To put this crazy brawl into perspective, we must examine Chevy's long legacy of assholery.
Johnny Carson once said about Chevy, "he couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner." Ouch. SNL co-workers said Chevy would pick on people relentlessly, and spent to much time doing cocaine and bossing people around on the set.
He told Saturday Night Live co-star Jane Curtin "he didn't think women were very funny." Chevy said to Robert Downey Jr, "Didn't your father used to be a successful director? Whatever happened to him? Boy, he sure died, you know, he sure went to hell." When he guest starred on SNL in the 80s, Chevy asked the first openly gay star of the show, Terry Sweeney "You're gay, right?" Terry said, "Yes, what can I do for you?" And Chevy responded with "Well, you can start by licking my balls."
He also suggested they do a skit where they weigh Terry every week to see if he contracted AIDS. During a meeting, Chevy said to one female writer "Wanna give me a hand job later?" Will Ferrell said about Chevy, "I don't know if he was on something or what. If he took too many back pills that day or something." Lorne Michaels was so embarrassed he banned Chevy from the show for life.
Okay, so now that we're through with all THAT, let's start with how the feud between Bill and Chevy began. Chevy had left SNL in the first season and Bill Murray was hired as a replacement. People were bitching about Bill and said he sucked, which made him really mad. John Belushi also fueled the animosity between the two by poisoning the cast against Chevy.
So when Chevy returned to guest host, shit went down. Bill said in a later interview, "I got into a fight with Chevy the night he came back to host. That was because I was the new guy, and it was sort of like it was my job to do that. It would have been too petty for someone else to do that. It' almost like I was goaded into that."
Moments before the night's show was about to begin, Bill pointed out how much everyone hated Chevy, to which he replied that Bill's pock-marked face "looked like something Neil Armstrong had landed on." Bill retorted, "Why don't you fuck your wife once in a while? She needs it." That's when the fists started to fly, and they were pulled apart by Bill's brother Brian.
Director John Landis said about the incident, "I didn't know Bill Murray, but he's screaming, you know, foaming at the mouth, 'Fucking Chevy,' and in anger he says, 'Medium talent!' And I thought, 'Oh boy, that's funny. In anger he says "medium talent."' That really impressed me. I went, 'So, Bill Murray - wow, who is that guy?'"
But the two apparently reconciled and went on to star in Caddyshack together.
WHO WON: Although Chevy was able to put on a happy face and do the show just a few minutes after the heated incident, Bill Murray has by far had a better career than Chevy, who's starred in more than many stinkers since then. I really really love Chevy Chase, but everyone thinks he's a total dick. For good reason though. And Bill Murray is an asshole himself, his wife claimed that he was an abusive husband and father, and that he threatened to kill her. Although they are both immensely talented, Chevy tends to pick terrible films.
That's not exactly a thing to brag about though bro. Not anymore, at least.
If anyone knows anything about Andy Dick, it's that he's a total dick. And a shitty Z-lister. So when Jon Lovitz punched Andy Dick out and apparently smashed his face so hard into a table that he got a nosebleed, Jon lived out everybody's fantasy.
The feud started when Jon's friend and fellow SNL co star, Phil Hartman, was shot to death by his wife Brynn during a cocaine fueled rage. And guess who introduced her back to cocaine? Andy the dick. So Jon held a grudge, saying "Andy was doing cocaine, and he gave Brynn some after she had been sober for 10 years. Phil was furious about it -- and then five months later he's dead."
When they ran into each other at a bar, Jon said "I wanted him to say he was sorry for the 'Phil Hartman hex.' (Basically Andy told Jon that he had cursed Phil to die, and that he then cursed Jon too) First, he says, 'I don't remember saying that.' Then he leans in and says, 'You know why I said it? Because you said I killed Phil Hartman.' Which I never said. Then he asked me to be in his new movie." According to witnesses, Jon then grabbed Andy by the hair and smashed his head into the bar several times, yelling, "I don't want to be in your movie! I don't want to be in your life!"
"All the comedians are glad I did it because this guy is an asshole," says Jon. "I'm not proud of it... but he's a disgusting human being."
WHO WON: Although Jon Lovitz is not always a really funny guy and tends to star in crappy movies, he is definitely way better and is at least talented, unlike Mr Dick. Plus he kicked Andy's ass, so no duh.
Back in 1992 when Tim Burton was casting roles for Batman, Sean Young was the first choice for Vicki Vale. But then she got injured in a horse riding accident. No problem though, because she wanted the role as Catwoman in the sequel Batman Returns. When Sean was turned down, she became enraged.
She stormed into the studio during pre-production with a bunch of her cronies, and demanded to speak to Tim, who timidly hid under a desk. But she would not be ignored, for Sean went on Joan Rivers' show and claimed "she was the only woman who could be Catwoman, and looked at the camera and told Tim that he made a huge mistake and he was going to be sorry."
WHO WON: Obviously Tim. Sean lost her much coveted role to Michelle Pffeifer. Making a scene in public did not work.
Also, Sean Young has had a history of craziness and weird behavior and she supposedly (I say this because James might just be a slimy liar) stalked James Woods and did some other...bad...shit...
