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Added by Bad☆Alice on 11 Nov 2011 10:31
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My favorite Comedies :)

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Road Trip

People who added this item 1530 Average listal rating (981 ratings) 5.7 IMDB Rating 6.5
Kyle: It's not cheating if you spread peanut butter on your balls and let your dog lick it off.
[Josh, Rubin and E.L. are understandably repulsed]
Kyle: Because it's your dog.
Rubin: Jesus Christ!
Kyle: You know, because it's YOUR dog, get it?
Rubin: Yeah, we've got it.

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American Pie

People who added this item 4969 Average listal rating (3258 ratings) 6.1 IMDB Rating 7
Jim: Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?
Kevin: You want to take this one?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Like warm apple pie.
Jim: Yeah?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Yeah.
Jim: Apple pie, huh?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Uh huh.
Jim: McDonald's or homemade?
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Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle

Harold: Did Doogie Houser just steal my f*cking car?
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Superbad

People who added this item 2800 Average listal rating (1883 ratings) 6.9 IMDB Rating 7.6
He is the sweetest guy. Have you ever looked into his eyes? It was like the first time I heard the Beatles.
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The Goonies

People who added this item 2498 Average listal rating (1614 ratings) 7.4 IMDB Rating 7.8
Chunk: Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
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A Christmas Story

Mr. Parker: Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.
Mrs. Parker: Uh, I think that says FRAGILE, dear.
Mr. Parker: Oh, yeah.
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Twins

People who added this item 1912 Average listal rating (1264 ratings) 5.3 IMDB Rating 6
Vincent Benedict: Money talks and bullshit walks!
Julius Benedict: How can bullshit walk?
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Beetlejuice

People who added this item 4596 Average listal rating (3064 ratings) 7.2 IMDB Rating 7.5
Juno: What's wrong?
Barbara: We're very unhappy.
Juno: What did you expect? You're dead.
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Home Alone

People who added this item 6696 Average listal rating (4416 ratings) 6.7 IMDB Rating 7.5
Kevin McCallister: Can I sleep in your room? I don't want to sleep on the hide-a-bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed.
Buzz McCallister: I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass.
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Kindergarten Cop

People who added this item 2032 Average listal rating (1339 ratings) 5.6 IMDB Rating 6.1
Joseph: My dad's a gynecologist. He looks at vaginas all day long.
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Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey

Grim Reaper: [rapping] You might be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you dance with the reaper.
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Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead

Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: [searching the house for the money] She must've had it on her!
Melissa Crandell: Well it's ours! Go back and get it from the old hag!
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: Oh yeah, we'll just go down there and say 'excuse me, we left our money on our dead baby sitter', no way!
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Encino Man

People who added this item 489 Average listal rating (337 ratings) 5.4 IMDB Rating 5.7
Stoney: If you're edged 'cause I'm weazin all your grindage, just chill. 'Cause if I had the whole brady bunch thing happenin' at my pad, I'd go grind over there, so dont tax my gig so hard-core cruster.
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My Cousin Vinny

Vinny Gambini: Your Honor, may I have permission to treat Ms. Vito as a hostile witness?
Mona Lisa Vito: You think I'm hostile now, wait 'til you see me tonight.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Do you two know each other?
Vinny Gambini: Yeah, she's my fiancée.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Well, that would certainly explain the hostility.
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Wayne's World

Stacy: Well, don't you want to open your present?
Wayne Campbell: If it's a severed head, I'm going to be very upset.
Stacy: Open it.
Wayne Campbell: What is it?
Stacy: It's a gun rack.
Wayne Campbell: A gun rack... a gun rack. I don't even own *a* gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?
Stacy: You don't like it? Fine. You know Wayne, if you're not careful, you're going to lose me.
Wayne Campbell: I lost you two months ago. We broke up. Are you mental? Get the net!
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Baby's Day Out

People who added this item 722 Average listal rating (459 ratings) 5.2 IMDB Rating 6
Norby: What's the name of the fairy tale with the egg on the wall?
Veeko: That was Nat King Cole.
Eddie: No, Nat King Cole stuck his finger in the pie and yanked out the bird.
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Camp Nowhere

Dennis Van Welker: [some advice to Mud] Here's what you do: get lost! Disappear into the woods for five or six hours. When you show up they'll be so glad you haven't been eaten by bears, they'll forget the other stuff!

