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Nine Dead review
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Ninety Minutes in a room with Sabrina the Teenage

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First off let's get the elephant in the room out of the way. Nine Dead is Saw's little cousin's girlfriend's brother's best friend's script that came to fruition. Horror Porn is it's own genre now thanks to films like Saw, Hostel, Saw II, Cabin Fever, Saw III, The Hills have Eyes, Saw IV, Hatchet, Saw V, The Hills have Eyes 2, Saw VI, Wrong Turn, and Saw VII. I think that I may have missed a Saw film or two. You know, Saw: Jigsaw's Battle against High Car insurance and Saw: The Musical. Nine Dead will fit nicely with all of the aforementioned films. It isn't great, but it also isn't the worst film that you have ever seen.

Nine Dead's premise is pretty straight forward. Nine average blokes are kidnapped and handcuffed to a pole in a tiny room. (The setting and overall look of the film is very drab and reminiscent of the first Saw.) The designer of this trap informs them (the nine people) that's every ten minutes someone will die, unless they find the common link between them. None of them take this threat seriously and think that a cop maybe sweating them...until the first person gets his damn taco meat spread all over the wall.

Then the movie gets interesting. Sorta. All of the somewhat witty banter that is located in the script might have seemed nice on paper, but it's just comes across as whatever. Many of the characters do not show any emotions until the third act of the film. And simply put, by then, it's a little late to care about them. Forget the fact that we have a masked guy killing a member of our group every ten minutes, let's have a flashback! (All revelations are viewed this way.)

As noted in my review title, Sarah Michelle Geller is in this film. If you missed seeing her on Sabrina the Teenage Witch, then here is your chance to watch her work. Personally, I enjoyed her performance, some may call it a little overacting, but fuck it, what did you expect from a B-horror film!? The overacting...dare I say works?

Final thoughts, the three dollar purchase price at your local Wal-Mart bin is about right for it. The DVD special feature...a trailer of Nine Dead. This tough economic recession has hit us all.

5/10
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Added by Mr. Lays
6 years ago on 18 May 2011 18:47



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Posted: 6 years ago at Oct 1 20:43
As noted in my review title, Sarah Michelle Geller is in this film. If you missed seeing her on Sabrina the Teenage Witch, then here is your chance to watch her work.


LOL. I guess that shows how memorable Buffy the vampire slayer and Melissa Joan Hart are.

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