British Comedy: Love Soup

Years: 2005-2008
Broadcaster: BBC
Genre: Comedy Drama
Written by: David Renwick
Stars: Tamsin Greig, Montserrat Lombard
Episodes: 18
Episode Average: 5.889

BEST EPISODES:
Dream Twister (2008), Smoke and Shadows (2008)

SERIES ONE

(2005)
6 episodes
Series Score: 38
Episode Average: 6.33
Perfect 10's: 0

S1E1

THERE MUST BE SOME WAY OUT OF HERE

Originally broadcast: 27 September 2005
Directed by: Christine Gernon
Written by: David Renwick

Alice is furious when she finds the estate agent's bra in her washer dryer, her colleague points out that a quirky customer is obviously smitten, and Gil tells a TV producer that he was jilted when he first moved to England.

"Just the name I suppose. Tends to stick in your mind, doesn't it? Rush & Butcher. Makes you think of Stalin's death camps."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

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S1E2

DEATH AND NURSES

Originally broadcast: 4 October 2005
Directed by: Christine Gernon
Written by: David Renwick

Gil panics when his neighbour spots him spying on her in the bathroom, Alice is worried when her godson sends her a potentially suggestive text, and the inability to say no leads to an extremely awkward dinner party.

"Oh, well, come on, you're not going to find the most sensible advice, are you, on a page like this? What's your horoscope say?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

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S1E3

THE REFLECTING POOL

Originally broadcast: 11 October 2005
Directed by: Christine Gernon
Written by: David Renwick

Alice finds herself dealing with secret sex tapes and an offensive speech, Irene discovers that her perfect fit comes in the shape of a dustman, and Gil decides to go out on a blind date when he receives a letter from a fan.

"Well, then where does 'shite' come in? I always thought 'shite' and 'shit' were the same, but someone said that 'shit' was less shocking than 'shite', which to me, I'm sorry, is bollocks."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

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S1E4

THEY DO NOT MOVE

Originally broadcast: 18 October 2005
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

Gil's horrified when he's asked to see a new version of Waiting for Godot,
Lloyd leaves him little choice but to go on a date with a sexy actress, and Alice discovers the truth about an old friend's inappropriate relationship.

"Are you serious? And say what? 'Hello, I'm Gil Raymond. How'd you like to toss my nice, chunky part around?' What is this, Carry On Up the Casting Couch?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

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S1E5

TAKE FIVE

Originally broadcast: 25 October 2005
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

A neighbour tells Alice that her boyfriend has been fantasising about her, Cleo explains what happened when somebody tried to steal her car, and Gil's invited to be a part of the writing team for a dodgy new sitcom pilot.

"Is that right? God! And is s that what I've been doing? I'm so sorry. Pulling his trigger in the mornings."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

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S1E6

WAR IS HECK

Originally broadcast: 1 November 2005
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

Alice agrees to help her cousin's daughter when her mum goes to prison,
Irene reveals that she has decided to give her marriage another go, and Bob's elderly mother asks for Gil to go and see her at the nursing home.

"Well, that was a complete waste of time. I've made myself feel totally sick now. You should never and try and achieve ecstacy on top of Horlicks."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

SERIES TWO

(2008)
12 episodes
Series Score: 68
Episode Average: 5.67
Perfect 10's: 1

S2E1

SMOKE AND SHADOWS

Originally broadcast: 1 March 2008
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

Milly explains how a rather interesting silhouette ended her relationship, Cleo reveals that the new area manager is rumoured to be a lesbian, and Alex's driving instructor asks her for some tips on how to pleasure a lady.

"I've had quite enough dramas this week as it is, chauffeuring knife-wielding maniacs all over the shop. He didn't even give me a tip."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

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S2E2

INTEGRATED LOGISTICS

Originally broadcast: 8 March 2008
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

Alice is encouraged to talk to a man she keeps seeing at a cash machine, a trip to the country introduces her to the important women in his life, and Cleo sets a honey trap to find out if Milly's boyfriend can be faithful.

"Mow if you could just refrain from telling hum she's got a penis, that would really be the icing on the cake, don't you think?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

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S2E3

DREAM TWISTER

Originally broadcast: 15 March 2008
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

Cleo and Milly reveal what happened when they tried out speed dating, Alice helps out a friend who is being stalked by one of his students, and
a dinner with three strangers turns out to be even worse than expected.

"Yes, all right. Don't rub it in. I suppose it's coming to something when the only way I can get any action is to pose as a sexual decoy. I think that was a low spot me, even for me."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

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S2E4

THE MENACED ASSASSIN

Originally broadcast: 22 March 2008
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

A visit to the local recycling centre proves to be a huge turn on for Cleo,
a woman who lives with two men reveals that she is cheating on them, and Alice gets into trouble when she accidentally picks up the wrong bag.

