Favourite TV Characters (Now and Then)
7.71. Tim Roth
From: Lie to me
Full Character Name: Cal Lightman
Occupation: Psychologist with an expertise in body language and microexpressions. Founder of The Lightman Group.
-You believe whatever you want about me. That's what everyone else does.
-The only way three people keep a secret if it´s two of them are dead.
-I guess we're all here, then: someone who wants the truth, someone who wants to be right, and us - the idiots in the middle.
-Unpleasant truths, human mortality, a mustache on a woman - three things we'd all prefer to ignore.
(to Emily after finding her Birth Control Pills)
-I hope for your sake these are Tic-Tacs.
6.92. Simon Baker
From: The Mentalist
Full Character Name: Patrick Jane
Occupation: Independent Consultant for the California Bureau of Investigation
-Do you have any tea, because this could take a while.
-Cheap power suit, phone holster, blue tooth, large watch. Has petty tyrant written all over him.
-I know, I know. You don't know whether to hug me or to hit me
-Lisbon: You killed her husband.
-Jane: Well there you go. The ice is broken. We have something to talk about.
-Yeah, you guys go find out. I'll find the couch. Oh, there it is!
-My eyes aren't, ah, windows or doors, or even keys for that matter. I use them to look at things, and what I'm looking at right now is a big fat liar.
7.23. Owain Yeoman
Rigsby and Cho
From: The Mentalist
Full Character Name: Wayne Rigsby and Kimball Cho
Occupation: Rigsby - Agent for the California Bureau of Investigation
Cho - Agent for the California Bureau of Investigation
Former U.S. Army
Rigsby to Van Pelt:
-You got any plans tonight?
Van Pelt: Nothing. Home, TV.
Rigsby: Well. Have fun.
Van Pelt leaves
Cho to Rigsby:
You're going to die alone.
-Cho: Someone was looking for something.
-Rigsby: Thank you, Captain Obvious.
-Cho: Three hours of burning silence, then sarcasm. It's like we're married.
-Cho: No. This is like Spring Break Cancun compared to juvie.
-Rigsby: Wait. You were in Juvenile Hall? Seriously?
-Cho: Yeah. Didn't you read my file?
-Rigsby: No. Did you read mine?
-Cho: Of course.
-Rigsby: If I had a date, I'd tell you about it.
-Rigsby: I would. Tell you anything you'd want to know.
-Cho: You ever gonna man up and make a move on Van Pelt?
-Rigsby: Fine! Don't tell me.
8.44. Jim Parsons
From: The Big Bang Theory
Full Character Name: Sheldon Lee Cooper
Occupation: Theoretical physicist, B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D., Sc.D.
-Leonard, you have to do something about Penny. She's interfering with my sleep, she's interfering with my work... and if I had another significant aspect of my life, I'm sure she'd be interfering with that too.
-I bought these Star Wars sheets but they turned out to be much too stimulating to be compatible with a good night's sleep. I don't like the way Darth Vader stares at me.
-I'm sorry, but I'm not going to watch the Clone Wars TV series until I've seen the Clone Wars movie. I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended.
-Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side. BAZINGA!
-I would like to point out that I am at the top of my profession, while you are at the kiddie table of yours.
8.25. Michael C. Hall
Full Character Name: Dexter Morgan
Occupation: Blood Spatter Analyst
-Harry and Doris did a wonderful job raising me. But they're both dead now. I didn't kill them. Honest.
-How is it I can kill people and feel no regret, but disappointing Rita makes me feel like the scum of the earth?
-If home is where the heart is, where do you go when you don't have a heart?
-In a land of predators, the lion never fears the jackal.
-Tonight's the night.
7.66. Josh Holloway
Full Character Name: James Ford
-I've got enough food now to open a chain of mini marts. Hey, you think Sayid needs a job?
-Baby, I am tied to a tree in the jungle of mystery. I just got tortured by a damn spinal surgeon and a genuine Iraqi. Of course I'm serious.
-You even made Locke take a swing at you. Hell, that's like getting Gandhi to beat his kids.
-Okay, Tarzan. So now that you're back from your Blow-Up-Everything-That-Can-Get-Us-Off-The-Island tour, how 'bout you tell me why you joined up with the damn enemy?
-That would all be fascinating if I was listening to ya.
8.27. Hugh Laurie
From: House M.D.
Full Character Name: Gregory House
Occupation: Head of the Department of Diagnostic Medicine at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.
-Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person?
-Thing is, hope's for sissies.
-I take risks, sometimes patients die. But not taking risks causes more patients to die, so I guess my biggest problem is I've been cursed with the ability to do the math.
