Review of King Kong

Not as crazy for Kong's dong as others...

This movie made me actually want to get up and leave. I have never actually wanted to leave a film out of disgust before. I have hated movies, I have watched really fucking bad movies before, but this was terrible. It took everything I hate about Hollywood movies. It took bad angles, bad acting, bad motion cg, bad lighting, took a good budget and a good plot, and completely ruined it.

Never have I been so unhappy with a film. Naomi Watts looked and acted just like Nicole Kidmen, that is to say poorly, and Jack Black acted just like Jack Black. The supporting cast wasn't terrible, although they did over and under act accordingly. There was a terrible dinosaur race that didn't make any kind of sense, in that there were about 20 brontosaurus' running from 3 raptors. Only 4 people died and about 10 brontosaurus'. Yea. Plus, people punching raptors? And sending them flying? And people not getting squished by 60ft dinosaurs and not getting a concussion by being shook around like a nanny with a baby, not getting killed by falling down a 300ft cliff and ... I simply cannot list all of the inaccuracies and illogical melodrama that made this movie so terrible.

But not only was it terrible, but it disgusts me that this was rated pg. Not only do we see SEVENTEEN brutal murders, including people getting their head bitten off, and not including all those people Kong threw into walls, there was also a part where Kong TEARS OUT a T-rex's tongue, and then proceeds to tear his jaw apart and squish his head. This is not a pg movie. There was so much violence. It's obviously Peter Jackson making it a "family" rated film to get more bang for his buck.

Now, keeping all of this in mind, Naomi Watts took a page right out of "Birth" (another TERRIBLE film) with all the sad, thinking, and confused face close ups for 5 minutes each. She fell in love. With a gorilla. And that's not the bad part, I can totally understand that, and how if done well, it would be really effective. But no, Anne is not that kind of person. She doesn't bother trying to do anything except for yell at a few moments 'no'. She doesn't go and tell Jack Black that Kong is good and just wants to be left alone. She doesn't do anything. She goes away and leaves him and everyone she loves. Then she feels sad about it. But she doesn't do the right thing. She doesn't. She's not a good person. She makes a few futile attempts to do the right thing and gives up.

The only real emotion came from a cg rendering of Kong. No emotion was displayed by the actors that appropriately suited the situation.

Don't even download it to see how bad it is, don't waste your time. Go for a walk instead :P Don't waste over three hours of your life on this shit. I wish I could give it a 0.

:)

-The Dante Half

1/10

Added by Vergil x Dante 3 years ago
on 13 October 2009 12:09

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