What is their appeal? (TV)
2335 7.6 8.81. The Office (US) (2005)
Who exactly came up with the idea that the place where most people spend eight hours a day or more adhering to the dullest of rules and protocols could possibly be funny?
I know, let's take one of the most boring places on Earth and make a show about it. But instead of hiring writers that may possibly be able to write a few jokes, let's get the ones who were nursed on a cocktail of pot and the contents of their parents' medicine cabinet to create an entire series while high on one or more of said drugs.
Soundtrack? Naw, that would be adding too much. Actors who can do more than stand around and make people feel awkward? What for? It's an office?
Our mission? To make America dumber one prime time hour at a time.
2311 7.4 8.92. Seinfeld (1989)
The show that started us down the steady path toward Idiocracy. Hoards of people flocked to their TV's once a week to watch a crew of whiny idiots with terrible accents complain about every petty little thing that could possibly annoy an upper middle class New Yorker.
Why are we interested in the sex lives of fat bald neurotic guys? Why do we care whether a woman who looks like she is constantly smelling something bad masturbates or not? Why do we laugh at an insensitive moron who acts like he's on crack about eighty percent of his life? Why oh why did we not put an end to Jerry Seinfeld's shallow misery at his first stand-up comedy gig?
1686 8 9.13. Arrested Development (2003)
Another show that recieved praise and request after request to continue the series, so I thought I'd give it a try.
Another rung in the ladder of "awkward comedy," meaning that the writers sit around thinking up embarrassing situations to cram into an episode and call it funny.
At least now I know where Micheal Cera's terrible acting comes from.
2192 6.4 6.94. Sex and the City (1998)
Yes, I know that geriatrics, butch lesbians, horse faced women, and obsessive compulsives all have sex in real life, but do I need one nasty show dedicated in its entirety to rubbing them all in my face?
Literally? Ew, ew, EW!
880 7.1 8.65. Entourage (2004)
Every guy I know likes this show. Now I haven't seen many of them, but as far as I can figure, it is a show about a group of lazy drunken freeloaders who take advantage of the fact that one of their friends is famous to live off of his dime. Said friend (played by another guy who can't act his way out of a box, but looks pretty) is too busy not giving a shit to give a shit.
So basically, it's about doing absolutely nothing and being rich. Story line? Conflict? Episode one: star spills beer. Episode two: (to bump things up a bit) star spills beer...in hottub! Oh no! Whatever will he do!
1021 8.1 8.76. Mad Men (2007)
Bunch of rich men cheating and pilphering their way to the top. If I wanted to watch that, I'd move back to New York.
2333 6.4 7.47. Desperate Housewives (2004)
Five suburban whores and their trail of men. Sandly spawned a reality show that jumps from place to place showing women everywhere that the way to happiness is through open legs and back stabbing.
1359 6.7 7.78. Nip/Tuck (2003)
Two older, rather unattractive men have dedicated their lives to making America plastic, and go through loads of poorly created drama in the name of vanity. Not interested.
1581 6.8 7.49. Gossip Girl (2007)
Yeah, the OC was entertaining. At least there was the simulated "poor boy in a rich world" conflict going on, but what is the appeal behind a bunch of rich 25 year olds pretending to be rich 17 year olds?
The Gossip Girls are merely showing us Mad Men and Desperate Housewives in the making. If I can't stand the first two, why would I want to see how they are created...unless episode one happens to be "Guide to sterilizing spoiled rich kids."
2492 7.1 7.710. Grey's Anatomy (2005)
You know, I loved ER...until all of the doctors started sleeping with each other and the drama became more about who was sleeping with who than the people dying on the tables.
Grey's Anatomy skips past the patients from the beginning and tranforms a hospital from a place where people go during the most dramatic moments of their lives, to a place where the doctors have sex on every sterile surface.
There's a guy coding? Is that some strange new word for "he doesn't love me because he loves the nurse on the second floor?"
Can I get a vicadin?
2994 7.2 8.211. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997)
OK, I know that this will get me lynched by hoards of faithful fans, but I just can't see it.
I love all things vampire...and by all things, I mean ALL things. Throat rippers and sparkly emo ones, but I just can't understand the supernatural draw that this show carries behind it.
The storyline is great, as far as vampires go, but were any of you fans listening to how corny they make the dialogue? Anyone notice that the vampires look more like neanderthals than anything remotely scary? Is the cheap campy nature supposed to be part of the appeal, because it really isn't doing anything for me.
35 5 3.412. Teen Mom (2009)
Nothing says "society in decay" like an entire series dedicated to glorifying a bunch of immature teenage whores.
See the spoiled witch give birth. See the spoiled witch pass the child off onto grandparents. See the spoiled witch complain about how hard her life is over a bowl and a red plastic cup full of an undetermined liquor. See a TV series offer the spoiled whore moeny to influence other girls to do the same.
166 3.8 3.513. Jersey Shore (2009)
Do I really need to spout venom at this show? Everyone I've ever known says that this type of series is like the AIDS of television...and yet they all seem to be able to name of the characters by sight, sound and...abs?
Thankfully, I am not one of those people. I don't know who they are or why their show gets so many views. All I know is that the combination of a Jersey accent, a dozen low IQ's, and the ability to sleep with anything that walks (and some things that don't) doesn't make for entertaining television.
100 4.8 2.814. Keeping Up with the Kardashians (2007)
Isn't one of these girls famous for making a sex tape? What did the other ones do besides hang on the fame of their slutty sister? This is simply Entourage--reality show style.
So if I eat enough that my ass hangs out, and I'm willing to brandish it under the pretty greens and blacks of night vision, can I have a TV crew tape all of my spoiled rotten temper tantrums too?
860 5 4.115. American Idol (2002)
And all of its foreign off-shoots.
Come on, people. This is just common sense. If you got the best of the nation on the first season, then the second season would just be the rejects. The third would be the rejects of the rejects. The fourth, the rejects of the rejects or the rejects...you get the picture.
Do we have to get William Shatner up their crooning some Lady Gaga before you recognize that the show has gone to hell. It was a bad idea in the first place!
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