Mass Effect Reviews

A space opera on a grand scale. The joy of exploring distant galaxies and alien planets. All this with a memorable cast of characters, and a solid sci-fi setting. I love the little touches in this game, like the dialogue between your companions. In particular, I love the conversations between Talia and Wrex.

Mass Effect está situado en el año 2183. Treinta y cinco años antes, la humanidad descubrió un alijo de tecnología construido por una civilización tecnológicamente avanzada pero extinta. Esta raza se denominaba Proteanos. Gracias al estudio y adaptación de esta tecnología la Humanidad ha logrado salir del Sistema Solar y establecer numerosas colonias, además de encontrar a varias especies extraterrestres, todo esto en la Vía Láctea. La utilización de herramientas de tecnologia proteana, conocidos como Relés de Masa ha permitido a las diversas especies viajar instantáneamente a través de vastas extensiones de la Galaxia.
El juego tiene lugar principalmente en dos escenarios: El prototipo de fragata SSV Normandía y la Ciudadela, una gigantesca y antigua estación espacial supuestamente construida por los Proteanos y que actualmente actúa como centro de la civilización galáctica. Sin embargo, a lo largo del juego el jugador puede navegar, mediante la Normandía, a varios planetas, lunas y otros destinos.
En el juego la humanidad ha formado la Alianza de Sistemas Humanos, uno de los muchos organismos independientes que componen el colectivo del Espacio de la Ciudadela, este último es gobernado por un órgano conocido como el Consejo de la Ciudadela, que se compone de un miembro de cada una de las tres razas más poderosas y destacadas: Turianos, Asari y Salarianos.

I guess the only "bad" thing about this game is that it didn't give me any burning desire to play the sequel. But you know what? I like that. I feel like I won. :)

yeah-yeah-yeah, galactic invasion, I need a vacation. ;)

And, oh, BTW, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya is probably the best name I've ever heard in my life.

Other thoughts: I like the blue one better. ;)

And: "You can't bludgeon your way through bureaucracy, Commander."

"I can bludgeon pretty hard."

Other thoughts: The credits music is pretty epic, but I still think my favorite track is "Liara's World".

Also: It's a little funny how, everywhere you go, everyone knows your name is "Commander Shepard", *way* before you know what their name is. & Also: I think "Spectre" is such a great word, and such an awesome job title. I want my next job title to be "Spectre". Dreaming, I know.

And you know what else was epic? Listening to Liara explain History.

.....

P.S. And, yeah, when I was playing it, I was a bit of a completionist as usual (sp? lol), and I did give it a few replays, sure.

And, ha--'Wrex'--Rex. :P

It's funny, though, if I got thrown into this sorta thing again, I might not like Wrex...or Ashley...or the Turian dude....or Wrex. Or Ashley. Or Wrex.

It was funny how the Turian dude--I honestly don't remember everyone's name--when he talked to you, he was always like--Oh, yeah. Always shoot first: and don't bother counting the bodies. I wonder if he really meant it; he was so soft-spoken. All I know is that I usually agreed with him...mostly to be polite and cut short the philosophy discusion....

And, you know, when he shot the guy, I would just say, Good job, or something, and he was all like, "Sometimes you get lucky." That was kinda nice. Better than getting all paranoid with him.

....And Talia...I mean, Tali, was a pretty cool kid, although, irl, I'd totes abuse my authority by ordering her to find some way to take off that damn mask--oh? Your life support? Boo hoo. You're in Engineering, dammit--find a way. And if I can't trust you with this....who knows what else...? (&I'd totes make it up to her by buying her a totes awesome Find-my-People gift....or by ordering someone else to, either way).

They were a crazy crew down there in Engineering...and, like I said, Liara was a pretty nice girl, all nice and soft and blue, although, if I had it to do again, irl, I'd totes lock her out of the library. Probs fire half the crew, (well, you know what I mean, the party), and hire some normal people for her to hang out with....or maybe just abandon her in the Citadel commercial district with a big credit card--see what happens....

But, you know, you know that I didn't talk to Carth--not this time around. The girls got both of them--Bastila (female Shepard voice), and Carth (Bastila's boyfriend, LOLZ).

