24 hours of horror w/ Brendon Small
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Poltergeist (1982)
8p.m. - "I started out with some of my favorite horror. Great ghost stories: I put that before slashers, before suspense. And the first scariest thing I ever experienced as a kid would had to have been Poltergeist....
I love Tobe Hooper anyway, even though they say Spielberg pretty much directed that movie himself. But that movie is so great, because it did something that horror failed to do constantly, as long as weāre actually talking about horror films, and not in a smarmy, smart, sarcastic way. That movie does something thatās great: It actually creates a world that is believable. That suburban house with that family is so believable. And the first 20 minutes or so is just the family going through its life. So when things start getting strange, they really start getting strange, because we believe that to be us. They do such an amazing job making this house feel like itās lived in, the construction thatās going on, the pool theyāre building, all that stuff. That suburban neighborhood, the neighbor with the same channel-changer, on the same frequency as his. Just all those little tiny things did so much to make that world believable."
I love Tobe Hooper anyway, even though they say Spielberg pretty much directed that movie himself. But that movie is so great, because it did something that horror failed to do constantly, as long as weāre actually talking about horror films, and not in a smarmy, smart, sarcastic way. That movie does something thatās great: It actually creates a world that is believable. That suburban house with that family is so believable. And the first 20 minutes or so is just the family going through its life. So when things start getting strange, they really start getting strange, because we believe that to be us. They do such an amazing job making this house feel like itās lived in, the construction thatās going on, the pool theyāre building, all that stuff. That suburban neighborhood, the neighbor with the same channel-changer, on the same frequency as his. Just all those little tiny things did so much to make that world believable."
the giraffe's rating:

The Exorcist (1973)
10p.m. - "Iām going to put that on next, because itās a classic, and I want to get some of these classics out of the way before I get into just absurdity and stupidity. Iāll have a lot of palate-cleansers....
I think compositionally, musically⦠I think about that movie often, because it sets a really great tone. And because Iām a film nut, I remember from the commentary, William Friedkin talking about louds and quiets throughout the whole movie. Thatās how comedy works, and how horror works too. Thatās how death metal works, and thatās how great music works. Contradictory sections. And that movie definitely has great contradictory sections, where things are incredibly quiet, then incredibly loud.
The other thing is the believability of that world. Itās not something we can totally understand. The father has gone away somewhere, and the mother is a famous actor. Where do I fit in? I donāt know. But the relationship between the mother and daughter is really real, and the acting is so believable and understated. And itās filmed like a European art film."
I think compositionally, musically⦠I think about that movie often, because it sets a really great tone. And because Iām a film nut, I remember from the commentary, William Friedkin talking about louds and quiets throughout the whole movie. Thatās how comedy works, and how horror works too. Thatās how death metal works, and thatās how great music works. Contradictory sections. And that movie definitely has great contradictory sections, where things are incredibly quiet, then incredibly loud.
The other thing is the believability of that world. Itās not something we can totally understand. The father has gone away somewhere, and the mother is a famous actor. Where do I fit in? I donāt know. But the relationship between the mother and daughter is really real, and the acting is so believable and understated. And itās filmed like a European art film."
the giraffe's rating:

12a.m. - "Again, some of these are not in any particular order. But Iām going to go with something really stupid. Palate-cleanser. There a lot of things that make things horrible. Just a horrible script sometimes, horrible acting. Sometimes a horrible sequel. In this case, Iāve picked Eddie And The Cruisers II....
I think if you watch things that are good all the time, then you start to go, āOh yeah, well, thatās oneās great too.ā Itās like living your lifeāIām healthy, Iām fine, and then I get a cold every once in a while, and I go, āOh, right! I forgot how good I had it before!ā And thatās what Eddie And The Cruisers II does. It reminds you that you were much better off before."
I think if you watch things that are good all the time, then you start to go, āOh yeah, well, thatās oneās great too.ā Itās like living your lifeāIām healthy, Iām fine, and then I get a cold every once in a while, and I go, āOh, right! I forgot how good I had it before!ā And thatās what Eddie And The Cruisers II does. It reminds you that you were much better off before."
Sleepaway Camp (1983)
2a.m. - "Thatās a good one to wake you up. Unfortunately, some people have ruined the surprise to that movie, so if you know the surprise, donāt ruin it for your friends. It presents itself as a slasher movie, but it ends up being a little bit more. [Laughs.] You donāt see it coming unless your friend ruins it for you.
Itās basically a murder-by-numbers, so youāre still lining them up and killing them. There are some slasher films that I think are really fantastic, and there are some that are in one ear, out the other, and thatās why you can make 13 of them and go, āHey, yeah, we still got plenty of story to tell.ā Because there is no story to tell. But this one presents itself as a slasher and has one of the most bold, fucked-up twist endings Iāve seen in a movie."
Itās basically a murder-by-numbers, so youāre still lining them up and killing them. There are some slasher films that I think are really fantastic, and there are some that are in one ear, out the other, and thatās why you can make 13 of them and go, āHey, yeah, we still got plenty of story to tell.ā Because there is no story to tell. But this one presents itself as a slasher and has one of the most bold, fucked-up twist endings Iāve seen in a movie."
the giraffe's rating:

