Top 10 worst movies 2016
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Nine Lives (2016)
Notes: Only a couple of weeks ago, Kevin Spacey was still regarded as one of the best American actors from the last 20 years but, overnight, he turned out to be a major sexual creep and many are predicting that his career is now pretty much over. On the other hand, considering Spacey’s latest movie choices, it seems that the guy himself actually didn’t really care anymore and this movie was a perfect example. I can imagine that when Kevin Spacey read this script, he knew from the start that it was some garbage but he also knew that he would only have to show up for a couple of scenes and do some voice-over work for the cat for the rest of the movie so he basically went for the easy money. Considering the movie itself, it was just such a misguided concept. Indeed, the body-swap is an old gimmick which has never been really interesting even when it was something new and this movie certainly didn’t add anything worthwhile to this concept. Eventually, the whole thing was just so boring and it was a big waste of time.
The 5th Wave (2016)
Notes: Following the footsteps of Kristen Stewart, Jennifer Lawrence and Shailene Woodley, Chloë Grace Moretz decided she should also have her own franchise based on a Young Adult novel, which wasn't really a bad decision career-wise. The only point was that the whole thing turned out to be pretty weak, I'm afraid. However, I don't thing that Moretz should be really blamed though. I mean, she was really charismatic and she did what she could with this material but there was not much that could be really done. Basically, the main thing that bothered me, except for the many plot-holes, was the lack of development of the characters. And, of course, even though the damned thing I might have some potential, it turned out to be just seriously boring.
The Last Face (2016)
Notes: When this movie was released, it turned out to be a huge critical flop but I still wanted to check it out anyway. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that the damned thing really deserved its poor reputation. Seriously, pretty much nothing worked in this movie. Indeed, first of all, they made the usual mistake of dealing with Africa and yet still only focusing on 2 Western characters. I mean, except for one doctor with a very small part, the Africans were only limited to either helpless victims or monstrous psychopaths with barely any dialogue whatsoever. Then, the directing was also surprisingly weak and also terribly pretentious. I mean, they criticized the whole Western world for not caring but they still managed to waste more than half the running time with a completely generic love story involving two white doctors. At least, Javier Bardem was a very good choice as he was charismatic without being too handsome and he did what he could with this material. I wish I could say the same for Charlize Theron who was as usual insanely gorgeous but her good looks actually worked against her and, to make things worse, she gave here one of her weakest performances ever.
Yoga Hosers (2016)
Notes: Well, it turned out to be pretty terrible and I'm not surprised that it is, according to the IMDB ratings, the worst movie delivered by Kevin Smith so far. I mean, I already had a hard time to care for 'Tusk' but this was even weaker. It's too bad because the beginning with these 2 bored teenage girls working in a convenient store, pretty much like in 'Clerks', was actually quite promising. Indeed, real life BFFs Harley Quinn Smith and Lily-Rose Depp had some nice chemistry together. Above all, Johnny Depp's daughter was seriously charismatic and I'm really curious to see what she will do in the future. Unfortunately, pretty much everything else was just some garbage. Seriously, it is rather difficult to understand what Kevin Smith is getting at with his Canadian horror trilogy. Indeed, it seems that it was conceived mostly to please the fans of his podcast but I'm not sure that the rest of the world really cares. Anyway, the concept in ‘Tusk’ was already rather difficult to swallow but, here, this whole idea of these Nazi sausages was just awful.
Gods of Egypt (2016)
Notes: Even though this movie was one of my highest priorities for 2016, it turned out to be a huge commercial and critical failure but I still wanted to check it out since I'm a big fan of Alex Proyas. Unfortunately, this movie turned out be indeed a massive disappointment. I mean, the whole thing looked really neat but, unfortunately, pretty much nothing else really worked in this movie. First of all, this movie received some big criticism for whitewashing the characters but I don’t really believe in this argument. Indeed, in my opinion, it is really naive to think that they could release such a blockbuster with some unknown Egyptian or Arab actors. So, even though the ethnicity of the actors was not really the issue here, it doesn’t change the fact that the cast was actually rather weak. Aside from the cast, the story was also really underwhelming. I mean, the whole thing about the prince who needs to fight against his uncle to get back his throne has been done to death by now and usually way better than in this movie.
