Muscle March Reviews

I first caught a glimpse of Muscle March back when it first released on Japan’s WiiWare store back in May of 2009. I saw a video and immediately frowned when I realized that there weren’t any plans to bring the game stateside at the time. It looked so completely bizarre that I wanted to play it...Badly. As time passed, Namco Bandai eventually made the call to bring the game to North America and I was very, very happy. So, after downloading and playing Muscle March, am I glad that they made it available out here? Well, yes and no.

The game itself is moderately fun. Basically, someone steals the protein powder of the loveable cast of bodybuilders, so you have to chase the culprit around town. In an attempt to lose the bodybuilders, the thief poses as he crashes through walls, forcing those in pursuit (which would be you) to strike the same pose in order to make it through the wall without any issues. In other words, it’s basically a game of simon says that requires reflexes that progressively get faster as the level goes on...And that’s where the problems start.



Like many games on the Wii, the motion controls absolutely suck. Just because you have quick enough of reflexes to strike the correct pose in time, it doesn’t mean that you actually will. I’ve noticed that it’s pretty frequent that when going from one pose from another, the game has the character I’m controlling do two or three different poses before it finally settles on the one I’m doing...And nine times out of ten, this results in my character crashing through a wall. When playing by yourself, this can become very frustrating very fast....And it happens a LOT. It happens so much, in fact, that it is almost the sole reason for the score being so low in this review. The other reasons, which are partially responsible for the low score are the size of the game (you can probably beat it in mere minutes) and the lack of variety, as all you’re doing is the same simon says-type gameplay through the entire game.

The only time that the poor motion controls seem to be bearable (pun intended, in regards to Rossi, the cheerful, bodybuilder polar bear of the game) is when you’re playing multiplayer with other people...Mainly because they’re experiencing the same problems that you are, which helps nullify some of the frustration that you’d experience when playing alone. The multiplayer also adds a significant amount of replay value to the game. I can’t see anyone playing this game by themselves for any longer than an hour before they’d be done. When playing with friends, the game stays fun longer...And the oddball concept just seem to make the game feel more fun than it actually is, which may have you and your friends playing longer than you might think.



When it comes to graphics, the game just kind of oozes visual style. It’s full of bright colors and objects and creatures roaming around the levels that make no sense. For a downloadable title, I thought the graphics were really well done. The levels were designed well too...The game is as much fun to watch and look at the weird stuff going on in the backgrounds as it is to play, which is a good thing in my book. The audio just adds to the overall feel of the game, with a custom Japanese soundtrack that really wouldn’t fit any serious game about bodybuilders, but easily fits the story, characters, and game as a whole in Muscle March. For a downloadable game, I really feel that this game is done really well cosmetically.

So, in the end, even at its low, 500 point price tag, Muscle March is probably only worth a download for fans of the odd and absurd, like myself. The gameplay is moderately fun, but it just plain doesn’t last. The multiplayer aspect of the game makes the fun last a little longer, but without a whole lot to do, it just doesn’t last. If the motion controls were done a little better, then maybe I’d bump the score up a little bit...But unfortunately in a game where controls need to be precise, I can’t really give a higher score to a game when they’re not. I really, really wanted to like this game. And as far as the personality and concept of the game goes, I absolutely love it....But the gameplay just needs a little work. With better controls and a few more gameplay modes, this would’ve been a really great download...Unfortunately, as it stands, most gamers are going to wish that these charming muscle-bound folks march right off of their gaming console so that they won’t have to play it again.