Movie Reviews (1751-1800)
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Basically a different take on "The Phantom of the Opera" story as the main story takes place on the stage with a masked killer behind-the-scenes doing mayhem. This killer is played by Herbert Lom who actually played the Phantom in 1962 so it could maybe be called an unofficial sequel? The difference is now that it takes place on the stage (not an opera) where a play of "Murders in the Rue Morgue" is performed. The film seem to relish best with some surreal dream sequences and strange camera angles, but is mostly dull. Christine Kaufmann looks fantastic though as the dame in distress.
One of the many movies made during the 1960s based upon the pulpy crime novels of Edgar Wallace. It is about a group of strange suspects in a circus. Christopher Lee is one of the usual suspects as a scarred lion tamer with a black mask but his role is only marginally interesting as the golem face of Klaus Kinski steals the show as a different killer lurking in the shadows of the tent. I liked it, but it must be treaty as what it is meant to be - a pulp crime story brought to life.
Giallo that looks fantastic but the script could have been better as the clairvoyant heroine could not see the obvious villain when I could courtesy of bad writing. The ending rip off one of Edgar Allan Poe's better stories too. I wanted to love the movie, but I found it only acceptable.
Comedic biography movie about dirty talk radio DJ Howard Stern who was at the height of his power in the mid 1990s. He plays himself (of course) as those his assistants as the film tell about his raise to fame. Tons of porn stars and beautiful women crowds the movie. It is hardly a classic but it is a lot more entertaining than most mainstream Hollywood comedies I have seen.
With two of horror's most famous legends I had hoped this could have been a good movie but this film never really kicks into gear and the two are actually supporting actors in this horror movie. Vincent Price play an aristocrat who has a deformed and insane brother that he keeps in the attic, but the brother escapes and soon he starts to kill people. Christopher Lee appear as a helping doctor to the insane brother that even pays two grave robbers for corpses for his medical experiments. Maybe this film would have been better in another director's hands as most of Gordon Hessler's movies has been enormous stinkers or lousy copies of better films. See the film for the actors and Gothic atmosphere, but not for it's story, editing or directing.
Few movies has ever done war with such a sense for gallows humor as this one. It must be one of the darkest comedies ever seen as two opposing soldiers try to get over their differences by defusing a mine that a third one has fallen unto. It is bleak from the get-go and United Nations gets a big middle finger too at the end as they try to cover up their own mistakes. If you are to see one movie about the insanity of the war in Bosnia Herzegovnian you can't get away from this excellent Academy Award Winner for Best Foreign Movie.
Christopher Lee do look like a man of authority that could easily judge you to death so the title is actually good in what is a "remake/copy/ripoff" of "The Witchfinder General" done the Jess Franco way. Actually, it is one of his better efforts as the film do have a believable setting, a better-than-normal budget with good production values and solid cinematography, but his love for violent prison scenes with nude lesbian women feels especially unnecessary for this film as they cheapen the film enormously even with gorgeous Maria Rohm give the movie more class than it deserves. The music score also add some epic-ness to the sleaze, but the battle sequences are choppy, messy and terribly edited.
Jean Jacques Annuad try to recreate some of the magic that he did on "The Bear", but with two tigers instead. Sadly, the major problem is that the story has too much human beings in it and terrible CGI in scenes where humans and animals had to be protected from each other. I found this to be a much more artificial movie with very few genuine believable moments.
Based upon a book by Jo Nesbø where a confused inventor discover that he has made a powder that makes people fart so hard that they can fly. Visually the movie look like an inferior cross between "Big Fish" and a Roald Dahl movie with a few characters that look abnormally like cartoon characters like the villainous rival to Doktor Proktor who is played with glee and a twinkle in the eye by Atle Antonsen. A hungry fake-looking CGI Anaconda also wreak havoc in the sewers under Oslo ready to devour the person who dropped it in a toilet. This movie could have been perfect for the kids, especially younger ones who find farting exceptionally fun, but what crazy insane script supervisor decided to let a teacher say "you small motherfuckers" to his underage kids and audience that mostly are under 13? And how the hell did Norwegian censors accept that when they have been Nazis on mostly everything else over the ages? Is it our Freedom of Speech that makes bad words acceptable even in films for kids?
