Unstable Fables - 3 Pigs and a Baby

Posted : 1 month ago on 21 June 2008 04:22 (A review of Unstable Fables - 3 Pigs and a Baby)

I think I expected too much from this film. I thought it would be more fun, more entertaining, than it was. It's a family movie, but I don't know about letting my child see this, as there are definitely much, much better family films - much better animated films - out there. 3 Pigs and a Baby has a very small cast playing a few different roles...except for the main four actors (Brad Garrett, John Cryer, Steve Zahn, and Jesse McCartney). The animation is just so-so, the story is mediocre, really...I could see young children enjoying it, possibly, but anyone over the age of 5 is likely going to get bored with this one really quick. Definitely a let-down, because it looks like it would be better than it is, but in the end, it's only really middle-of-the-road, at best.

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10,000 B.C.

Posted : 1 month ago on 21 June 2008 04:17 (A review of 10,000 B.C.)

So far, I am unimpressed with the movie releases for June 24. I shut Spiderwick Chronicles off before finishing it, and I feel like doing the same for this one. Currently 45 minutes into "10,000 B.C.", and I am very disappointed with it. This is from the director of "Independence Day" and "The Day After Tomorrow", and while I haven't seen "Independence Day", I can say that I enjoyed "The Day After Tomorrow" much, much more. Maybe I am just not in the mood for this movie, but I am not impressed with the special effects, the acting, or the story, and I don't feel like sitting through the rest of the movie to see if it gets any better!

Thankfully, I didn't have to pay to rent this, otherwise, I would want my money back! I can only hope that the rest of the movies I brought home are better than the ones I have watched so far!!

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The Spiderwick Chronicles

Posted : 1 month, 1 week ago on 19 June 2008 09:38 (A review of The Spiderwick Chronicles [2008] (REGION 1) (NTSC))

I started watching this with a completely open mind, only to be severely disappointed, bored, and annoyed. Freddie Highmore is annoying enough as it is, but when there are TWO of him, it's really awful. The story for this movie is, to me, completely stupid/utterly ridiculous, and I was so fed up with this movie that I shut the DVD off maybe half an hour into it. The girl who plays the older sister is also annoying, though that might be because she has to act against two characters played by Freddie Highmore. I won't let my daughter watch this either, as it is too dark for small children, from what I saw of it, and I was so unimpressed by the bit I did see that I will likely never bother to finish watching it....or any possible future sequels, if they are planned.

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Note the Death to Minute Ratio

Posted : 1 month, 1 week ago on 17 June 2008 01:04 (A review of Lucky Number Slevin (Widescreen Edition))

Ah, crime thrillers we have so many yet so few. Plenty have become pretty boring over the years. Looking at you... (Insert movie of your choice...go ahead...I'll wait...). "Lucky #Slevin" though is a good hybrid: It has action, dark humor, an interesting storyline and Bruce Willis' awesome receding hair line/hair piece. The movie basically is a tale of two opposing local crime bosses (Morgan Freeman and Sir Ben Kinsley respectively, who seem only to hire the stereotypical low IQ goons to match there over intelligence as a crime boss.) who share a common interest in Slevin (Josh Harnett).
All the roles are played well and nobody really overshadowed considering almost all got decent screen time and that these are well known actors and actresses. Not allot of egos to stroke on the set of this move apparently I am a huge fan of Bruce Willis and his assassin character is well played just like any other assassin he has played over the years. Honestly the man only has two characters under his sleeve (that he can play like no other) granted some exceptions. One, the burnt out cop and or husband. Second, a quirky assassin who wears aprons a and goes by the nickname "Tulip" and who unbelievably doesn't assassinate the annoying guy off of "Friends" (not Joey) or the uber cool assassin with the tailor made suits of elephant ivory that he assassinated during the warm up assassination of any of his assassin movies.
Switching gears now. The movie sometimes feels like it came from a focus group. Casting a wide diversity of races. I would love to live in a city this diverse. The word "MELTING POT" must have been heard dozens of times in the casting room. All of these elements work out well and come together very nicely. The cast is chosen well and the director does a good job at mixing dark humor with violence continuing the trend comparing to movies like "The Boondock Saints" and "True Romance". There's even the now standard "twist" ending, but it executes perfect without having you roll your eyes and say "I saw that coming!" or "Look at this BullS HIT!" while throwing your hands in the air causing you to drop your glass full of beer and almost wake up the kids.
It may sound like I disliked this movie, but HELL NO!! I LOVED this MOVIE! Plenty of murder-death-kills (there is one awesome sniper shot in particular), quirky characters and a well written story line. What more could you want! I just had to point out some of the things I noticed. I thought they were pretty funny. Hopefully this review entertained you just as much as I did writing it and nobody got offended.