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)
4:30a.m. - "Thereās something very wrong about this movie. Itās with the kid from The Facts Of Life, [Mackenzie Astin]. This is one of those movies that doesnāt function as a horror film in any way whatsoever.... I donāt really have much to say, other than this is another palate-cleanser, and this is so stupid, but you may thank me for reminding you of this movie. And itās available on DVD. In the bargain bin."
Hostel (2006)
6:30a.m. - "...this movie, itās amazing. The major dialogue, the exposition, just stops [after a certain point]. It becomes almost a silent film. And he works so hard. His movie beforehand, Cabin Fever, was a really fun movie. What was Eli Roth, like 26 when he made that? Obviously heās got a lot of energy, and he cares about what heās doing. And that movie was fun, but this movie⦠I thought the score and the camera work were outstanding....I think you forget that that really is some of the most brutal slashing and killing and slaying and defingering and whatever that has happened in a movie.
There are Hitchcock moments. Thereās a lot of craftsmanship. That was the thing that really attracted me. You see fight sequences and horror sequences and remakes of old John Carpenter movies, and it really is just slash/dab coverage chip-chopped together. But this guy, you can tell, boarded everything. There is no doubt in my mind that he knew exactly how every shot was going to happen before he got there. "
There are Hitchcock moments. Thereās a lot of craftsmanship. That was the thing that really attracted me. You see fight sequences and horror sequences and remakes of old John Carpenter movies, and it really is just slash/dab coverage chip-chopped together. But this guy, you can tell, boarded everything. There is no doubt in my mind that he knew exactly how every shot was going to happen before he got there. "
the giraffe's rating:

The Funhouse (1981)
8a.m. - "Iām going to keep going with horrorāFunhouse. I watched that again recently. Tobe Hooper. I love this movie. First off, they just donāt make movies that look like that anymore. I think itās the film stock, itās those lens flares and all that stuff Spielberg used in the early ā80s. Theyāre all over E.T. Iām a sucker for lens flares. The way this film looks, all the night shots, all the lights around the actual carnival, itās just a really cool, moody film."
the giraffe's rating:

Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)
9:30a.m. - "My buddies Tim [Heidecker] and Eric [Wareheim] loaned me a copy of this one, but I saw a trailer of this on YouTube, and I became fascinated by it. It largely borrows from The Birds. Itās a story of a man making his own film. And itās great. Watch the trailer if you canāt get a copy.... Itās a movie about environmental consciousness. Youāll get that. At one point, just like in The Birds, theyāll turn. But in this movie, these birds are computer-generated. In animation, we talk about frame cycles, and I think this is a two-frame cycle, like wings up and wings down. [Laughs.] āItās a bird, right? You get the idea!ā Itās like when youāre fascinated with the idea of making films early on, and you are like, āYeah weāll get some bird sound effects, some cawing, etc.ā But they just reuse the same bird sample over and over again. They didnāt find some other bird sample, so you start to become very accustomed to this one sample."
Battlefield Earth (2000)
11a.m. - " It has all the illusions, all the accoutrements of a horror film. Itās got a big scary monster. Maybe fast-forward through it a little bit. I was very excited to see this movie. I thought, āTheyāre doing it, theyāre really doing it. And look at those monsters! Whoaaaaah! Those donāt look so good. But this must be what they want. This took like what, 10 years in the making?ā But they really do look like a rock band, GWAR or something like that. Which is kind of awesome. But they donāt have guitars. Most movies would be so much better if the characters all had big electric guitars. This is one of them.
...I have a very strong stomach for terrible films that go nowhere, and every single shot is a Dutch angle. The acting in that⦠These are all great actors. Forest Whitaker won an Oscar. Heās an amazing actor. Travolta is a great actor. But these decisions they made, these choices and inflections⦠āRat-brain!ā And these long laughs, where they throw their heads back. I think there are two kinds of directors. Thereās the kind of director who directs you into that place. And then thereās the kind of director who just sits down and has coffee and a doughnut and stares at the monitor and shrugs, and goes, āYeah, thatās fine.ā I think either of those two directors could have made this film."
...I have a very strong stomach for terrible films that go nowhere, and every single shot is a Dutch angle. The acting in that⦠These are all great actors. Forest Whitaker won an Oscar. Heās an amazing actor. Travolta is a great actor. But these decisions they made, these choices and inflections⦠āRat-brain!ā And these long laughs, where they throw their heads back. I think there are two kinds of directors. Thereās the kind of director who directs you into that place. And then thereās the kind of director who just sits down and has coffee and a doughnut and stares at the monitor and shrugs, and goes, āYeah, thatās fine.ā I think either of those two directors could have made this film."
Dead Alive (1992)
1p.m. - "This is a movie I grew up loving. Dead Alive is⦠I donāt think thereās one dull moment. Every single frame of this has some fucked-up, weird thing going on. Him taking care of his mother, whoās clearly a zombie. The baby. And at the very end, itās the lawnmower he usesāwhich is probably one of the more brutal things youāll see in a movie, because he uses the open end to kill around a hundred people. And thatās Peter Jackson. Goofing off. Having fun."
the giraffe's rating:

3p.m. - "Iāve got some movies where you can just fast-forward to certain parts. The Sentinel: Just fast-forward to the end. Itās a story thatās slow-moving, but then at some point⦠The big blow-out is that they hired real freaks, like in the movie Freaks, people with strange facial deformities that are semi-nude all kind of wandering around in a dark room, and you just see bits and pieces of them and you go, āOkay, thatās pretty strange.ā Thatās The Sentinel. Thatās why the movieās famous."
the giraffe's rating:

Troll 2 (1990)
3:15p.m. - "This is another one. This is one I show tons of people, and I donāt know if itās hacky at this point, but⦠In great bad sequels, it just kind of missed the mark of the original. I havenāt seen the documentary about it, Best Worst Movie. Iād seen parts of it on cable, and was reminded about it about five years ago. And then I went on tour with the band Chimaira. Chimaira is a bunch of guys from Ohio. They were fascinated with this film. I in turn introduced them to The Room. We switched movies on this tour, and they showed me Troll 2. I immediately fell in love."
4:45p.m. - "I think for children, the idea of divorce is the scariest thing in the world. My parents stayed together, though I tried to send them divorce papers several times. I tried to perform a citizensā divorce. It didnāt work. Great movie. Terrifying. When he breaks the glass, and that French-toast sequence⦠Great movie. Itās a palate-cleanser. That, or You Can Count On Me. You can choose."
the giraffe's rating:

6:45p.m. - "I hate when my things are clichĆ©, but I think this is one of the best movies. I canāt think of a movie that tried to get inside a serial killerās mind before that. Can you think of any?
AVC: I liked Manhunter, but Anthony Hopkins in Silence Of The Lambs⦠You kind of understand who this person is and where heās coming from, and thatās terrifying.
BS: It really is. Jonathan Demme did such a great job making it terrifying and believable. If you remember what Hannibal Lecter was in the book, I think he had six fingers and red eyes. They made him a monster. And Demme did what he could to make every single part of it believable. It wasnāt fantastical, even though this guy was building a dress from women. It was all real enough in this world to be scary."
AVC: I liked Manhunter, but Anthony Hopkins in Silence Of The Lambs⦠You kind of understand who this person is and where heās coming from, and thatās terrifying.
BS: It really is. Jonathan Demme did such a great job making it terrifying and believable. If you remember what Hannibal Lecter was in the book, I think he had six fingers and red eyes. They made him a monster. And Demme did what he could to make every single part of it believable. It wasnāt fantastical, even though this guy was building a dress from women. It was all real enough in this world to be scary."
the giraffe's rating:

From an Onion AV Club article, where they asked Metalocalypse creator Brendon Small what he'd watch for a 24-hour horror marathon. Read the full thing here: onion.com/9sW00B
www.listal.com/person/brendon-small
www.listal.com/person/brendon-small
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