Action comedy with the unlikely romantic duo of Goldie Hawn and Mel Gibson as they go up against the evil face of David Carradine, who can't do much with his stereotypical villain role. It all ends up in a shoot-out in a rain-forest themed zoo. Pretty forgettable film too.
Peter Jackson's low-budget horror-splatter-gore fest about an alien invasion movie where people on an island has been eaten by ugly-looking creatures from outer space who live inside a spaceship disguised as a normal-looking house. One of the better things with this film is that it takes place in daylight so that one can cherish all the blood effects and ugly make-up without it being hidden in the dark. Peter Jackson play one of the heroes too and even survives a fall from a cliff getting his brain smashed. Only fifteen years later Jackson would be one of the 10 most powerful and successful directors in Hollywood by directing films in the J.R.R. Tolkien universe making this film even more unique to watch as this is the absolute opposite of his Hollywood films and a film that tries to offend more than it embraces it's audience.
Ron Howard's love letter to the life-risking firemen is weighed heavily with a laughable script about a crazed firefighter who is a pyromaniac and psychopath killing off politician that he doesn't like. Better is the pyrotechnic effects which are impressive and the expensive state-of-the-art FX. It makes about as much sense as an Irwin Allen catastrophe movie.
Some lumberjacks gets abducted by an U.F.O. in what is apparently based upon a true story. At least it has great abduction scenes and it made perfect sense to release this in 1993 as it was the same year as "The X-Files" premiered in the autumn. Future regular of that show, Robert Patrick even is the star of this film as is former "E.T." star Henry Thomas. It is a pretty acceptable film of this genre even if the story has few surprises today.
Rebecca Romjin going down on Rie Rasmussen is the highlight of the movie in this confused "who fools who" movie filled with hallucinations, dreams and flashbacks. It is gorgeous to look at and Rebecca is hardly difficult to look at, but the acting itself is non-existent and I hate the kind-of reset button twist at the end.
Jerry has to be servant for Tom who behave himself as a baby. This idyllic life is soon ruined for the cat when a new cute kitten arrives. One of them has to go and it ends with Tom getting a real spanking.
Tom and Jerry chase each other through an city apartment taking their differences out on the outside of the skyscraper where they live. Love for animated slapstick is necessary. Tom ends up with the body of a caterpillar at the end.
Tom and Jerry take their chase out on the streets. Tom ends in the arms of a French-speaking stray cat speaking loving words.
Tom chase Jerry through a construction site. Tom hits his head a lot and is almost blown to bits by TNT. The writers also had a bad day as this one is full of repeating gags we have seen before.
Love story between two pen pals that happen to live in the same house but in different time periods and can communicate through a magic mailbox. It is hardly a realistic story but if you dream of love that can overwin even time itself then I guess this is a film to see. Sadly, the acting is mediocre and I would love instead to have seen the South Korean movie this film remakes to be a little more accessible instead so that I could have seen that one instead.
The disturbing image of seeing Arnold Schwarzenegger with a big pregnant belly and seeing him crying his big man tears due to a hormone change is to hard for any man to take. It is the scariest horror movie ever made as comedy not as funny.
When a movie directed by John Carpenter lacks his name together with the film title at the beginning and his usual atmospheric movie score you know that this is a film made at the demand of the studio and not by the director's true intention of something visionary. True enough, this movie is hardly memorable, but there are some honorable mentions in it: Chevy Chase do his last watchable film role and is actually not that bad as the Invisible Man, Sam Neill is though much better as the man who is to bring him down, Darryl Hannah is still looking good, the few effects in the film are good and Michael McKean is hilarious in a petty supporting role and one could only dare think how much better it would have been with him as the lead. Mostly though the film feels like a wasted opportunity. It has a lot going for it, but the execution feels uninspired, the script never kicks into gear and the action too lowkey. Maybe it would have been better as a TV-series?
Black Emanuelle movie at it's worst is to be honest totally unrelated to anything. This is a terrible mix of softcore sex, musical and unintentional comedy about a sick love cult that tempt the daughter of a US senator to join them and Gemser play their divine God, the only good thing in the movie. Christian Anders play the terrible blonde cult leader and also wrote and directed this terrible excuse of a movie so that he could see all the girls naked.