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Little Giants

People who added this item 368 Average listal rating (223 ratings) 5.9 IMDB Rating 6.3
Little Giants (1994)
Kevin O'Shea: Peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Are you nuts?
Rudy Zolteck: It's still good!
Kevin O'Shea: You'll never get anywhere treating your helmet like a lunchbox son? What is that?
Butz: Cheetos.
Kevin O'Shea: Crunchy or puffed?
Butz: Puffed.
Kevin O'Shea: Whip e'm.
[Butz confiscates the food and walks off]
Rudy Zolteck: My MOM made that!
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Dumb and Dumber

People who added this item 4025 Average listal rating (2705 ratings) 6.2 IMDB Rating 7.3
Lloyd: We got no food, no jobs... our PETS' HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!
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The Little Rascals

Buckwheat: [singing, as he and Porky are jogging to the race] We're goin' to the race, we're gonna win first place, and you have an ugly face!
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The Nutty Professor

Mama Klump: Cletus, the dog has ripped the garbage bag open again.
Papa Klump: Well, shoot the damn dog!
Mama Klump: I ain't shootin' no dog!
Papa Klump: I'm tryin' to watch "Roseanne."
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Liar Liar

People who added this item 4127 Average listal rating (2772 ratings) 6.4 IMDB Rating 6.9
Greta: He knocked over another ATM. This time at knife point. He needs your legal advice.
Fletcher: [picking up phone and shouting] Stop breaking the law, asshole!
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Romy and Michele's High School Reunion

Michele: Remember the prom? You got so thin by then.
Romy: Oh, I know. I was so lucky getting mono. That was like the best diet ever.
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National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

Clark: Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?
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The Waterboy

People who added this item 1518 Average listal rating (978 ratings) 5.7 IMDB Rating 6.1
Bobby Boucher: My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.
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Bean

People who added this item 1648 Average listal rating (1004 ratings) 5.7 IMDB Rating 6.4
Lt. Brutus: Mr. Bean, are you presently on any kind of medication?
Mr. Bean: Not that I know of.
Lt. Brutus: You certainly could use some.
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Mrs. Doubtfire

People who added this item 4569 Average listal rating (3103 ratings) 6.5 IMDB Rating 6.9
Mrs. Doubtfire: [as Daniel] My first day as a woman and I'm getting hot flashes.
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The Ladies Man

People who added this item 169 Average listal rating (96 ratings) 4.9 IMDB Rating 5.1
Leon Phelps: Listen, I was wandering. Can I ask you a question? Uh... was your father a meat burgler? Here's why I ask: because it looks like somebody stole two fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress.
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Little Nicky

People who added this item 1573 Average listal rating (1054 ratings) 5.1 IMDB Rating 5.3
Jimmy the Demon: Remember, you have to shove a pineapple up Hitler's ass at 4 p.m...
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Joe Dirt

People who added this item 570 Average listal rating (358 ratings) 5.2 IMDB Rating 5.9
Joe Dirt (2001)
Joe Dirt: Well, I was born without the top of my skull and I guess a little bit of my brains was showin' and it was grossin' everybody out so my mom put this wig on me to cover it up and then the bones grew together and it got all infused and entwined. I mean I don't mean to get all scientific with you...
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Saving Silverman

Wayne: So Darren tells me you're a psychologist.
Judith: That's right.
Wayne: I'm in a related field.
Judith: Really? What is it?
Wayne: Pest and rodent removal.
Judith: How is that related?
Wayne: We both help people.
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Scary Movie 2

