Cowboys & Aliens is hitting screens soon, and now Michael Bay is possibly on board to produce apocalyptic thriller Zombies Vs Robots, so TotalFilm booted up theirs copy of Photoshop 1.0 and came up with these unlikely additions to studio slates...
Title: Kittens & Nazis Tagline: Let the LOLocaust begin...
Plot: 1944, and the Nazis are experimenting on kittens in an effort to develop weapons so adorable that you'll literally die from cuteness overload... but the kittens fight back.
Title: Robots & Clowns Tagline: Our last line of defense is a punchline...
Plot: When robots from the future travel to present day Las Vegas to destroy the world as we know it, only the International Clown Convention can stand in their way...
Title Pirates & Unicorns Tagline Fifteen men on a dead man's quest
Plot: A band or pirates sail to the ends of the Earth to capture a mythical unicorn, but no-one has ever manged to capture one for good reason... they were too busy being slaughtered.
Title Skellingtons & Indians Tagline When there's no skin left to skalp...
Plot: The Native Americans had successful killed off any would be conquerers for centuries, but they made one fatal mistake - they laid their enemies to rest in Indian burial grounds. Tonight, the invasion begins again.
Title Demons & Lumberjacks Tagline Sometimes you can't see the wood for the bodies
Plot: A ragtag group of lumberjacks in the Alaskan wilderness just cut down the wrong tree, now they must fight for survival before they get cut down to size.
Title Knights & Mummies Tagline Things that go bump in the Knight...
Plot: A group of Knights Templar quest to Egypt in search of a hiding place for the grail, the enemy hot on their trail. Seeking a secure place to hide, they break open the entrance to a Pyramid, and awaken the evil inside... (you know, Mummies).
Title Conquistadors & Wizards Tagline Blessed by God. Cursed by magic
Plot: Invading Spanish mercenaries make their way deep into Peru, and lay claim to the lost Incan city they find there. But this is a place of magic, and there is now room for men of God.
Plot: A tribe of fearsome Vikings sail in search of new lands to pillage. But when they land on an island in the East, it turns out the peaceful looking natives are only bloody NINJAS! Bet you weren't expecting that...
TotalFilm is one of the largest (british established) film magazine in the world who spread news about films, dvd & Blu-Ray reviews, features and releases. Guest editors have been famous people like Peter Jackson and Ricky Gervais.