Reviews of Commando

Screw Citizen Kane, THIS is a masterpiece!

Posted : 3 weeks, 2 days ago on 16 November 2009 06:21 (A review of Commando)

"All fucking hell is going to break loose..."

Though I walk through the valley of shadow and death, I shall fear no evil; for lord John Matrix will protect me; his big fucking guns and huge muscles, they comfort me.

In the beginning, there was Commando. And the God of '80s Action Excess looked upon it and saw that it was good. And lo did Arnold Schwarzenegger massacre hundreds of mercenaries in displays of awesome ultra-violence, and Alyssa Milano did rejoice. Amen.

After the triple play of The Terminator and both Conan films, Arnold Schwarzenegger graduated to top billing with Commando; a classic '80s action movie which fetishes explosions, violence and guns, in addition to containing an assortment of evil villains, cheesy one-liners, big guns, bigger guns and enough dead bodies to keep a mortician's convention busy for days. It was produced by illustrious action super-producer Joel Silver and written by distinguished action writer Steven E. de Souza, not to mention that the primary star is none other than the iconic Arnie. On any level above that of red-faced guilty pleasure, there's simply no way to defend Commando. It's a gloriously primitive and cartoonish action vehicle which makes absolutely no bones about its absurdity. It never pretends to be anything other than a simple-minded exercise in vicarious violence. Its heart and soul is best summarised by a line of dialogue - a female character, while witnessing two über-macho behemoths engaged in mano-a-mano fisticuffs, exclaims "These guys eat too much red meat!"

Schwarzenegger plays Colonel John Matrix (complying with the First Law of Early '80s Action Movies, this is one awesome name); a former special ops soldier now retired and living in a secluded cabin with his daughter Jenny (Milano). Matrix believes his old life of violence, gunfire and post-mortem one-liners is over, but a former dictator is unwilling to let him rest in peace. Said dictator is Arius (Hedaya) who, with the help of the psychotic soldier Bennett (Wells), enacts a plan to regain power in the third-world hellhole he was ousted from. They wish for Matrix to do their bidding, and they kidnap his daughter to convince him to comply with their instructions. But there's one thing they forgot: nobody fucks with John Matrix.

It's the way Matrix dispatches with the villain's original plan and summarily devises his own that makes Commando so exhilarating. Director Mark L. Lester serves the action spectacle straight-up, with little aesthetic flourish, emotional bracketing or even downtime. The makers realised that Schwarzenegger's primal screen presence needs little accoutrement, and the action hero is therefore just given the opportunity to bulldoze through the narrative (and literally through a sporting goods store at one stage). Matrix is less a character than a force of nature, and the cutesy scenes meant to establish his loving fatherly nature with Jenny at the beginning of the movie are impossible to take seriously. Matrix only makes sense when he's armed to the teeth with an assortment of weaponry; blasting his way through hundreds of henchmen like an automated turret when given a line of immobile enemies to dispatch (there's no reason to point out how convenient it is that he has a limitless supply of ammunition, and seems to find bigger weapons just by looking down). Commando simply surges forward from action set-piece to action set-piece; pausing only for one-liners and shots of Alyssa Milano sneering at her captors. The film lasts less than 90 minutes, but one could spend two hours talking about it because it contains so much cool stuff.

Commando works on just about every level, but it's the script that makes it such a gem. Classic one-liners range from "Let off some steam, Bennett" (after a character is impaled with a steam pipe), "I eat Green Berets for breakfast. And right now I'm very hungry" and the classic "I let him go" (after dropping some bloke off a cliff). Gold. Pure gold. Commando is the movie that helped to forge and solidify the Schwarzenegger action movie persona. At the time of this movie's release, the former Mr. Universe was known as a cyborg from the future and a loin-cloth-clad barbarian. He had already uttered the immortal "I'll be back" catchphrase (in The Terminator), and Commando immediately announces its self-aware silliness when Arnie repeats this line to the movie's central villain. This is just one of the many one-liners, puns and badass phrases peppered throughout the film; making the consciously bad dialogue second in volume to the number of bullets fired during the scant runtime.

Steven E. de Souza's script is pitch-perfect, Mark L. Lester's direction is immaculate, Matthew F. Leonetti's cinematography is beautiful, the editing is terrific and the score by James Horner is one of the coolest you'll ever hear (not to mention it gives even more power to the unique visual style). The acting, meanwhile, is spot-on right down the line. Schwarzenegger is enormously likeable and funny, and he's an awesome physical actor. Arnie reportedly performed nearly all of his own stunts (this included jumping through windows, doing gruelling fights and hanging onto a plane's landing gear as it travelled at 65 miles an hour), and the price was just a dislocated shoulder and some stitches...what a guy. Vernon Wells' performance is classic - the actor was fresh from Mad Max 2 and Weird Science when he stepped into the role of Bennett. The banter between Wells and Arnie is utterly iconic. Rae Dawn Chong as the token female confidently fulfils her duties, while Alyssa Milano is easily likeable as Matrix's daughter.

The action genre reached its pinnacle in 1985 with Commando. No movie since has been able to wield a proper combination of violence, awesome one-liners and absurdity like this vintage Arnie vehicle did. Flicks like this are an endangered species. With action movies becoming increasingly more complex (with less action set-pieces), this is a reminder of a simpler era of moviemaking. Sure, Commando could be called a dumb movie, but those deriding it with such harsh words are not accepting the film as what it was intended to be. Don't believe the film connoisseurs who claim that Citizen Kane is the best and most essential film ever - Commando is the film you MUST see!!!