Lata!

Also has anyone heard about Bruce Willis playing the lead role in the "Assassin's Creed" live action movie?



Mr. Lays' cool scene to check out: (Spoiler Alert!) Slevin goes to see Sir Kinsley's character claming that he has his money then while Kinsley is checking the contents of the briefcase Slevin proceeds to one-time smack the shit out of his bald head with a blackjack. It's one of my fav's because it so out the blue. You were aware that Slevin had something planned, but smacking the shit out of him. Nice!


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Jump Jump Jump Jump Around

Posted : 1 month, 1 week ago on 17 June 2008 12:50 (A review of Jumper)

"You think you could go on living like this forever and no one would notice?" spoken straight from the mouth of the immortal Samuel L. "Mutha F**kin'" Jackson in the sci-fi movie "Jumper". "Jumper" has all the material that makes it the perfect date movie. You and your significant other can ask each other questions like "Where would you "Jump" baby? Would I be there with you?" and your sarcastic response might be "I would "Jump" where this movie isn't $8 a ticket!” Not to say that the movie wasn't worth my $8. Personally, I really liked this movie. Being bred under the sci-fi sign of the 80's makes me kind of bias still this movie is right up my alley. But the wannbe movie critic in me saw so many mishaps in this flick its unfortunate because I really want to recommend this flick to the masses. All who dislike unclear explanations of the "Jump" ability, (sequel "Jumper: Jump Jump Jump Around" feat. House of Pain might explain this) Hayden Christian’s acting, and the fact the Samuel doesn't get the only F**k in the movie. Stay away!
David S. Goyer penned the screen version of this 1992 novel (which is darker...need proof...two words...gang raping!) by the same name and I really like his style of writing, but it feels wrote for easy consumption. It's really not as violent as other screenplays in which he wrote considering the source material. I applaud trying to connect to the different demographics besides the hardcore sci-fi peeps who cos play as Storm Troopers. I don't think that he has lost his fans with this although. But come on this is the same guy who penned the awesomeness of "Blade". It may be possible that Wesley Snipes attributed to that awesomeness...just a little. Also being a sci-fi nerd at heart I cannot hold any thing against Hayden Christian’s acting due to the fact that Mr. George Lucas choose him to bring the balance in the force...so how could you?
To sum it up the story quickly David Rice (Hayden) is a troubled youth with a father with a drinking problem. After being semi-bullied in front of a girl (yes, it somewhat revolves around a crush) at school, he plummets down into an icy lake with nobody willing to help him. Damn, high school is such a mean place. While having a near death experiencing he "jumps" to his local library. Drenched in water he walks away hastily. At home David receives a tongue lashing for tracking water through the home and then decides to "jump" away from everything and everybody. Being 15 and needing cash he robs banks to get his funds and humorously leaves an I.O.U. at the scenes. Jump (sorry!) years later and he is living in a plush New York condo and life is all good...until the blond haired Roland (Samuel) shows up and tells David that he knows all about him. They have a scuffle consisting of Roland wielding some type of EMP device that permits David to "jump" and trade mean PG-13 words. David manages to escape and Roland is hot on his trail...
Overall I really enjoyed "Jumper" and am anxious to see the sequel. Honestly don't expect to be blown away, but I walked away with some satisfaction. Hopefully some of Mr. Lay’s readers will walk away with some to.



Lata

Mr. Lay’s scene to watch: (Mini-Spoiler)
David chases fellow "Jumper" Griffin across the world using his "jump scar". Both seamlessly "jump" from Egypt, beaches, war zones, Tokyo, and other places. It's brief, but a nice alternate to chase sequences that we witness in other movies.


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Hit me over the head with this Brick!