"My Little Pony" crazed 5-year-old had to see this in cinemas and no other than yours truly had to follow her. It will not change a single non-believer into being fans as it follow the same pattern as the series and could easily have been a three-parter on the show. A new dark force, Storm King, takes over the Pony Kingdom and the usual suspects gets help from new friends that eventually will turn up as new toys and has to turn over a Pony with a broken unicorn horn so that she can help them save the day. A Sia lookalike pony show up to sing a tune and there is a bigger celebrity voice cast than usual. I did sleep for a scene or two, but my girl was happy and it is hard not to get happy by the colors and the very big-eyed ponies. For fans only.
A pure macho action movie that seem to channel the old 1980s action films but in a modern package. It also takes the idea of matching a group of guns-for-hire from "Inglorious Bastards" and make a pure film about them, but in a modern setting. Sylvester Stallone take the Brad Pitt role and he gets good help from a who's who of old action favorites. While Sly wants to be the main hero and the reason for the audience to see the film, it is Dolph Lundgren who steals the show as a man who decide to turn against his former team. The loud soundtrack consisting of favorite old rock tunes, explosions and heavy gunfire helps drowning the lousy dialogue. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis have a small scene together that make one wish they had been a bigger part of the team, but I guess that is saved for the sequel. A movie that will not make any action fan sad, but it could have been a lot better as the rest of the team deserved to have bigger roles (Jet Li has a good fight scene with Dolph but mostly used so that everyone can laugh at the Asian) and the villains are cardboard cartoon villains we have seen numerous times before and even Eric Roberts can't do much other than stand and glare in the role.
Is Love just another word for possessing another person's soul and sex life? Is love really a destructive feeling or is it the sex that lead to downfall as true love should lead to couples having babies together? This would probably have been a much better film had not the leading male character been such a selfish prick and the dialogue consisted mostly of swearing and bad improvising. Most memorable for seeing beautiful unafraid wanna-be actresses doing real sex in 3D and it's excellent cinematography. The editing (trying to emulate a "blink of the eye" also don't help) and only make it a very annoying film that goes on for far too long.
Kevin Costner doing "Mad Max on water". It is not as bad as some wants it to be as it has excellent production values and some colorful characters, but the film never surprises and has lackluster action and an annoying kid supporting the action. The film also have several loose ends that should have been better addressed but this is a very hit-and-miss production.
Colorful disco dance music movie has cute trolls, but also some disturbing moments of disgusting unlikeable evil big trolls that eat them which makes this not a film for the most sensitive child. Funnier is the fact that these evil trolls come from a town called Bergen (a rainy city in Norway which housed Edvard Grieg who's "In the Hall of the Mountain King" is heard in the movie). The film is mostly filled with retakes of contempary tunes though and has a pretty unremarkable ending and plot that ruin an essential good idea.
While a historical correct documentary about the heavy water sabotage in Rjukan where the real people recreate what happened. It is also a very dry movie with a narrator clearly in love with his own voice ruining the impact the film would have had if they had let the people themselves use their own voices.
Surprisingly good documentary about the last two months of porn legend Rocco Silfredi. It is brutally honest about both the man and why he both choose to become a sex actor and why he needs to end his reign. This documentary shoots the erotic scenes and the actors better than most porn films they probably have been in with emotional facial expressions and better quality footage than one is expected to see. Not a film for those that get revolted by strong frank language and seeing nude girls enjoying sex and having a facial on their faces.
Could possibly be the first movie that told about teenage schoolgirls sexual fantasies. This mockumentary is pretty innocent today compared to what we see young girls do with their web-cameras or in porn as their freedom has exploded compared to the old 1970s. This film consist of fake interviews where "schoolgirls" stories are recreated by actors. It was probably felt very sleazy and controversial at the time. Strange how times have changed.
New stories about "teenage lust". It could easily have been the script for a porn movie, but is just as acceptable for a sexploitation movie where young girls undress and simulate sex. All the short stories seem to tell that schoolgirls are so horny and tempt any man (even their own teacher) into dirty deeds as their hormones go sky high at this age. Questionable yes but had this movie had some stupid comedic scenes in the script instead of taking this subject that serious it would not have been that much different from an American college sex comedy.
