Reviews of End of Days

Arnie's worst hour...

Posted : 1 year, 8 months ago on 22 April 2008 09:39 (A review of End of Days)

"How can you expect to defeat me when you are just a man and I am forever?"

End of Days is a film that can be summed up with one simple statement: Schwarzenegger vs. Satan. For the fans of Schwarzenegger, I'm sure you'll delight in Arnie battling supernatural forces.

Unfortunately despite liking a number of Arnie's action movies, End of Days could be his worst action movie thus far. The film is ridiculous, stupid, overproduced, dumb, horrible and just plainly abysmal!

Basically, a girl named Christine (Tunney) is born in 1979 and is apparently "chosen by Satan" to be his bride. The Vatican is aware of her presence and aim to protect her. In the latter of 1999, just before the new Millennium, Christine is living with her stepmother and is being plagued with visions of Satan. Then Satan comes to Earth, takes the form of a human, and aims to find his bride that he chose 20 years ago.

Jericho Cane (Schwarzenegger) is still getting over the devastation of losing his family. He begins investigating strange occurrences to do with priests and other weird religious nut-cases. As it turns out, the Vatican have a sudden change of heart and now want to kill Christine before the beginning of the new Millennium as she can bring about the "end of days".

From there the film is a heap of religious mumbo jumbo filled with stupendous action that becomes embarrassingly not entertaining due to the poor nature in which it was created. I don't know where to start with my elaboration of that sentence...but basically the fast cuts look appalling. It suffers from the same syndrome as many modern action movies. Making fast cuts and using shaky cam in an attempt to please the "four-minute music video generation" of action movie-goers. As a result the action doesn't make a lick of sense and you can't make out anything.

Not to mention it was poorly edited, with continuity errors surfacing frequently. And the director made a "creative decision" to make the film clouded in darkness. As a result of this dismal concept, nothing can be made out. Everything is so dark and lacking in shadow detail that the action looks even worse.

And because there's so much action and little exposition, the whole movie is essentially religious gibberish with a few guns being fired and a lot of blood. The scenes of action get so monotonous towards the end that it isn't even worth your time.

And yet, it keeps getting even more stupendous towards the pathetic conclusion of the movie.

Usually I'd respect Arnie due to his skills during action scenes, but his performance is mind-numbingly bad! Maybe it would have worked as a drama with a good actor in the title role. But an action movie that's meant to be taken seriously that promotes Schwarzenegger as the film's primary acting talent? Give me a break!

There's also such a dreadful script and awful direction thrown in here as well. On top of this, the special effects weren't impressive at all.

The film also makes absolutely no sense. Schwarzenegger investigates murders and yet keeps saying he's not a cop, but a private citizen? The Vatican saying they will protect the girl...but all of a sudden get men to try and kill her? Satan magically grabs loads of henchman to fight against Schwarzenegger?! There's so much more I could describe here, but you don't need to get very far to know that this is certainly one to leave on the shelf.

Honestly, I think everything in this movie was bad. It would take pages to list all its flaws! The result is truly, painfully appalling and a no-brainer action movie. I don't think there were any redeeming features at all. Don't rent it, don't watch it, and don't even consider buying it! Lowest point: Arnie getting the crap beaten out of him by a granny.

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Change your ways

Posted : 1 year, 8 months ago on 19 April 2008 06:52 (A review of End of Days)

Arnie has taken on many foes during his glorious career on the big screen, ranging from a band of rambunctious school children to entire private armies; from pregnancy to the entire human race, so where do you go from there? Well when there's nobody left to destroy with your hulking bulk of muscle and power, it's time to battle the devil.

This film is all about religious cliches, though to its credit, it was released long before Dan Brown jumped onto that bandwagon and rode it all the way to the bank. From everyone's character names to the obligatory secret religious cult, it's all here. It's up to Arnie and his 9 millimetre to protect a girl who is wanted dead by the church. Legend has it that she is destined to conceive the son of Satan and thus, she is guarded from Satanists by the church.

The film is nothing special, but I think it's worth a watch just for the completely ridiculous moments that occur throughout. Arnie throwing Satan out of a window and the Devil nailing a priest through the skull with a crucifix rank up there with the most absurd moments, though I did enjoy it when Satan was obliterated by an underground train as well. The film culminates in Arnie's first ever on-screen death as a human character, I know I felt like weeping - any man who can take on Lucifer doesn't deserve to meet such a grim end!

The cast is a definite plus for the film, the legendary Arnie, fan favourite Udo Kier and then the star of the show - Satan himself - who really was the saving grace of acting in End of Days.

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1 star is way enough

Posted : 2 years, 7 months ago on 12 May 2007 12:22 (A review of End of Days)

This is one of the lousiest films Arnold has ever made! I usually enjoy his films, and because they are usually so ridiculous I find myself laughing more than being scared. End of Days was too pathetic to laugh; it was just plain stupid and gory - very gory. (Do not let children watch this!) As usual the script is lousy; special effects are nevertheless amazing.

The only reason this film deserves one star is Gabriel Byrne: He was the perfect actor to play Satan.

If you're looking for *T2* and the like, stay away from this. *End of Days* is in NO way similar to Arnold's previous films. If you want to waste your time, the way I did, take your chances and rent or buy this film.

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