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Added by GruntLogic on 20 Feb 2012 05:35
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Stupid movies you'd be stupid to watch.

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People who added this item 1136 Average listal rating (715 ratings) 4.8 IMDB Rating 4.4
Ultraviolet (2006)
Understand this: I like Milla Jovovich. I really do. I like the idea of vampires. I like stories set in a dystopian future. This movie has all of those things, and yet it manages to be so god-awful that it borders on being unwatchable.
I bought this movie on impulse, and it is the only movie that had to stop watching so I could snap the disc in half and throw it in the garbage.
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People who added this item 445 Average listal rating (267 ratings) 6.1 IMDB Rating 6.7
This might be the most painfully boring movie I've ever seen. I watched this movie for about a solid hour before I had to stop. I don't know what was happening, and I really didn't care. As far as I could tell, nothing at all was happening. Just some people running their suck-holes for their own satisfaction.
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People who added this item 3137 Average listal rating (2010 ratings) 6.7 IMDB Rating 7
Underworld (2003)
As I previously stated, I like the idea of vampires. I also really like werewolves. This movie manages to get both of those things horribly wrong.
The vampires in this movie are hipsters. They're all about being cool, without wanting to seem cool. And really there's nothing about them that really makes them vampires and not, say, mutants. Seriously, if you just replaced the word mutant for vampire, nothing changes. And the werewolves look like gigantic hairless chihuahuas. And they used uzi's. Seriously.
And apparently there was some dude who looked kinda like Scott Stapp (if you don't know who that is, just understand he's a douchy self-important shithead) and he was supposed to be important for some reason or other, also he's some kind of pseudo love interest character for Kate Beckinsdale's character. I don't know. It's a confused mess when it comes to story.
This movie was just all about setting up ridiculous action sequences that have been done hundreds of times (and done better) in other movies.
Yawn-a-rama.
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Hayden Christensen is one of the worst actors ever, period. That kid has the personality of a wooden post.
Every scene he's in he drags down. Which is a damn shame, because I really like Ewan McGregor and Natalie Portman. Those two are more than capable of turning in stellar performances, but not here. I suppose there's only so much you can do with a terrible script.
But the worst to me was what was supposed to pass for chemistry between Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman. Their performances vacillated between wooden and melodramatic. It was just painful to watch. I didn't see two characters in love, I could only see two actors reading terrible lines to each other. Just god-awful.
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People who added this item 4917 Average listal rating (3303 ratings) 6.2 IMDB Rating 6.7
I really just have to pretend that this movie doesn't exist. It retroactively ruins the first movie, which is to say, the ONLY good Matrix movie.
From top to bottom, the entire concept for this movie is idiotic. It's a sequel that didn't need to exist.