The third of thirteen films, but the last I have seen so far (ended this like a trilogy). All movies are repetitive and tell different stories about girls experiencing sex either for the first time or the hundredth in different situations. These movies at least make you want to keep a close tab on your teenage daughter as they are all either prey or predators for any horny man except the overweight one which everyone (even the teachers) laugh of. Lovers of nude Euro babes will love this series, but while the two first movies were "innocent" enough this third one go for shock value with rape stories and other "dirtier" stories.
This direct-to-video feature continued the "Stargate SG:1" series after it was finished with 10 seasons. The story deliver every cliche expected from the show and the story is played out like we have seen countless times before in the show with the exception that it at least tries to end some of the long-running plot line that was started in season 9 of the show. Sadly the villains are badly portrayed and it doesn't help that Julian Sands and Morena Baccarin (who both can deliver fantastic work) has nothing to play with here. Non-fans will also be confused by the continuity but the effects, powerful music and cinematography is still top notch and most devoted fans will gooble this one up too.
Overlong and disappointing time travel story that can't bring anything new on the table except giving actors different roles to play and giving fans one final trip through the gate. The ensemble do their best and are fun to see as usual but there is not enough inventiveness with the script and should have been better.
Young adult version of "Battle Royale", "Running Man" and "The Most Dangerous Game" is actually pretty powerful stuff as it tells about a futuristic society where teenagers has to compete against each other in a fight to the death on reality TV. It makes for something different to see young people killing each other even if it is not an unique idea. Jennifer Lawrence had her breakout role here as Katniss Everdeen and is acceptable for the role. While it should probably have been both more brutal and nail-biting the film manage to make a believable world out of the film and the supporting cast is excellent. It is played out predictably at the end, but at the same time it is hard not to say I'm intrigued by seeing the sequel.
When the navy cook is the most deadly of them all the terrorists (excellent trio of Tommy Lee Jones, Gary Busey and Colm Meaney) that hijack a marine boat will discover the fury of Steven Seagal. Erika Eleniak strips out of a cake revealing her lovely melons. It is an inferior "Die Hard" copy for sure, but compared to the two last sequels in that franchise this movie looks like a diamond neklace.
Jamie Lee Curtis discover that her husband Arnold Schwarzenegger is not going to the gym working out muscle in his sparetime but actually a spy. A lot of humorous stuff happens. Curtis' show that one can be close to 40 and still show off her body and do one hell-of-a striptease, dance tango and have a catfight with Tia Carrere. Arnie blows up crazed terrorists as usual, but it is more fun to see him punching the face of sleazy Bill Paxton. Strange to see Eliza Dushku in early puberty as the spy couple's daughter. Maybe James Cameroon should make a sequel with Arnie and her now 25 years later instead of another damn "Terminator" movie? I enjoy this one.
Prequel to original "Elling" lacks the warmth of the original and makes the fault of making the leading character obnoxious and focusing on the seriousness of his health problems. The story also lacks warmth and character humor and comes off as a little clinical and serious for it's own good. Director Eva Isaksen has been better at making crime movies and deeper dramas as her attempt at comedy here misfires since the film seem more interested in showing the last happy days of Elling before he loses his most devoted fan and support: his mom. Od the three existing movies this is the one movie that easily can be skipped.
College teenage werewolf movie could have been fun had it done it right as a horror comedy, but instead this werewolf is more interested in playing basketball making this a supernatural sports movie with that predictable "last shot in last second wins the match" scene. Michael J. Fox does his usual charming routine, but this is a pretty forgettable film in the end only worth seeing for it's basic idea.
Robin Williams recreated Dustin Hoffman's "Tootsie" as a old woman housemaid in this family friendly comedy about a divorced actor who tries to spend time with his family again. In real life his scam would have been reported to the police and he would never have seen his kids again, but since this is a cute film he gets away with it. The movie doesn't break new ground and is another one of those films where a man play a woman, but Robin Williams do shockingly look like an old maid as the makeup looks shockingly good on him.
A colorless and lukewarm romantic drama where Harrison Ford and Kristin Scott Thomas lose their loved one in a plane crash only to discover they were having an affair together and (to a "huge chock") they decide to take comfort with each other in a hope that their revenge will be felt in the afterlife. A boring subplot about corrupt cops is added to make the story a little more action-filled as the main romantic story limps around on one leg and the resolution is not at all that exciting.