People who added this item 2822 Average listal rating (1773 ratings) 4.8 IMDB Rating 5.3
My germs!!
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Rat Race

People who added this item 1332 Average listal rating (869 ratings) 5.7 IMDB Rating 6.4
Lucy Impersonator: How about a pit-stop?
Owen Templeton: Sorry, this is a one way flight. There's a bathroom in the back.
Lucy: The latch is broken. Anyone could just walk right in.
Owen Templeton: So? Look, you ain't got nothin' these other Lucys haven't seen before.
Lucy: [man's voice] Not necessarily.
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Van Wilder

Van Wilder: Dinner for two. Me and you. Clothing optional.
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Duplex

People who added this item 1159 Average listal rating (744 ratings) 5.5 IMDB Rating 5.9
Mrs. Connelly: I don't drink meself, it's a sin.
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Eurotrip

People who added this item 1964 Average listal rating (1263 ratings) 6 IMDB Rating 6.6
Computer voice: Mail, mothafucka!
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Mean Girls

People who added this item 3805 Average listal rating (2434 ratings) 6.5 IMDB Rating 7
Karen: Gretchen, I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles.
[beat]
Karen: And I'm sorry for telling everyone about it.
[beat]
Karen: And I'm sorry for repeating it now.
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My Baby's Daddy

People who added this item 35 Average listal rating (20 ratings) 4.3 IMDB Rating 4.5
G: Who's taking care of your kids?
Lonnie: Jesus.
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Napoleon Dynamite

Trisha: I wanted to thank you for the beautiful drawing you did of me.
[through gritted teeth]
Trisha: It's hanging in my *bedroom*.
Napoleon Dynamite: Really? It took me like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done.
Trisha: Yeah... it's really... neat.
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10 things I hate about you

Walter Stratford: Hello, Katarina. Make anyone cry today?
Kat Stratford: Sadly, no. But it's only 4:30.
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Accepted

People who added this item 939 Average listal rating (571 ratings) 5.9 IMDB Rating 6.5
Sherman Schrader: Ask me about my wiener!
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I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

Alex McDonough: You know, Larry's heavy set. Is that the kind of guy you've always been attracted to?
Chuck Levine: Ah no, he's my first fattie.
Alex McDonough: You guys really seem like you have a lot of sexual chemistry.
Chuck Levine: I float his boat and he sinks mine.
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Step Brothers

Brennan Huff: I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!
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Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Zack Brown: What's your name?
Lester: Lester. Lester the Molester Cockenschtuff.
Zack Brown: Wow. That's a great porn name.
Lester: I get to pick a porn name? Then I want to be called Pete Jones.
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Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Thom: Would someone mind telling me where we're going?
Norah: You know how some people like to eat at the same places?
Nick: Yeah.
Norah: Well Caroline likes to barf in the same places
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I love you, Man

Peter Klaven: I'm Peter Klaven, I'm the Realtor.
Sydney Fife: Hey check out these two. That guy needs to fart.
Peter Klaven: He does seem to be clenching.
Sydney Fife: Watch the leg... Boom!
Peter Klaven: He farted in my open house.
Sydney Fife: He sure did.
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Waiting

People who added this item 507 Average listal rating (315 ratings) 5.9 IMDB Rating 6.8
Waiting... (2005)
Monty: [using a Forrest Gump voice] Momma said they's my magic shoes. Mama said they would take me anywhere. 'Course Mama used to beat me with a rubber hose and call me a retard.
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Paul

People who added this item 1395 Average listal rating (909 ratings) 6.5 IMDB Rating 7
Graeme Willy: You are an alien!
Paul: To you I am, yes.
Graeme Willy: Are you gonna probe us?
Paul: *Why* does everyone always assume that? What am I doing? Am I harvesting farts? How much can I learn from an ass?
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