"'Cause it's like we're all so completely cool now about bra straps and thongs all poking out, let's open up another great gaping window into our underwear. Call me an old fuddy-duddy but the day they took those little covers off the bottoms of piano legs, that's when the rot set in."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

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S2E5

RAGGED CLAWS

Originally broadcast: 29 March 2008
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

Cleo and Milly fight it out for the attentions of a lad from the stockroom, Alice has to choose between two men who come along at the same time, and a PA makes things easier when she calls in to arrange a supper date.

"Yeah, so-so. Thanks. Finally got around to cleaning out the fridge at long last. Talk about disgusting. There must have been new cures for syphilis in that cheese dish, for a start."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

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S2E6

SOPHISTICATED LADY

Originally broadcast: 5 April 2008
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

Cleo and Milly check out the availability and suitability of the male staff, Alice is forced to confront a new girl about her issues with the truth, and a dog needs to be rehomed when his depressed owner commits suicide.

"...Is that you come over all the while as so negative."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

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S2E7

GREEN WIDOW

Originally broadcast: 12 April 2008
Directed by: Christine Gershon
Written by: David Renwick

Milly reveals that she's volunteered for hardcore pornography research, a focus group find very little to like when they see Gil's sitcom pilot, and Alice is utterly gobsmacked when an actor invites her to a film premiere.

"So that was that. I had to stand there and watch the two of them having sellotape sex. In my own sitting room."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

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S2E8

LOBOTOMY BAY

Originally broadcast: 19 April 2008
Directed by: Christine Gershon
Written by: David Renwick

Alice demands to know how her private life got around the whole store, Milly finds herself being stalked by a creep she met on the internet, and Douglas is disappointed when a media tycoon offers him a writing job.

"It's him again, isn't it? Wolf! Well, that's it, I'm afraid. I've stopped feeling sorry for him now, and his false eye and everything. I've got to have it out."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

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S2E9

KISS OF DEATH

Originally broadcast: 26 April 2008
Directed by: Christine Gershon
Written by: David Renwick

Milly and Cleo fall out when an innocent comment is seen as flirtatious, Douglas finds himself filming an obituary for a comedian who isn't dead, and a necrophiliac makes Alice question her role in her own relationship.

"You know, a guided tour of your moral universe would be a fascinating experience one of these days."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

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S2E10

WHOSE GOD IS IT ANYWAY?

Originally broadcast: 3 May 2008
Directed by: Christine Gershon
Written by: David Renwick

Alice spots something while at a dubbing session for a lesbian sex scene, Douglas struggles to come to terms with the end of his relationship, and Fae's dying father asks for a very small favour ahead of his wedding day.

"And am I dropping my pants now, Dilly, at the beginning?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

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S2E11

HUMAN ERROR

Originally broadcast: 10 May 2008
Directed by: Christine Gershon
Written by: David Renwick

Fae decides to get revenge on the woman who once stole her boyfriend, Lloyd's internet browsing history shows something incredibly worrying, and a dead prostitute throws a spanner in Douglas's new film project.

"Oh, well, I don't know. Last time I tried some of this stuff, a few years ago now, I got in a right state with myself, coming home from a party. Ended up confessing my sins in a photo booth on St. Pancras station at three in the morning."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

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S2E12

HOME

Originally broadcast: 17 May 2008
Directed by: Christine Gershon
Written by: David Renwick

Alice knows it's all over when Douglas doesn't get in touch from Tuscany, Lloyd reveals that a phone call stopped him from taking his own life, and a barman tells of how he's had to deal with a devastating loss of his own.

"Gives a whole new meaning to the word starfu... No, I'd better not make that joke, had I?"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 3

ALICE
CHENERY

Played by Tamsin Greig
18 episodes (2005-2008)
in... The Reflecting Pool (S1E3)

MILLY
RUSSELL

Played by Montserrat Lombard
17 episodes (2005-2008)
in... Smoke and Shadows (S2E1)

CLEO
MARTIN

Played by Sheridan Smith
15 episodes (2005-2008)
in... Integrated Logistics (S2E2)

LLOYD
DREWITT

Played by Owen Brenman
8 episodes (2005-2008)
in... Green Widow (S2E7)

GIL
RAYMOND

Played by Michael Landes
6 episodes (2005)
in... War Is Heck (S1E6)

IRENE
ANDREWS

Played by Trudie Styler
5 episodes (2005)
in... Take Five (S1E5)

FAE
MADDISON

Played by Amelia Curtis
5 episodes (2008)
in... Lobotomy Bay (S2E8)

DOUGLAS
McVITIE

Played by Mark Heap
5 episodes (2008)
in... Who's God Is It Anyway? (S2E10)

BOB
ANDREWS

Played by Brian Protheroe
3 episodes (2005)
in... There Must Be Some Way Out of Here (S1E1)