The worst part of this movie is the weird soldier buddies sub-plot. The salty Sarge and the inexperienced Rookie. Everything about that sub-plot was so hokey and predictable and it just screamed cliche.
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People who added this item 214 Average listal rating (121 ratings) 4.8 IMDB Rating 5
Speaking of sequels that didn't need to exist! My god, I don't even know where to start with this movie. Shitty actors, shitty script, shitty director, shitty concept for a movie, just... my god. This movie is a cinematic abortion.
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People who added this item 1801 Average listal rating (1180 ratings) 5.7 IMDB Rating 5.9
Again, shitty sequels abound in this list! This movie goes along with Underworld when it comes to really trying entirely too hard to try to look "Cool."
I mean really, if you see some dude walking down the street dressed entirely in black, black leather pants, black muscle t-shirt, black trench coat, black sunglasses... It's like dude, you're trying too hard. I get it, I get, you desperately want to be cool. Just settle the fuck down and stop being a walking cliche.
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People who added this item 484 Average listal rating (340 ratings) 5 IMDB Rating 5.8
Semi-Pro (2008)
Will Ferrell can act. I know he can, I've seen it (see: Stranger Than Fiction), but this movie is based entirely around the idea that Will Ferrell is an idiot. Period. That's the whole joke. He's a moron who doesn't realize what a moron he is, and he's too dumb to ever understand that.
This movie is the equivalent of just watching Jack Black slapping his belly for an hour and a half. It's the character's one gimmick and nothing else.
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Gore itself cannot carry a movie. No matter how graphic or frequent. That is all this movie has going for it. Just random, nonsense. There are movies that you can just shut off your brain to enjoy (see: Summer popcorn flicks) but with this movie, you might as well do the same, because there's absolutely nothing going on here that requires so much as a single thought.
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People who added this item 1763 Average listal rating (1034 ratings) 7.3 IMDB Rating 7.6
This is what happens when you make the movie Saving Private Ryan, if you cut out all the warfare scenes. Seriously, I didn't know you could make World War II boring, but this movie is proof that it can be done. Clocking in at nearly three hours, this movie is a ridiculous example of an auteur director stroking himself.
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People who added this item 4789 Average listal rating (3168 ratings) 6.5 IMDB Rating 7.2
Troy (2004)
Ya know, I'm okay with playing with classic stories, having a fresh perspective through which to view a classic tale.
This movie doesn't do that. It takes the standard story we all know, and is completely ball-less in telling it. There's nothing new here.
I mean, if you like watching Brad Pitt's rock-hard abs glistening in the sun, then you're in luck, otherwise you can pass on this movie.
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People who added this item 44 Average listal rating (24 ratings) 4.8 IMDB Rating 5.3
Vulgar (2000)
This movie is just all about bad taste. And ya know, I can get that, I really can. I'm all about pushing the limits of taste. It's just that this movie does so for it's own sake. There isn't a message here. It's just violence for it's own sake, acted poorly by amateur actors.
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People who added this item 631 Average listal rating (319 ratings) 7.6 IMDB Rating 7.5
El Topo (1970)
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People who added this item 693 Average listal rating (400 ratings) 6.1 IMDB Rating 6.5
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People who added this item 1551 Average listal rating (1055 ratings) 6.2 IMDB Rating 6.7
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People who added this item 1878 Average listal rating (1240 ratings) 6.6 IMDB Rating 6.8
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People who added this item 1034 Average listal rating (723 ratings) 3.8 IMDB Rating 3.8
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People who added this item 147 Average listal rating (99 ratings) 4.8 IMDB Rating 4.8
Knock Off (1998)
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People who added this item 3172 Average listal rating (1979 ratings) 6.6 IMDB Rating 6.6
Secret Window (2004)
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People who added this item 305 Average listal rating (208 ratings) 4.8 IMDB Rating 5.1
Get Carter (2000)
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People who added this item 124 Average listal rating (82 ratings) 5.2 IMDB Rating 5.4
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People who added this item 1654 Average listal rating (894 ratings) 6.9 IMDB Rating 6.8
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People who added this item 136 Average listal rating (92 ratings) 5.1 IMDB Rating 5.8
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People who added this item 595 Average listal rating (424 ratings) 4.1 IMDB Rating 4.1
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Comments

Posted: 5 years, 5 months ago at Feb 24 5:55
Great list! It actually reminded me that I hate a lot of these movies more than I had expressed with my previous ratings. Suffice to say, the issue has been rectified. I think the only movie on here that I'm still stupid enough to watch is the Tree of Life... We'll see when/if I get around to that...
Posted: 5 years, 2 months ago at May 5 0:03
I'm just glad I'm not the only one. =)
Posted: 4 years, 7 months ago at Dec 17 13:35
I'm afraid I can't agree with you about 6 of these. As for the remainder of the list, I found 3 passable and the rest...absolutely a waste of time. :)
Posted: 4 years, 4 months ago at Mar 14 6:20
Hmm...yep, thoughts would be helpful here. I've seen 9 of these & of those found more of them worth watching than not (though I don't see a single film on here that I think is a MUST see).

Ah, but I do see some here that I'd avoided due to negative feedback or terrible trailers or simply lack of interest, so that's good. :)
Posted: 4 years, 4 months ago at Mar 14 6:26
I agree with 'the giraffe', it would indeed be very helpful if you'd add some reasoning here. Otherwise, not a bad list.
Posted: 4 years, 4 months ago at Mar 14 7:28
Well at least we're both stupid.
Posted: 4 years, 4 months ago at Mar 14 10:04
I've been stupid 13 times. Thought that number would have been a lot higher.
Posted: 1 week, 1 day ago at Jul 16 0:57
Now I am interested in seeing Vulgar to see if it is really that shitty. Damn it!

As for Troy: http://www.listal.com/list/funniest-movie-mistakes

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