Reviews of Snakes on a Plane

hmm :/

Posted : 1 month, 3 weeks ago on 4 November 2009 09:46 (A review of Snakes on a Plane)

There were snakes on a plane. The end.
Not the most exciting movie I have ever seen.


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Does exactly what it says on the tin

Posted : 11 months, 2 weeks ago on 17 January 2009 07:00 (A review of Snakes on a Plane)

Some films are so laughably bad, that they actually make for very good viewing. Sadly this film isn’t in that bad but entertaining category, although this film is on par with many of the straight to DVD action movies. It isn’t the problem with crazy ‘snakes on crack’, that are acting totally unnaturally, which are a decent mix of real, rubber and CGI but are never scary. The acting is poor, but that still doesn’t ruin this movie. What makes this the most annoying movie is the record-breaking number of serious plot holes. Nothing that occurs makes any sense at all – for example a co-pilot struggles with the controls (why?), when he needs to go get bitten, he just puts the plane on auto-pilot and leaves the controls (huh?). I could go on and on, but suffice to say this is a brain dead movie, only watch it very late at night when you are drunk!

Note: Should you find yourself on a plane with aggressive snakes biting everyone, do not recreate anything shown in that movie, all the first aid administered was incorrect. You shouldn’t cut open a bite zone and suck out the poison, even if you do rinse your mouth in oil, nor should you tie a tourniquet on or near any bitten area.


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OMG! serpientes en un avión!

Posted : 2 years, 10 months ago on 2 March 2007 10:51 (A review of Snakes on a Plane)

Es increíble que alguien haya podido hacer una película entera con un argumento taaaaaan pobre: Un fiscal es asesinado, un pibe presencia todo, un agente del FBI lo convence de testificar y tiene que llevarlo sano y salvo a Los Angeles (desde Hawai) en un avión lleno de serpientes puestas ahí para asesinar al testigo.

Debo reconocer que después de Indiana Jones tengo un poco de impresión por las serpientes, pero aún así, no tuve inconvenientes en mantener los ojos abiertos :P

(Algunos spoilers de acá en adelante)

El problema con la película es que se nota que tiene escenas hechas únicamente para satisfacer a los fans: digo, ver serpientes mordiendo una teta, un culo y un pene (con agónica sacudida incluida) suena a “teniamos que”. Y cuando creí que me iba a sorprender por no ver a Samuel L. Jackson dispararle a una, en los últimos 5 min me muestran la escena que hacía desde el principio que “tenía que” ver.

Pero bueh, si queres ver una película con un avión lleno de serpientes, probablemente “tenias que” ver ese tipo de escenas. (Aclaración: yo no quería verla, la pasaron en el micro)

Lo único bueno: el azafato (?) que “tenía que” ser gay que resulto no ser gay :P

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