The Hole is a “film” about a fatherless family facing their worst fears which come to them via a hole in their basement. A distant, over-worked mother wants nothing more than for her two sons, one a hormone raged teenager and the other a damaged adolescent, to get along and spend more time together. The teenager’s angst leads him to the company of a female companion, and together they fuck around and get got by the mysterious “darkness” of “The Hole.” There’s also a man named Creepy Carl. He steals the sketchpad of the teenager and tries to warn him with his artistic talent of the dangers that lurk below.
The responsibility of this film rests on the shoulders of Joe Dante, who is known for the original “Piranha” and “Gremlins” amongst others. This was not his best work. It was made for 3D, but paying twice as much as a normal ticket to see this movie in theaters would not have made me like it any more, but would have most certainly enraged me multiple times over.
I have a love for “bad” horror movies, but this one I just couldn’t get behind. Even the fears that came to get them weren’t that creative. The teenage girl let her childhood friend fall off a roller coaster and die. She was seriously like six when it happened and the brat who fell is still pissed? Come on. The little boy was afraid of clowns, and as he defeated his fear by throwing a doll through a fan blade, the camera pans to him sitting awkwardly in a box as he says, “I never did like clowns.” You can’t see me, but I’m rolling my eyes. The teenage boy was afraid of his “dad” beating him and his brother. Okay, hold the phones. We’re getting deep here, I know…but this is the most poorly executed play on heart strings ever. Nothing that happens in this movie makes you even kind of sympathetic to the notion of either of these children being beaten. The acting is terrible. Neither of them seem to care or show any legit fear of daddy dearest at all. Poorly done, good idea.
There were no artistic talents to be spoken well of as far as writing or any other cinematic creative licenses go, either.
This movie may be good to watch at a slumber party to scream at when you’re twelve, but it wouldn’t issue even the most fragile of them nightmares.
My official rating: **