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Who wants to get Shanked...again?

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Justice has been done to this new entry in the Assassin's Creed franchise. Just about all of the previous complaints have been rectified and the storyline (for all you conspiracy theory buffs) goes even deeper into the rabbit hole than imagined.

You play as Ezio, a stereotypical Casanova Italian pimp who's (mini spoiler ahead) father later is revealed to be an assassin taking down members of the corrupt government within Italy. The powers that be eventually capture and sentence Ezio's father (and his sons) with treason (along with a madrid of other crimes against government) and the sentence is...death. But wait one must remain to extract revenge...that's right, Ezio remains. The conspirators of the crime typically dismiss him as not being a major concern, but it isn't somebody gets shanked "OZ" style until they get the damn message.

After all of the chaos, Ezio is taken underneath his Uncle Mario's (yeah, his name is Mario. And yes he even shouts "It'sa me Mario!" when he is first introduced! Clearly an omage to our gaming forefather and not meant to sound...stereotypical...surely) Assassin's Creed II storyline unfolds like something out of a Dan Brown novel. It is highly entertaining and you cannot stab enough people to get to the next chapter of this 30 hour plus storyline.

Many gamers (such as myself) complained about the monotonous gameplay that plagued the first installment, but my fellow gamers rejoice, none of that here dammit! Just some of the many activities that your friendly neighborhood Assassin must do include:
Beat Up Missions (which usually in involves pulverizing cheating spouses. 1500 Cheaters style.)
Racing (next to impossible for me to win many of these. Possibly I just am horrible at it.)
Assassination Contracts (self explanatory and my favorite side activity to do. Bonus points should be added because these also tie into the central storyline.)
Currier (deliver letter(s) from point A to B (sometimes C) in the allocated time. Passed a few of these, but later missions maybe a pain in the ass because there ALWAYS are citizens in the fuckin' way!)
Collect Codex Pages (these pages play a somewhat integral role in the game. So here I will not spoil here. But trust me they are worth collecting.)
The Truth (left behind by another user called Subject Sixteen, these encrypted files have taken up embarrassingly much of my time solving these mind games. At times although I feel like I should be some type of history art buff to solve some of these. Remember what I said about the rabbit hole getter deeper...)

In conclusion, purchase ,Assassin's Creed II especially if you enjoyed the first one. I promise you that all of the repetition has been cleaned up. The game manages to stay fresh even after thirty hours plus of gaming. And I know that I may have used word "stereotypical" plenty, but Assassin's Creed II doesn't live up to my musings. I have embellished it very plentiful.

But if you really must know, yes there are still fuckin' bails of hay available to evade pursuers.

Added by Mr. Lays
7 years ago on 17 May 2011 19:03


Posted: 7 years, 2 months ago at May 19 18:40
very nice review! I kinda recognized myself when reading about the "side quests" ;D
Posted: 7 years, 2 months ago at May 19 19:40
Yeah, after I posted this review I read other Listal members ACII reviews. I wanted to see just how terrible my Pre-K writing stood up to others. Thanks for the vote and comment.

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