Reviews of King Kong

King Kong is the worst movie of all times!

Posted : 1 month, 3 weeks ago on 13 October 2009 12:09 (A review of King Kong)

This movie made me actually want to get up and leave. I have never actually wanted to leave a film out of disgust before. I have hated movies, I have watched really fucking bad movies before, but this was terrible. It took everything I hate about Hollywood movies. It took bad camera angles, bad acting, bad motion cg, bad lighting, took a good budget and a good plot, and completely ruined it.

Never have I been so unhappy with a film. Naomi Watts looked and acted just like Nicole Kidmen, that is to say poorly, and Jack Black acted just like Jack Black. The supporting cast wasn't terrible, although they did over and under act accordingly. There was a terrible dinosaur race that didn't make any kind of sense, in that there were about 20 brontosaurus' running from 3 raptors. Only 4 people died and about 10 brauntosaurus'. Yea. Plus, people punching raptors? And sending them flying? And people not getting squished by 60ft dinosaurs and not getting a concussion by being shook around like a nanny with a baby, and not getting killed by falling down a 300ft cliff and ... I simply cannot list all of the inaccuracies and illogical melodrama that made this movie so terrible.

But not only was it terrible, but it disgusts me that this was rated pg. Not only do we see SEVENTEEN brutal murders, including people getting their head bitten off, and not including all those people Kong threw into walls, there was also a part where Kong TEARS OUT a T-rex's tongue, and then proceeds to tear his jaw apart and squish his head. This is not a pg movie. There was so much violence. It's obviously Peter Jackson making it a "family" rated film to get more bang for his buck.

Now, keeping all of this in mind, Naomi Watts took a page right out of "Birth" (another TERRIBLE film) with all the sad, thinking, and confused face close ups for 5 minutes each. She fell in love. With a gorilla. And that's not the bad part, I can totally understand that, and how if done well, it would be really effective (like you know, the REAL Kong movie). But no, Anne is not that kind of person. She doesn't bother trying to do anything except for yell at a few moments 'no'. She doesn't go and tell Jack Black that Kong is good and just wants to be left alone. She doesn't do anything. She goes away and leaves him and everyone she loves. Then she feels sad about it. But she doesn't do the right thing. She doesn't. She's not a good person. She makes a few futile attempts to do the right thing and gives up.

The only real emotion came from a cg rendering of Kong. No emotion was displayed that appropriately suited the situation.


In summary, please, do not see this movie. Do not let Peter Jackson take your money, and certainly do not encourage him to ruin more things about your childhood that you love.

Don't even download it to see how bad it is, don't waste your time. Go for a walk instead :P

Oh, and fuck Peter Jackson.

-The Dante Half

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A drum A drum Kong Doth come!

Posted : 1 year, 2 months ago on 21 September 2008 01:44 (A review of King Kong)

''The beast looked upon the face of beauty. Beauty stayed his hand, and from that moment he was as one dead.''


In 1933 New York, an overly ambitious movie producer coerces his cast and hired ship crew to travel to mysterious Skull Island, where they encounter Kong, a giant ape who is immediately smitten with leading lady Ann Darrow.

Naomi Watts: Ann Darrow

If it had been made public that a remake of the 1933 King Kong was being created without Peter Jackson attached to it, there is no shred of doubt that viewers would have been enraged.

After the huge success of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, it would seem that the public has rightly learned to put their faith in director Peter Jackson, an affirmed fave director of mine.
After watching his version of King Kong at the Cinema in December all that time ago, I would have to say that their trust was well placed.

Jackson now firmly cements his name as a masterful film-maker, the kind that all aspiring directors want to become. The attention he pays to the smallest details, the sheer class he shows in terms of production and scale, the amount of skill he has in controlling our fragile emotions.

Jackson certainly brings his considerable skill and flair to show here in Kong. While a different director likely would have sped up the story to the crew's arrival on Skull Island, Jackson takes his time with a nice, leisurely build up to their arrival, giving us lots of time to really get to know these characters, and also providing time for a slow and genuine romance building between the characters of Anne and Jack. This romance does lead to the very few and seldom weaknesses of Kong. Plus one dire Brontosaurus chase that really doesn't work and the effects all look shoddy and choppy, that let the film down to a degree.

But going back to the good qualities of King Kong, in essence be it a lush jungle and tropical rain forest with giant reptile dinosaurs. Be it the giant, parasitic, warm-like maggot larvae or scary insects. Be it the bond between Kong and Ann Darow, that wasn't as detailed as the 1933 version, that shows us the love and connection between the two. A loving protector of Ann, Kong really does fall in love with her. That last dance on an icy lake really sets the emotions going, preceding the events to follow.

Whether it's sneaky ambitious obsessed Carl Denham played by Jack Black, or beaky nosed, supposedly heroic writer Adrien Brody as Jack Driscoll, it shows performances from the human casting to be impressive.
Also fave of mine Thomas Kretschmann as Captain Englehorn is in there or a Jamie Bell playing Jimmy on the ship.
Andy Serkis also deserves a mention for his movements involving Kong and not only that, a chef who ends up with a horrifying demise was memorable.

Worth getting the extended King Kong which offers more tantalizing material and scenes that really add to a masterpiece of a remake. That fight with the dinosaurs that kong has, flapping it's jaw when he is victorious, is totally memorable and a tribute to the original, as is the last scene that will induce tears and emotions for Kong and will have you overwhelmed.

A Magical Journey emotionally,ladies and gentlemen, I give you KONG!.

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Is this Peter Jackson?

Posted : 2 years, 4 months ago on 6 August 2007 06:21 (A review of King Kong)

Horrible movie. 3 hours for just action with non sense, no script, no talk, no story. A shame for Peter Jackson.

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Eh......

Posted : 3 years, 1 month ago on 8 November 2006 12:53 (A review of King Kong)

I didn't care for this movie.

The first part of the movie was SOOO slow, and then later it's too action packed. Just one danger after another after another. They stretched the scenes out too long. Plus, the girl never even said "kong", and only said one word to the ape, yet loves him like a brother. The worst of all was the people just stared like 30 times in the movie! No talking! Just staring with a surprised/sad/clueless expression on their face! But I guess it was an ok movie. (Except for the bugs. You will hear me scream if I see a cockroach, worm, etc.)

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