Whatever happened to that crazy chick from KOTOR II: "My life for yours." Although I was a little creeped out by that back then. Like...rly? Wow....anyway, I kinda liked Brianna a bit better....

And, lol, I'm Shepard, you're Talia, I mean, Tali.

And, yeah, the Rachni Wars, the Rachni Wars were....special. (And the Krogan are like, Russian.)

And, you know, I would always read the thing and listen to the people, and it always makes you think about something, but it's funny how that changes.

But, yeah, I'd fire Ashley and Wrex, (or get them married, lol), and assign the Turian to do a stint with Adrian Monk, back in the real world....for starters.

I think I'd also fire Joker, (you're leg is broken, and you're mean to me, good-bye), the doctor, (you're an old lady, and I don't like you anymore), and probs get a bunch of other people transferred somewhere else (just get rid of lots of people, so I can rid of anybody I want without anyone noticing).

And I'd hire a bunch of those little dudes, (you know, the little Council race?), no Turians, some Minions, and....some asari (secret-like).

And if that dude was like, Gah, why did you spend all that money buying engines? Gah....I would just be like. Dude. Walk. Away. The sun won't swallow the sky; statues will not cry...

Roads are long and oceans far and wide. ;)

.....

And, you know, I guess it's like BSG, and other stuff, too, *but*, I guess that was just ancient times for me. Now, in modern times, I like the ticket oak better than the Thorian.

I guess, nowadays, I play different kinds of juegos.

But, you know, just because I didn't give BioWare their own tag, doesn't mean that they're not some of the best RPG dudes around. And they have their own development too, and learning curves, and stepping stones, but I think that even their works that haven't been absolutely outstanding, or totally authentic, have helped them grow and reach better things. Bethesda is top-notch too, but obviously the BioWare guys are the masters of narrative in RPGs.

And, even though I burned out, and don't regret it, I'll admit that the final-battle-as-harbinger-of-new-invasion-crisis, nothing-like-before, is a pretty cool finale.

N.B. As a compulsive completionist, I tried both, but I sorta always thought that the human empire was a stupid idea. I did come to enjoy hanging up on the Council, however, and hanging up on them again when the asari bitched about it was even better. And I think that that was a big step for me--I, who once felt scandalized to learn that I was Revan, once upon a time. ('No, I'm Dan Staar!')

So, yeah. So.....yeah.

Sometimes I just like Balmora when it rains, y'know?

And the Special Sound it gives you when you win an XBox 360, Achievement.

Oh, and: the rep of the rich trade-race in the minority-aliens office was kinda fun to talk to. "Why doesn't the Council respect *our* races? Why don't they give us *political* power, even though all my moron constituents want to do is *trade*?" I enjoyed that at the time; I liked unraveling all the dialogue options like that.

But if I went back there again, I'd probs shoot him in the head....a couple of times. "You won't sound so smug with a hole in your head."

Man, I had to play that fight like, twenty times, before I finally realized that I had to do the others first unless I wanted to get pwned; that was bad. But rescuing Liara was kinda nice, and at least she didn't *blame* for helping her, the way that Bastila did....Ah, Bastila and Carth, I loved those guys. (I only wish I could have traded Mission and Zaalbaar once I got off of Taris.)

I should really stop, but...it would be so fun to post lots of random quotes here. Like, when the Thorian's asari bitch tells you to drop dead, and then decay and decompose, I was like, wow, the words, they're kinda nice. But then the Thorian zombies attacked me and that made me sad, especially when they came at me from behind. And, like, I knew that they were going to turn hostile, but I couldn't attack them until they activated, it was like that ghetto mission from Warcraft III with the culling of the villagers cause they're undead, and, anyway, the Thorian creepers were like, the hardest part of the whole game, I think. I died several times....and I even got interrupted for dinner once or twice. (They just didn't get it.) I did save all the villagers, on almost every play-thru. That was actually the easier part of it. Except when I was trying to rack up the baddie points. I did the Paragon points first, but then the next time around I tried to get the Renegade points too, to be complete-y and to activate the special dialogue because I was kinda curious and complete-y. I read the Codex too, to do it, and obviously I could see some things like the Krogan wars and the 20th century. N Stuff.

