Worst Movies (that really do drop your IQ)

4894   6.9   7 

What was the deal with this flick. The first one was awesome, the second one was horrid, and third one was suppose to tie everything up and redeem the franchise. Instead it was a clusterf*ck!

Up to four Jack Sparrows on screen simultaneously that had nothing to do with nothing and everybody seemingly coming up with their lines out of thin air.

Fact: Shooting began before the script was even finished!

Who does that?!

Mr. Lays's rating:

912   4.8   4.3 

Milla Jovovich has some of sexist set of abs on any woman I have ever seen. Too bad this could not save this movie alone. Pacing is all over the place and very inconsistent. The action (neither the acting for that matter) is just not believable as it was in Kurt Wimmer's Equilibrium, nor nearly as powerful either. Shame the "Gun Kata" was really something cool.

Overall, it is just very disappointing. It had potential. Milla just has no luck with being in decent movies. Shame.

Mr. Lays's rating:

539   5.6   5 

I actually wanted to like this movie. It had one element in which I was interested in: Witchcraft. Man I could have saved $14 by not going to the movies to see this and purchased another book an the subject. "The Covenant" reminded me of a bad DragonBall Z episode. Just just without the Sinzu beans.

Honestly if you had "power" (it's not quite clear what you can do with your "power") would you use it to jump boost a car. Well the guys in "The Covenant" believe that car boosting is necessary. I see their future as a mechanic.

This movie contains the cheesy "cool kids" of a university, the secrets of The Skulls, the music of "Dawson's Creek", a little bit of EMO, and top it off with decent CG work. Imagine a male version of The Craft just not good. We have a hit!

Stay away at all costs!

Mr. Lays's rating:

608   5.8   6.1 

Ever since Pixar dominated the kid CG demographic there have been people who want to throw rocks at the Throne so to speak. This movie was one of them that attempted and failed.

First off why cast two of the most annoying actors on the face of the planet. Martin is not nearly as consistent as Aston, but nevertheless annoying. The voice casting alone makes Open Season lose about %60 of it's appeal. Apparently somebody failed to mention to Sony that voice casting is half the battle. The other half is characters that kids give a damn about. Kids give a shit about a dear and a bear when an ogre and a donkey are way "cooler".

*sigh*

Just let Pixar and DreamWorks do their things.
Every other company don't even consider it please!

Same goes for The Wild!

Mr. Lays's rating:

752   5.8   6.1 

No lie I really wanted to like this movie. Funny Games was a critical (unfortunately not financial) hit and the strangers wants to capitalize on the growing hunger for people who take over other peoples home and kill the owners. Rooting for the bad guys isn't supposed to be fun and it is not in this movie.

Sadly, though you want them the strangers to kill Liv Tyler with the quickness and get this damn movie over with already. It leaves you feeling like it had potential...

Mr. Lays's rating:

819   5.3   5.4 

This movie isn't sure what it wants to be. A psychological thriller, horror, or drama. I have a secret: It fails on all three accounts. The deaths are reminiscent of the Final Destination franchise. Sounds like a good thing? Well it isn't. Those type of death sequences don't translate well in this film.

The film was probably made just to hit that 6/6/06 release date. Depending on the calender to release your movie is insufferable in my opinion.

And why does Levi look so lost and bewildered in this damn movie.

Mr. Lays's rating:

408   5   5.7 

Message to Will Ferrell:

Take a break and think about what made you funny in the first place!

Mr. Lays's rating:

2547   5.9   6.2 

After the success of Batman Begins, the WB saw dollar signs thus giving the beloved Superman franchise a reboot. The casting as the lead role was dead on, but Kevin Spacy as Lex fell flat. Superman Returns biggest hurdles are the plot holes and the fact their wasn't really an antagonist.

Some could disagree and say that Lex was there. But really! If there wasn't any Kriponite around it would be like competing The Hulk against Napoleon Dynamite. No contest!

And what the f*ck!! (SPOILER) Does Superman have a son? Since when does Superman have intercourse. Wouldn't he kill her?

It had so much potential!!

Mr. Lays's rating:

299   3.6   3.6 

There are much more troubling issues then the unintentional horror of this movie.
How did Lohan become a household name?
Is it her breasts (apologizes to all of my lady readers for the male chauvinistic-ness of this question)
Did anyone honestly think a story about a one armed, one legged stripper who has blackouts was going to be a good story?
This list could go on forever!

Mr. Lays's rating:

30   1.9   0 

I've never actually never seen this movie. People who have seen it says that they would rather sit through their own open heart surgery. AWAKE!

Mr. Lays's rating:

2145   5.8   6.2 

The one time in my life I actually considered killing myself. No lie.

How does Matthew keep getting work?

The guy hasn't been in anything decent since Fast Times at Richmont High.

Correction, Dazed and Confused.

(Thanks to Jim Cripps for pointing my mistake.)

Mr. Lays's rating:

172   4.7   3 

Fact: This is the second fastest movie in history to make the theater to DVD conversion.

The first you ask? From Kelly to Justin
That movie took a total of 29 days to make it to DVD!

Mr. Lays's rating:

1694   6.5   6.7 

Two really overrated actors in this movie about a mailbox that can see the future? WTF?

Mr. Lays's rating:

392   3.5   2.8 

The 3 star rating that I gave this movie is just based on the fact that Kristinna Loken is sexy.

Mr. Lays's rating:

538   3.3   3.1 

If it wasn't for the many Asian women in this film, I may have rammed my head through my TV. Truly, awful.

Mr. Lays's rating:

287   2.8   0 

Ugh, where do I even start?

It's so sad that it's funny...

Mr. Lays's rating:

859   4   3.8 

Does the Mario universe even have a plot besides Peach always getting kidnapped?

This movie in my opinion put a curse of any movie adaption of a video game for many years to come. Besides the first Mortal Kombat movie everything has been either garbage or barley watchable.

Silent Hill was awesome to me though.

Mr. Lays's rating:

3   1.5   2.9 

This is a more urban of the already horrid Charlie's Angels franchise. Why would you do an alternate version of an already bad movie? Your guess is as good as mine.

It co-stars former Cash Money Records rapper Juvenile...and it does nothing to help the movie. This actually makes you hate him. It makes you hate film. It makes you hate the time wasted watching this.

Treat it like the Black Death!

Mr. Lays's rating:

4   1.5   1.9 

Actual opening line form the movie:
(as told like a fairy tale)

"There once was a drug dealer named Tommy Gold/
And cocaine is what he sold"

Seriously?!

Mr. Lays's rating: