Sort by: Showing 14 items
Decade: Rating: List Type:
3rd Rock from the Sun (1996)
Mrs. Sumner: May I take your coat?
Dick: If I can keep my pants.
Dick: So, how many times do I get to vote?
Registrar: One time.
Dick: And it doesn't matter that I'm brilliant?
Registrar: ... No.
Dick: Whats the point of having a democracy, if everybodys going to vote wrong?
Dick: Tommy, this is outrageous. The next time you set off the fire alarm, you'd damn well better start a fire first.
Sally: Come on Dick, let's go! We're going to a psychic.
Dick: You're going to a psychic? Why?
Sally: To help find Harry.
Dick: Harry's missing? Why did'nt anybody tell me?!
Vicky: Uh.. cause you knew?
Dick: I most certainly did not! Let's get going. Where are my car keys?
Tommy: They're in your hand.
Dick: Ah, found them. Now we can go. Let's get moving.. COME ON HARRY!
Sally: Dick Harry's missing?
Dick: WHAT?! MY GOD! Well why are we all just sitting around? We gotta go find Harry!
Vicky: Well we're going to the psychic, for help.
Dick: Good idea, I'll give you a ride. Where are my car keys?
Tommy: Check your hand, Dick!
Dick: Ah, there they are. Let's go. HARRY!
Sally: Dick.. are you okay?
Dick: I'm fine.
Tommy: Wait, you don't think this is some sort of punishment from the Big Giant Head for not sending in the status report?
Dick: (laughing) Oh, please! Did you hear that Harry? Harry? HARRY! GREAT! Harry has run off with my car keys!
A Bit of Fry & Laurie (1987)
Stephen: You have a daughter, I believe?
Hugh: Yeah. Yeah, Henrietta.
Stephen: Did he, did he? I'm sorry to hear that.
Stephen: When is this "birthday" of his?
Stephen: Yes, that's what I said. When's the day?
Stephen: In plain-flavoured English. When ... is ... your ... son's birthday?
Hugh: W ... the day after Tuesday.
Stephen: The day after Tuesday. Doctors are so specific these days, aren't they? And are you expecting him to be a boy or a girl?
Stephen: A glass of water?
Hugh: No, thank you.
Stephen: A cup of water?
Stephen: A plate of water, then?
Hugh: Thank you, no. Just a model aeroplane.
Stephen: A model aeroplane of water?
Hugh: Just the model and I suppose some glue.
Stephen: Oh dear. Glue. So your son is already a drug jockey.
Stephen: Ah. Well let me explain, Tony. But let me first ask whether you notice anything unusual about the office?
Hugh (Tony): The window, of course! The window always used to be slightly further to the left.
Stephen: Not quite, Tony.
Hugh (Tony): Oh. It was a bit of a guess, actually.
Stephen: Oh no, I don’t listen. I just wait until you’ve finished so I can tell you to piss off.
Blackadder Goes Forth (1989)
Baldrick: I have a cunning plan.
Blackadder: Come on George, with fifty thousand men getting killed a week, who's gonna miss a pigeon!? [shoots the pigeon]
[when Melchett realizes Blackadder shot his pet pigeon, Speckled Jim]
Melchett: Speckly?! AH! YOU SHOT MY SPECKLED JIM!
Darling: You're for it now, Blackadder! Quite frankly, sir, I've suspected this for some time; clearly Captain Blackadder has been ignoring orders with a breathtaking impertinence!
Melchett: I DON'T CARE IF HE'S BEEN ROGERING THE DUKE OF YORK WITH A PRIZE-WINNING LEEK! HE SHOT MY PIGEON!!!
Blackadder: I spy, with my bored little eye... something beginning with "T."
Baldrick: My breakfast always begins with tea. Then I have a little sausage. Then a egg with some little soldiers.
George: Um... I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with "R."
Blackadder: FOR GOD'S SAKE, BALDRICK! "Army" starts with an "A"! He's talking about something with an "R"! [trills the R]
Baldrick: A motorbike starts with a Rrrrr!
George: Good Lord, you're quite right sir, it says "mine". So, these mushrooms must belong to the man who made the map.
Blackadder: Either that, or we're in the middle of a mine-field.
George: So what do we do if we happen to trot on a mine?
Blackadder: Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet into the air and scatter yourself over a wide area.
Mike Donovan: Hail Mary, full of grace, the lord...
Dexter: [Slaps him] Stop, that never helped anybody.
Dexter: I'm thankful for yams.
Arthur Mitchell: Yams?
Dexter: Comfort food. Thank you all for the comfort of your home
Arthur Mitchell: Where no one said they were thankful for me. Did you Jonah? Did you say you were thankful for me Jonah? What was that?