And, and you know what I liked: the Aleusk Valley; it was all wintery.

And Sovereign, yeah, Sovereign was kinda nice. *Insert any Sovereign quote for Instant Victory*.

And, you know, this review has some spoilers, but not all of them are even for the game I'm technically reviewing, so it's all good. And KOTOR is like, really old, anyway, it's as old as fucking Seinfeld, so if you don't know that you're Revan by now, you might as well get yourself a date with some time-machine girl with 80s hair, and get HK-47 to marry the two of you. :P

And, BTW: time is long and land is far away. ;)

But, yeah, anyway, I uh....I liked the characters and the plot. :)

.....

And, you know: "Commander Shepard, I know you're on important business for the Citadel Council, but humanity has discovered another planet for you to annihilate and/or discover worthless rocks in in your crappy souped-up Jeep."

"Wipe this pathetic planet from the face of the galaxy."

"And remember, Shepard, you were a human a long time before you were a Spectre."

I hate that guy, though; I wish I could have punched him myself. Oh, and the clubs were cool--Flux, and Chora's Den. ^^

{'These are warehouse workers; all the real guards must be dead.' *Five minutes later* 'Ok, Biff, where did you put the tapes?'}

And I didn't punch the reporter....but I'd have got her fired. ;)

And, and of course I did the romance plot--completionist!--but I didn't really realize that I could have implied sex with the Consort too. It's also too bad that I don't think I actually got the literal Achievement for Completionist, even though I did about a thousand side-quests that all used the same identical dungeon, and, yeah--I will destroy you! Enemies are everywhere! Go go go! I will destroy you! *I will destroy you*! Those hostiles, they're all so red and angry. Like those mutants, who are like, Eh, I don't wanna write a letter anymore....I wanna kidnap the guy! And the secret gang, and the lost ship, and the asari who lies...well, don't they all. ;) Anyway, maybe if I had found more of those worthless rocks and lame-o Prothean nonsense....and the giant grasshoppers who operated the Capital of the Universe and which even the British Salamians with their MI5 crap couldn't figure out.

And they couldn't even find the rogue agent, Sarris.

And it was funny, that guy who got shot in the beginning....well, I guess it wasn't *really* funny.

Oh well. In the end, I'm just a crazy.

Also, I was going to try to look up a quote for Din Korlaak and his funny anti-human racism, on the wiki, but I can see that ME 2 turned the whole thing on its head and added about 40 new Council races, and--the *volus* are NOT a Council race: they're a pack of two-and-a-half foot-high rodents that sell you gear and gossip about Noveria with you before you go there. They are *not* the people that you hang up on after the mission is over.

{It's just giving another vote to the Turians! *shakes fist* Earth must Stand Firm against the machinations of the Turians and their Volus lackeys....Terra Firma! *yeah*}

{Yeah....we need games that aren't dungeon-crawl political simulators....}

It's not like you need the hollow glory....the Adoring Fan....

I'm glad I didn't play the sequel.

And I was a human a long time before I was a Spectre.

......~

You know, I used to think of an "RPG" like this as being honestly different from Halo....

And it certainly isn't a *first* person shooter, now is it....

.... It's just as serene as the Peter Jackson games....

.... To be honest, everything with incessant bad manners starts to blend together after a certain point....

But, yeah.

I mean, the one of the big things with the "RPG" to distinguish it from the rocket-propelled-grenade, (only), stuff was that was that you actually got stuff, you got more of it, it wasn't just....

Well, there was loot, anyway. Loot. That's what we called it, right.

And it was just, gear. That's all that it really amounted to, gear.

And what is that....

"Lots of guns and potato chips".

So.....

I have a mental reservation now, at the very least.

(9/10)

"Mass Effect", is not a horrible game, It just doesn't appeal to me. The gameplay, is wierd, and not fun. The graphics are great, and the story line is excellent, but it is like a Halo type shooter, with the weird guns, and creatures, and such, and those kinds of games just aren't my cup of tea. I know those aren't very big aspects to a game, but it makes the game that much worse. I might have liked this game if the gameplay was changed around a lot.