This movie is an insult to moustaches everywhere. Comparing them to pubic hair on a vagina as a rich source for humor is low brow. It's one of the many desperate attempts at molesting your funny bone in this crap caper comedy.
We're introduced to Charles Mortdecai, a snob Euro moustache art dealer. He becomes a detective of sorts when a secret agent named Alistair hires him to help find a stolen painting. The painting is special in that it has a bank account number scribbled on it that will open a safe filled with Nazi gold.
The movie chronicles Mortdecai in search for the painting. Meeting several "interesting" characters with his loyal man servant, Jock Strap. There's a subplot involving the secret agent Alistair who is love with Mortdecai's wife and several globe-trotting quests to fill in the time constraints of the plot. The humor is the type you'd find if you're trying to find humor. Sexual innuendo's while smutty especially when it involves Jock Strap's sex life tickle the pervy bone at times, but this forced and aggressively unfunny movie looked more fun to make then it is to sit and watch.
I say skip it unless you're a die hard Johnny Depp fan. As much as I like Johnny, he was intolerable to enjoy in this one. Another flop unfortunately.