I love this movie. I love it with an unhealthy obsession.

8.5/10

0 comments, Reply to this entry

Command & Conquer.

Posted : 3 weeks, 5 days ago on 13 November 2009 08:23 (A review of Commando)

Cooke: You scared, motherfucker? Well, you should be, because this Green Beret is going to kick your big ass!
Matrix: I eat Green Berets for breakfast. And right now, I'm very hungry!

A retired elite commando has only a few hours to find and rescue his daughter from an exiled dictator.

Arnold Schwarzenegger: John Matrix

If there were a number of Arnie movies I would watch as a child and for what they were, it was Predator, Terminator, Last Action Hero, Total Recall and Commando is yet another. There are no pretensions here, as director Mark. L Lester creates a thoughtless, macho, no-nonsense parade of exciting violence with plenty cracking one-liners along the way. The climax especially, as there's no mercy with a rampant Arnie taking on a small army, spectating all opponents dropping like flies in a glorious array of bullets and some garden shed tools. It's entertaining, addictive and yet wittily resourceful. It's a beautiful sight for action and Arnie fans alike. It makes the powerfully violent bloodshed in the Rambo films seem poetically meaningful, as a distant relative perhaps. No flashy edits, too-close camera-work and mechanical staging (found in most latter action films) taint the glorious proceedings.

Lester's no hold-bars approach shoots the vigorous activity well with expansive scope in the devastating set-pieces and exhaustingly taut pacing. Steven E. de Souza's silly script makes little headway, but plays it straight with its welcoming humorous tongue. Quotably campy dialogues and a barrage of puns. The cast do a respectable task of bringing the action and story to life. Arnold Schwarzenegger delivers the lines and action with heart-pounding vitality. Rae Dawn Chong perfectly holds her own and Vernon Wells is eccentrically palatable as Arnie's main foe. Dan Hedaya storms in as the head villain and a cute Alyssa Milano plays Arnie's kidnapped daughter. The support cast are just as interesting with the likes of Bill Duke, David Patrick Kelly, Drew Snyder, Bob Minor, Gary Cervantes, Branscombe Richmond, Matt Landers and a brief Bill Paxton. A muscularly robust engraved music score is courtesy of James Horner.

Arius: Your father appears to be cooperating. You will be back with him soon. Won't that be nice?
Jenny: Not as nearly as nice as watching him smash your face in.

Commando simply stands alone as one of the most overblown, frankly silly pieces of film, which you will ever see. And this is the very reason why I love Commando so much. Schwarzenegger started his nearly decade long winning run of wisecracking hard arses with Matrix. The body parts of who the camera lovingly paws before the opening titles, he is simply a masculine GOD! A paradoxical man who can kill someone with a his little finger alone, shows absolutely no trepidation in taking on a heavily fortified enemy stronghold single handed yet has a doting daughter and is shown feeding a deer with her in the starting credits! Plus, this monosyllabic killing machine has the dry, cutting wisecracks of Oscar Wilde – come on!.. who are the filmmakers trying to fool?? All the plot-holes and shoddy production values simply add to the film's attraction and appeal.
Muscles, guns, knives and bullets, shooting and fighting, blood, bodies, death and black humour. This is just the kind of a lovable movie I enjoy to see Arnold Schwarzenegger in and John Matrix is just the type of crazy macho character for him I could call perfect in every way. The year was 1985, Arnold 38 years old and Twins", "Kindergarten cop", "Junior" and "Jingle all the way were all thankfully, still dormant fantasies of things yet to come. If you want to once again hear that beloved "I'll be back" line, marvel at all that brainless violence and hilarious dialogue..."Remember Sully when I promised to kill you last? I lied"..., then witness that final mass slaughter and see Arnold like the way we all want to remember him as, watch Commando and enjoy the ride. It's FUBAR all the way!

Matrix: Don't break radio silence until they see me.
Cindy: How will I know?
Matrix: Because all fucking hell is going to break loose.


0 comments, Reply to this entry

Commando review

Posted : 2 years, 10 months ago on 11 February 2007 10:16 (A review of Commando)

I have to agree with this guy.

This film is the basis for over the top, more bodies than bullets action films. Although there was a bad following of the amount of crap in this particular genre, its the best of the bunch.

I wouldn't go as far to say it's like Crank and that its mocking itself but you can't help but think the writers were having a laugh when they wrote this dialogue.

The film is also sentimental to me and my pals when we would simply watch this and relish in its unbelievable stunts and notorious flaws.

0 comments, Reply to this entry

Let off some steam, Bennett!

Posted : 2 years, 10 months ago on 11 February 2007 09:56 (A review of Commando)

Commando is the archetype of the all action hollywood blockbuster. The acting it laughable, the dialogue - cringeworthy. There are more explosions and gunfights than you can shake a stick at. The protagonist is Mr Universe, his nemesis, a camp, chain-mail wearing australian.

This film has some of the funniest and most memorable lines of any action film and the final scene registers one of the highest body counts ever seen on celluloid. I wouldn't have it any other way. What a film!

0 comments, Reply to this entry