Jonah Mitchell: I did not say I was thankful for you, beacuse I'm not
Sally Mitchell: I am SO thankful for you Arthur
Arthur Mitchell: Shut up cunt!
Fawlty Towers (1975)
Basil: Right, well I'll go and have a lie down then. No I won't; I'll go and hit some guests.
Sybil: [on the phone] I know... I know... I know... Oh, I know!
Basil: Then why is she telling you?
Basil: Manuel, go and get me a hammer
Basil: A... hammer
Manuel: Ahhhhh, a hammer sandwich!
Basil: Oh, must we go through this every time? A hammer.
Manuel: You want to see my hamster?
Basil: No, not your hamster. How could I knock a nail in with a hamster? Well... I could try, couldn't I?
Basil: I'll get a hhhammer and hhhit you on the hhhead with it.
House M.D. (2004)
House: It's not what you think! I know it looks like we're cleaning dishes, but actually, we're having sex.
Jeeves & Wooster (1990)
Jeeves: Indeed, sir.
Little Britain (2003)
Lou: Andy, how did you get up there?
Andy: I fell
Daffyd: I am the only gay in the village.
Narrator: I've always wanted to write a book, but unfortunately I don't have a pen.
Carol Beer: The computer says no.
Monty Python's Flying Circus (1969)
Father: Oh dear, I'm bored ... I'd better go and have a bath.
Tony: Oh, but surely he simply shot himself and then hid the gun.
Mrs. Premise: I just spent four hours burying the cat.
Mrs. Conclusion: Four hours to bury a cat?
Mrs. Premise: Yes - it wouldn't keep still.
Mrs. Conclusion: Oh, it wasn't dead, then?
Mrs. Premise: No, no, but it's not at all well, so as we were going to be on the safe side.
Mrs. Conclusion: Quite right, you don't want to come back from Sorrento to a dead cat.
Fourth Bruce: Michael Baldwin, Bruce. Michael Baldwin, Bruce. Michael Baldwin, Bruce.
First Bruce: Is your name not Bruce?
Michael: No, it's Michael.
Second Bruce: That's going to cause a little confusion.
Third Bruce: Mind if we call you "Bruce" to keep it clear?
Prison Break (2005)
T-Bag: This picture makes me look like some kinda sociopath.
Abruzzi: Maybe the Beatles were right... maybe all we need is love.
Bellick: Where's the money?
T-Bag: You wanna know where the money is? I spend it last night on yo mama!
Man at airport: That is heavy, what you got in there?
T-Bag: About 75lbs of none of your business, Pedro!
Ripping Yarns (1976)
Eric Olthwaite: It were hard to accept I were boring. Especially with my interest in rain fall.
Janitor: You seem unhappy. I like that.
Janitor: Some hooligan keeps disconnecting the alarm. I told Security to look into it. But no, no, they'd rather catch the guy who's stealing organs from the transplant ward.
Ted: It's my birthday.
Ted: 312 times 481 equals...
Ted: [frustrated] Sir, it's not giving me the answer!
Dr. Kelso: It's a typewriter, you jackass.
Ted: [tie is stuck in typewriter] Oh God, it's got my tie!
[falls to the floor with typewriter]
Janitor: [answering the emergency phone] Batcave!
Six Feet Under (2001)
Ruth: David, are you bringing a special friend to dinner?
David: Why are my friends always 'special'?
Ruth: Okay, then, is the man you're having sex with coming to dinner?
David: Hi. You've reached David and Keith but we can't come to the phone right now because we're too GAY.
Nikolai: ... amen. Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy.
The Middle (2009)
Frankie: We're not rich enough to get a divorce. So we're gonna have to have a fight.
Axl: Eskimos aren't even real. They're just in stories like leprechauns and trolls.
Mike: Oh, and you know, if you keep on whispering to yourself... Santa's not gonna bring you any presents.
People who voted for this also voted for
Top 10 TV Shows Saved by Fans
30 Days, 30 Shows
All-Star Car Race/Chase Movie
BradWesley123's Television Journal- June 2017
My favorite TV shows of all genres
30 days, 30 shows
SFG¿mystic - The Ultimate List
My Favorite Characters
Death by ...
Great Actors 2-The Potential
My Top 10 Favourite TV Shows
My Favorite TV shows of All Time!
What I'm currently watching
More lists from Maary
My Vinyl Collection
Favourite Movie Quotes
The Evolution of Ed O'Neill
Rewatched in 2012
The "The Middle" Cast
Favourite Album Covers
Want to read