Zero Punctuation

Silent Hill 2

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 20:13:49 GMT

Silent Hill 2 is very good at telling a story without words; everything is drenched in symbolism. The basic monsters are all suspiciously effeminate, with the exception of Pyramid Head (in his first appearance before he totally sold out), an uber-masculine powerhouse repeatedly seen plunging his massive, throbbing knife into the others monsters' moist quivering bodies (which obviously symbolises neo-conservative imperialism). You start to think that James's nightmare is entirely of his own creation, as if the town is handing him a set of jump leads and watching as he sticks them on his balls. It's a fascinating voyage of pain and despair that leaves you emotionally drained and satisfied... - Yahtzee Croshaw

Portal

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 20:13:54 GMT

I went in expecting a slew of interesting portal-based puzzles and that's exactly what I got. What I wasn't expecting was some of the funniest pitch black humor I've ever heard in a game. OK, it's only two to three hours long, but that's a good length for it, it means that it doesn't outstay its welcome, and it narrows the gap between you and the balls-tighteningly fantastic ending. Absolutely sublime from start to finish and I will jam forks into my eyes if I ever use those words to describe anything else ever again. - Yahtzee Croshaw

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 12:20:33 GMT

Spider-Man 2

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 12:20:42 GMT

Fantasy World Dizzy

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 12:20:52 GMT

This let's play is by Yahtzee.

Psychonauts

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 21:59:50 GMT

I'm just going to list out of context some of the things that occur in Psychonauts, a telekinetic bear, a dentist who harvests brains, a sequence wherein you become a giant Godzilla style monster and terrorize a society of talking fish, and a shadowy trench-coated government agent who disguises himself as a housewife by brandishing a rolling pin and talking disjointedly about pies. A game that features all of these things simply cannot be criticized. It's against the law or something. - Yahtzee Croshaw

The Orange Box

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 21:59:55 GMT

Prince of Persia 2: The Shadow and the Flame

Thu, 10 May 2012 10:13:19 GMT

The Secret of Monkey Island

Thu, 10 May 2012 10:14:57 GMT

Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge

Thu, 10 May 2012 10:15:03 GMT

Thief II: The Metal Age

Sun, 04 Nov 2012 14:40:12 GMT

BioShock

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 21:25:51 GMT

...2K's steampunk Objectivist philsophyfest BioShock. Now, there's a lot of criticism that can be leveled at [the protagonist]: he's a bitch, he's an alcoholic, he has some very strange ideas of how to treat small children. But all of this is countered by the fact that he has a magical hand that shoots bees. And that's why he takes the prize. Because no matter who you are, the moment you're compared to a magical hand that shoots bees you're going to fucking lose. - Yahtzee Croshaw

Saints Row 2

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 22:02:53 GMT

It wasn't until recently when Saints Row 2 came along that I remembered what a fun sandbox game is and isn't: What it isn't is brown, gritty and forced tutorials, and what it is is taking all your clothes off, hurling yourself out of a plane and landing ass-crack-first on a sunbather's face. Saints Row 2 might not be the smartest game in the world, but I had more fun with it than any other 2008 release, so I guess it had better be my game of the year - but don't let it go to your heads. - Yahtzee Croshaw

Batman: Arkham Asylum

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 19:40:21 GMT

Despite Batman walking pompously around like Gotham's grumpy dad, and dialogue that presumably came free with a script writing software, Arkham successfully balanced combat and stealth and managed to do the impossible by giving comic book nerds something they wouldn't be able to complain about. - Yahtzee Croshaw

Just Cause 2

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 19:32:10 GMT

...there were only two games this year that I wanted to keep playing after I'd reviewed them. Dead Rising 2... [and] Just Cause 2, an almost Garry's Mod-like bundle of free-roaming fun tied up in a loose but still involving gameplay structure in a world about twice the size of the entire universe. Any criticism I might have given it is drowned out by the terrified scream of an enemy soldier with one leg tied to a harrier jet. - Yahtzee Croshaw

Dead Rising 2

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 19:31:37 GMT

Ironing out Dead Rising 1 's sizable wrinkles of unreasonable difficulty and [stupid] A.I. ...Dead Rising 2 is on one level a uniquely colorful take on sandbox gameplay and on another a game in which you plow through crowds of squishy antagonists with many varieties of sharp things on the ends of sticks. - Yahtzee Croshaw

Red Dead Redemption

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 19:30:03 GMT

Rockstar's Old West odyssey might have suffered a little from a bit of kitchen sink approach to gameplay, a kitchen sink full of brown washing-up, but overall was like throwing yourself onto a mattress made of soft meringue: unstructured, but oddly satisfying. - Yahtzee Croshaw

Amnesia: The Dark Descent

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 19:29:53 GMT

[Amnesia: The Dark Descent is] another dismal, traumatizing experience... In a mainstream industry where "survival horror" now means "action adventure wherein monsters from the back page of H. R. Geiger's teenage sketch diary do the Charleston under neon disco lighting," Amnesia showed everyone how horror is done: unspeakable monstrosities half-glimpsed out of the corner of the eye, no means of self-defense besides a sprint function, and dolphin-unsafe tuna occasionally extruding from the walls.- Yahtzee Croshaw

Limbo

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 19:29:37 GMT

...a short but stark physics platformer as genuinely unnerving as Eastern European animation and best analogized as LittleBigPlanet visualized by a suicidal depressive. - Yahtzee Croshaw

Portal 2

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 20:49:03 GMT

Despite the single-player being a bit flabby and directionless and lacking in really meaty puzzles, let's face it: even the dodgiest Portal game stands head and shoulders above most of the dross that comes out. - Yahtzee Croshaw

Driver: San Francisco

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 20:49:16 GMT

"Surprisingly good" doesn't do it justice. It would have been surprisingly good if I'd gotten through it without slumping forward and nodding off with the analog sticks jammed up me nostrils. But its innovative car-hopping mechanic ensured a constant gameplay flow as smooth as a syrup enema, and the good writing is the rectal cork that seals the deal. Some people who are into driving games say the physics are bit crap, but speaking for people who aren't into driving games, I had great fun with this driving game, so shut your face. - Yahtzee Croshaw

Bastion

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 20:48:09 GMT

[Bastion is] a superlative example of how to mix gameplay and storytelling, combining intense isometric combat with a voice narration that will send rivulets of something shameful running down your thighs.

Infamous 2

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 20:47:45 GMT

...an engaging sandbox adventure, InFamous 2 actually provided an incredibly satisfying and appropriate ending, well, endings. And in today's "eyes on the long-term pay packet" industry, I respect that a lot. Of course, if they do go on to make an InFamous 3, I'm going to retroactively take this award away and give it to Minecraft or something. - Yahtzee Croshaw

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 20:46:32 GMT

...an epic dragon genocide that is admittedly a bit glitchy and broken, but it's kind of endearing for it, like a puppy accidentally pissing in its own face. I place it here to communicate to the industry in general that organic, open-ended, face-pissing gameplay is still preferable to being passed from set piece to set piece like the prison bitch. - Yahtzee Croshaw

Spec Ops: The Line

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 20:51:00 GMT

XCOM: Enemy Unknown

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 20:51:10 GMT

Far Cry 3

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 20:51:17 GMT

The Walking Dead

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 20:51:23 GMT

Dishonored

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 20:51:37 GMT