Brasserie Valentine (2016)
Notes: Even though I didn’t have some huge expectations, I thought this movie still turned out to be seriously underwhelming. What bothered me the most was how fake it was. Seriously, they started the damned thing with a visually ambitious introduction with a terribly fake pigeon. Then, the whole thing took place in one restaurant, which wasn’t really a bad idea, but it was so obvious that the damned thing was just a movie set, it was just so unconvincing. Then, even though it took place in a restaurant, they never displayed any cooking, or at least, one of the dishes, reinforcing the general fake feeling. To make things worse, except for one awesome scene involving Lies Visschedijk ordering a very expensive wine bottle, all the characters were just so boring. At least, Georgina Verbaan did look lovely in her blue dress and I think she did what she could but this material was just really poor.
In My Father's Garden (2016)
Notes: Well, to be honest, I was amazed by how underwhelming this movie turned out to be. First of all, I have to admit it, I had actually no idea what it was about before watching the damned thing and it took me a while to more or less understand this story. It was in fact a major issue with this movie. What did the makers try to tell us? Should we feel sorry for Hans? Should we admire him? It was never clear. It seems that they didn't want to offend neither the atheïsts and the hardcore religious people so the movie landed really awkwardly in the middle. I mostly blame the directing. Sure, it was visually rather appealing but unfortunately terribly weak and also completely tone-deaf. It was like this mysterious character, Jozef Mieras. The guy kept popping up completely randomly and it was so poorly done, at some point, I thought they might pull some kind of 'Fight Club' trick on the viewers. Anyway, even though I'm atheïst, I have always been fascinated by religion and I believe it could have been a strong story, maybe the book is actually pretty good, but the materical was handled just really poorly here.
Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)
Notes: First of all, the whole thing was just seriously misguided. I mean, I have to admit it, ‘Independence Day’ was actually not bad but, contrary to ‘Jurassic Park’ or ‘Star Wars’, it never became such a classic that people would be eager to watch a sequel 20 years later and, of course, the damned thing turned out to be a flop. To make things worse, if ‘Independence Day’ was a silly but harmless Science-Fiction feature, this sequel was however just a boring mess. First of all, even though it seemed to be a no-brainer, they eventually didn’t manage to get Will Smith on board and, instead, they gave us a seriously uncharismatic and boring actor to play his son. So, the biggest star from the previous installment wouldn’t show up but, somehow, they thought it would be a great idea to bring back a whole bunch of completely minor characters from ‘Independence Day. Of course, they also added some new characters who were all equally underwhelming and boring to follow and, as a result, they would constantly jump between all these characters, each with their own tedious sub-plot, resulting in a massive mess. Sure, it was visually decent enough but pretty much nothing else really worked with this movie.
The Secret Life of Pets (2016)
Notes: I thought it was not bad but not much more than that, I'm afraid. What bothered me the most, I think, was how they shamelessly copied 'Toy Story'. Indeed, the concept was basically that, when we are not around, the pets seem to have some secret life. On top of that, one of them suddenly has to face the competition of a new pet and becomes really jealous and worried about his situation. I mean, seriously, you have to agree, it was pretty much exactly the same idea that was developed in 'Toy Story'. The only thing they really added was some ridiculous and unbelievable bad guy living in the sewers with a whole community. I mean, the best moments were when they tried to provide some funny but still fairly realistic scenes but, unfortunately, they came up with a rather convoluted and underwhelming plot.
Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016)
Notes: Eventually, even though it was a decent watch, it didn't really blow me away and I thought it was a slight step down from the previous installment which remains the best in this franchise. Still, I have to admit it, the whole thing really did look amazing and, in my opinion, it is the most gorgeous animated feature produced by Dreamworks so far. Seriously, it was really impressive and even the 3D which is always underwhelming in this genre was pretty neat here. Unfortunately, even though visually it worked really well, I can’t say I really cared about the story.
These are the worst movies I have seen which came out in 2016.
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