-1998)

"I was just wondering what colour your bush is."

EDDIE HITLER

Played by Ade Edmondson
Bottom (1991-1995)

"What was your Red Indian name then? Running mouth? Sitting down? Talking bollocks?"

TOMMY SAXONDALE

Played by Steve Coogan
Saxondale (2006-2007)

"Well, anger is like flatulence, isn't it? In so far as it's far better to let it out in increments then to let go with one humungous rattle."

RICHARD RICHARD

Played by Rik Mayall
Bottom (1991-1995)

"Oh look... the three kings... gold, Frankenstein, and Grrrr, a virgin birth, and look... a blue headscarf, I mean that really tops it off. It's all slotting into place, I knew I was special. I always knew I was different from the other people, that's why I never got a shag, being kept pure, because I'm better than everyone else in the whole world."

PEGGY OLLERENSHAW

Played by Su Pollard
Hi-de-Hi! (1982-1992)

"Oh, I'm glad you've come. I've just took a message for Mr. Fairbrother. I better tell you quick before I forget it. It's from a man named Ron and if you've got one, you've got to take it out and put a match to it. Oh, and if you squeal, he knows a man who can come and stitch it up for you."

FATHER JACK HACKETT

Played by Frank Kelly
Father Ted (1995-1998)

"Feck off, cup!"

MANNY BIANCO

Played by Bill Bailey
Black Books (2000-2004)

"Everything's covered in filth, look. The whole place is a complete mess, you can't find anything. Right now, I'm eating scrambled egg with a comb, from a shoe!"

CAT

Played by Danny John-Jules
Red Dwarf (1988-)

"I'm supposed to wear these?! These look like Frankenstein's hand-me-downs. Haven't you got anything with a Cuban heel or a crêpe sole?"

ACE RIMMER

Played by Chris Barrie
Red Dwarf (1991-2007)

"Smoke me a kipper... I'll be back for breakfast."

QUEEN ELIZABETH I

Played by Miranda Richardson
Blackadder II (1983-1999)

"It's him! Oh, God. Do I look absolutely divine and regal and yet at the same time very pretty and rather accessible?"

MAGGIE JACOBS

Played by Ashley Jensen
Extras (2005-2007)

"Yeah, no, I'm good. You? Good. Yeah, I'm ready. Okay. I'm not wearing anything. No, you're not wearing anything? Oh. Hey, both of us are not wearing anything. What am I doing? Yeah. Er... First off, I'm fudding myself stupid and I'm bloody loving it. Fudding."

MARIGOLD

Played by Eamonn Walker
In Sickness & in Health (1985-1987)

"When you play God Save the Queen or Land of Hope and Glory on the piano, you have to use the white keys and the darkies!"