7.98. Neil Patrick Harris
From: How I Met Your Mother
Full Character Name: Barnabus Stinson
-It's gonna be legend-... wait for it... and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!
-You are forcing me to be the voice of reason. And that's not a good look for me!
-Sorry, buddy, wish I could help you, but my hands are tied. Oh, no wait. That was last night.
-Ted, I believe you and I met for a reason. It's like the universe was saying, "Hey Barney, there's this dude, he's pretty cool, but it is your job to make him awesome"
-The camera loves me Robin - more than loves me the camera lusts me. The camera wants to put on some nice lingerie, pop in an Al Green CD, dim the lights, and do me as I lie there with my eyes closed.
79. Kiefer Sutherland
Full Character Name: Jack Bauer
Occupation: Federal Agent at CTU (retired) Currently fugitive.
-I'm federal agent Jack Bauer. This is the longest day of my life.
-Your brother was responsible for dozens of deaths. You're now responsible for thousands. Trust me, I haven't even begun to enjoy myself.
-I have killed two people since midnight, I haven't slept in over 24 hours. So maybe… maybe you should be a little more afraid of me than you are right now.
-No games, Christopher. I don’t need another reason to put a bullet in your brain.
-I can make you die with more pain than you ever imagined.
7.410. William Petersen
From: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Full Character Name: Gilbert "Gil" Grissom
Occupation: CSI Level 3, Night Shift Supervisor (retired). Forensic Entomology Specialist.
-Forget about your promotion Warrick, forget about making a hundred, forget about the husband, these things will only confuse you. Concentrate on what cannot lie: the evidence.
-There's too many forensics shows on TV.
-If you chase two rabbits, you end up losin' 'em both.
-I'm sure if there is something out there, looking down on us from somewhere else in the universe, they're wise enough to stay away from us.
-Well, someone once said, What we are never changes, but who we are ... never stops changing.
7.811. Stewie Griffin
From: Family Guy
Full Character Name: Stewart Gilligan Griffin
Occupation: Matricide and world domination.
-Hello, mother. I come bearing a gift. I’ll give you a hint. It’s in my diaper and it’s not a toaster.
-Well I’d love to stay and chat, but you’re a total bitch.
-Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So…this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn’t it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over.
-Damn you vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb.
-Email me at lois must die (all one word) at yahoo.com
7.312. Matthew Perry
Full Character Name: Chandler Muriel Bing
Occupation: Junior Advertising Copywriter
-I'm not really good at giving advices. Do you want a sarcastic comment?
-Donald Duck never wears pants. But when he gets out of the shower he ties a towel around his waist. I mean, what is up with that?
-No you didnt get me, its an electric drill, you get me you kill me!!
7.613. Bruce Willis
Full Character Name: David Addison Jr.
Occupation: Private detective.
[to pregnant Maddie]
-Louder. You're shouting for two now.
-I don't know about you, but I for one, I for one, hit my knees every night and thank the man upstairs that there is a little bit of dishonesty left in this otherwise sunny world. You just think about that. That's all I have to say.
-Hi, could you please tell me where I can find Booth Three?
Woman Behind Counter: [Stares blankly back as if she can't see or hear him]
-Ah, I see. First living brain donor.
-Yea, verily, we are married merrily... though at first
warily, and unfortunately quite sterilely.
7.314. Richard Dean Anderson
Full Character Name: Angus MacGyver
Occupation: Resourceful secret agent
-You know, you guys are missin' out on a great deal, if you kill me. I can help you. See, I'm kind of an expert with just about everything ...
-Sometimes I just hate it when I'm right.
-You sure seem to have of lot of information for not being involved.
-If this works, it'll keep us from getting' caught. If it doesn't, it'll keep us from gettin' old.
-You know, this may come as a shock to you, Jack, but most people go out and work for a living, instead of dragging their friends from one disaster to another.
7.315. George Peppard
From: The A-Team
Full Character Name: John 'Hannibal' Smith
Occupation: Lieutenant Colonel/Colonel (retired). A-Team leader.
-I love it when a plan comes together.
-Give me a minute, I'm good. Give me an hour, I'm great. Give me six months, I'm unbeatable.
-We want you and your whole pond of Peking ducks out of this neigborhood by two o' clock tomorrow. And pal, I don't mean 2.05.
-I believe that no matter how random things may appear, there's still a plan.
7.516. Michael J. Fox
From: Family Ties
Full Character Name: Alex P. Keaton
Occupation: Teaching assistant.
-Look, Mallory. I don't go out with girls who have an IQ lower than room temperature, or have contagious diseases, or friends of yours. And there's certainly some overlap in those categories.
-Skippy, remember when we were little kids, and I accidentally ran over you with my bicycle?... I drive a car now.
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