Posted : 1 month, 1 week ago on 17 June 2008 12:47 (A review of Brick)

This is the ultimate detective movie. Clues, easy speaking, and a Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty-type twists and turns. Some may cringe at that comparison, but being that this is a movie and not a videogame all the heavy dialogue is more than welcome. I don't have to put my controller down for 33 minutes and play for 5 minutes to the next cut scene. And yes you have to sit through that cut scene again if you die during those exclusive 5 minutes. This movie though requires your FULL ATTENTION! And I repeat FULL ATTENTION! One scene could spill mega information while you got up to answer the phone who turns out to be your buddy asking if he can use your Gianna Michaels' flick.
The story of "Brick" is so complex yet so simplistic at being complex that it is difficult for even Mr. Lays to begin to break down. (Well not really I am over exaggerating...sort of.) Just pay attention to it. It all starts with the dead body of Brendan’s girlfriend. And dammit he's going to check every nook and cranny to find out how she would up that way. Sticking to Murphy's Law all the searching Brendan does leads him to the seedy underbelly of high school. Where really old is considered 26, drama queens have almost literally lap dog freshmen, base heads are one of the most "reliable" sources of info, drug kingpins are nicknamed "The Pin" and where football jocks refer to themselves in the third person and have connections to hit men. I am trying hard not to spoil any of the stories. Hence therefore my lack of any real info on the story. Simply put: Brendan is looks for clues pertaining to his dead girlfriend.
Everything in this movie works. Again simply put go buy it. I cannot recommend it more than I already have. Although for all of you hard heads if you don't like "Brick" Mr. Lays will personally come to your house, bring his own blanket and popcorn, wearing my busted wife beater, socks and deer pajama pants, then sit down with you on your couch and watch "Brick" with you. While viewing it I will breakout my blackboard and discuss all the details with you. MmmmmmmmK'

This movie has replaced "Howard the Duck" as one of my top 5 movies of all time!

Lata, you better enjoy this f**kin' flick!!! Or I will hunt your ass down like Charles S. Dutton did Ice-T in "Surviving the Game"!!!



Mr. Lays Scenes to Watch: Any of the fights in this movie have a degree of honestly and brutal ness to it. They also may cause you to chuckle mainly the fights that start with sneak attacks.


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Love Actually

Posted : 1 month, 1 week ago on 16 June 2008 10:52 (A review of Love Actually (Widescreen Edition))

A chick flick, not surprisingly. I have been told more than once to watch this movie, so I finally sat down and watched it. Right from the opening, I knew it would make me tear up - and it did, more than once. It's sweet, funny, and has quite the cast. I will definitely watch this one again, and again. I love the long list of stars this movie has, and how connected all the characters' lives turn out to be. It's predictable, but that really doesn't matter at all.

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Cloak and Dagger

Posted : 1 month, 1 week ago on 16 June 2008 10:50 (A review of Cloak & Dagger)

I just watched this (kind of...wasn't paying full attention to it) for the first time in years. Since it has been quite a while, and I wasn't paying complete attention to the movie, I have to say, it wasn't as much fun as I remember, but I remember watching this when I was younger and thinking it was a great movie. However, 20+ years later, the technology in this movie is VERY outdated, so it's hard to watch the movie without laughing at the big bulky walkie talkies and the Atari games. Henry Thomas is awesome...and so is Dabney Coleman. The girl who plays the friend (Kim) is totally annoying, and seems to be lisping on purpose.

Back in the day, this movie was completely rad...watching it as an adult, it has lost a lot of its coolness...but is still fun to watch.

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Control

Posted : 1 month, 1 week ago on 16 June 2008 10:38 (A review of Control (The Miriam Collection))

Exellent. Powerful movie. I am glad I managed to find the time to watch this one from my stack of movies releasing tomorrow. I only wish I had managed to take home "Joy Division" as well. "Control" is an excellent film, and one to watch, even if you don't know who Joy Division is. I also love the fact that this was in black and white.

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Californication - Season One

Posted : 1 month, 1 week ago on 16 June 2008 10:33 (A review of Californication - Season One)

I love this show. Great cast, entertaining story, though definitely kind of sad. Lots of nudity in it, which isn't surprising for a Showtime show, but I cannot wait for the next season, and I hope it continues to be as strong as it was for the first season.

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