Drama about the man who lead the breaking of the Enigma code is an usung story as his role was stacked away since he was gay. It is an intelligent written and directed movie and has also big historic relevance as it is based upon true events during WW2. Benedict C. do a gripping performance, but the movie seem to forget a little that there was a huge team that solved the code and not just one man which this film seemingly point out.
Acceptable "you get two for the price of one Schwarzenegger" film as he plays a man who's life is invaded by a clone. As in all Hollywood clone movies there is seem to be a magical element involved that gives the clone the memories and personality of the original when recreated. At least the film is fun and has some good additional villains but the action is mostly forgettable and story is of the type seen numerous times before.
After almost a decade after the series ended and a few failed series attempts, creator and writer J. Michael Straczynski returned to the Babylon 5 universe as we get some new self-contained stories to create new interest in the franchise. It is an anthology story consisting of two stories. The first one is a "closed room" take on "The Exorcist" with Elizabeth Lochley who get to look and act better than she ever did before but it is still only a time waster. The second one is a story where President Sheridan has to decide to kill off one person to save billions (the Adolph Hitler scenario: if you could kill the man as an innocent to save millions would you do it?). This film would have been a lot more interesting had it only consisted of a longer version of the second story but with a faster pace and not the cop-out ending. Effects look better than most of what we saw in season 5 and it is a welcome return to the universe, but there should have been stories that tried to book-end some of the already open plot holes from the series instead of creating new paradoxes.
Inspired upon a true story about a young teenage girl fooled into trafficking, prostitution and rape this is a depressing and grim but very honest movie about the fate of many young Eastern European girls who finally get their voice on the screen. While I get annoyed by people who "didn't know this was possible" I sadly knew better as men sadly only exploit the cute and nicest of us. This is not a movie that will make anyone happy, but it is an important and strong film to endure and has a lasting impact on my soul. It all kickstarts with Metallica's "Mein Hertz Brent"
The basic premise is intriguing about a passenger flight that explodes on it's way to it's destination. Kris Kristofferson investigates and discover that the plane's passengers was transported into the future to repopulate the Earth in an elaborate and complex time travel. Actually I liked much about the movie, but there is a whole section halfway through that repeats all that we saw in the beginning with only minor changes that seem pointless and the film itself is not more impressive than it could have passed as a direct-to-TV feature. Devoted science fiction fans should get some kicks out of it though.
A huge improvement over the dreadful second movie. The third film still has problems but at least it is not a pure copycat of the first film as the first sequel was. Tommy Lee Jones who probably also hated that film only bookends this film as he gets killed off due to a time-travelling alien and Will Smith has to go back in time to stop the event from happening. Josh Brolin play the younger version of Jones and actually surprised me with having the same deadpan style and movement and is not at all that bad trying to mimick the older and more known Jones. The film also go back to a more grounded film with less CGI and over-the-top aliens and the film gets better for it even if it clearly has a budget that is smaller than the two first films. The story itself though with the ending is no surprise but this was the sequel that we should have had the first time around.
A man is trapped inside his apartment with his memories of his girlfriend who has left him for good. Two gorgeous femme fatales visit and tempt him as he discover that one of them (the delicious Julia Schacht making a national stir in her debut role) love a man that can punch her face out while lovemaking. It is hardly original stuff as the twist is obvious few minutes into it.
Hardly any other movie has been more effective as a study on animal experiments as in this film about a military lab that train chimps in flying simulators so that they can learn how long someone can fly while exposed to radiation. The chimps act a lot better than the humans in this one and it was hard not to care about them when I was a kid. William Sadler also did a good slimy role as the doctor who test the poor animals out.
This silent "horror" drama about a man tormented by the sound of bells after he kills a wealthy Pole is a different take on Edgar Allan Poe's "The Black Cat". It is a visual interesting film with state-of-the-art effects for that time and has Boris Karloff (long before getting famous) recreating the role of Dr. Caligari, but the movie has sadly not dated that well and is predictable as it would have been unthinkable to let the bad guy get away with the crime in the 1920s.
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