To quote People magazine:
"The Synopsis: As breakups go, theirs was a terrifying one. He, after a brief affair, had unceremoniously dumped her to return to his fiancée. She, enraged, began a retaliatory vendetta. Hate mail suddenly appeared in his mailbox. So did pictures of corpses and dismembered animals. Then, one night, he found a mutilated doll at his door—apparently a macabre reminder of his fiancée's abortion. The doll's neck had been cut and iodine splashed on its chest to simulate blood. White makeup was caked on the face to make it resemble a corpse.
While Young has denied the accusation to police and FBI investigators, and even denies having had an affair with the actor, Woods remains adamant that she is his anonymous persecutor. Lawyers are preparing for a mudslinging court showdown.
Woods's suit alleges that starting in the late fall of 1987, coinciding with the filming of The Boost, Young harassed Woods and his fiancée, Sarah Owen, 25, trampled $500 worth of flowers in their Beverly Hills garden, made threatening phone calls and put the couple on antiabortion mailing lists. Court documents claim that the material Young allegedly caused to be mailed "includes but is not limited to written letters and also...photographs and graphic representations of violent acts, deceased persons, dead animals, gore, mutilation and other images specifically designed to cause Woods and Owen...great emotional distress."
The butchered doll was particularly grisly and particularly sinister. The day after its appearance, says Woods's attorney, Dale Kinsella, "a note was placed on Woods's doorstep apologizing for the delivery, but indicating that the person who had done so had done it at Ms. Young's instruction and that Young was upset because he had [not hung] it from one of the rafters per specific instruction."
Sean probably did it though. She has bipolar and depression and is also an alcoholic, so why the hell wouldn't she? Read the full thing here.
Bette Davis and Joan Crawford had detested each other for more than 30 years, until both their deaths. It was golden era Hollywood's most notorious cat fight. It all started over a man, Franchot Tone, who had just divorced Bette when Joan sunk her claws into him.
Bette said: ” I fell in love with Franchot, professionally and privately. Everything about him reflected his elegance, from his name to his manners.” And she became madly jealous after learning that Joan and him were having a fling, and that Joan would often greet him naked at her door. ” He was madly in love with her. They met each day for lunch…he would return to the set, his face covered in lipstick…He was honoured this great star was in love with him. I was jealous of course.”
Bette called Joan a "shallow mannequin” with eyebrows like “African caterpillars” and said that Joan “had slept with every male star at MGM, except Lassie.” Joan said “Poor Bette,she looks like she’s never had a happy day, or night, in her life.” Their bitter feelings reached a boiling point when the two psycho-biddies co starred in the classic What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?
"Bette, the attacker in the movie, was supposed only to simulate violence.
But as she raised and swung her right foot, encased in a black anklestrapped shoe, she made contact with Joan's head, gashing her scalp, which needed three stitches, and causing a lump the size of an egg."
WHO WON: While Joan may have stolen's Bette's dude, Bette kicked her extremely hard in the head and had way harsher disses. Plus Joan was a terrible mother, as you can read in her daughter's book Mommy Dearest. So we gotta give the killer queen crown to Bette fucking Davis!
This one is completely weird, gross and unnecessary. During the 1993 MTV VMAs, they paired up 85 year old comedian Milton Berle and tranny RuPaul to present an award. WTF was going on in those MTV producers' warped minds?
Obviously the two had conflicts backstage, but it was even dumber when they got out on front stage. Milton groped RuPaul's (fake?) breasts and said he used to dress in drag too. RuPaul replied, “So you used to wear gowns, but now you’re wearing diapers.” Milton said, “Oh, we’re going to ad lib? I’ll check my brain and we’ll start even.”
WHO WON: None. They're both moronic and avoided each other until Milton's death in 2002
Sinead O'Connor was always a bizarre woman who incited controversy with her erratic behavior. In October 1992, Sinead was a musical guest on Saturday Night Live. After performing Bob Marley's provocative song War, she yelled "Fight the real enemy!" and tore up a picture of Pope John Paul II. The audience and producers were stunned and immediately cut to commercials.
Although she did this to bring attention to the abuse that ran rampant in the Catholic church, Christians everywhere were enraged and burned, banned and boycotted her music. Especially rabid was devout Catholic Frank Sinatra. He'd already hated her since 1990, when Sinead said that she wouldn't perform if the Star Spangled Banner was played before her concert. The patriotic Frank threatened to "kick her ass."
After she tore up the picture, Frank was even more angry and said that he would've "punched her in the mouth if she wasn't a girl."
WHO WON: Basically let's take a look at who suffered more. Sinead's career is the one that went down the shithole because of the incident, and NBC was fined 2.5 million from the FCC. Even to this day, many people
agree with Frank's rude comments and despise Sinead.
Also, Prince beat up Sinead for ripping off his song. Yup, Prince. Mr flamboyant, effeminate 5 ft 2 Prince kicked Sinead's ass, while all she could do was hiss and spit on him.
A rockstar fighting with a fashion designer. How incredibly inane. Axl is a classic jerk though, and is known for starting shit and mouthing off for no good reason at all. Most people in the music industry, including his former bandmates from Guns N Roses, hate his guts. So this is just another ridiculous disagreement Axl can add to his hall of shame.
In May 2006, Axl and Tommy were at Rosario Dawson's birthday party in a New York club. I don't know why or how Rosario befriended the two, but apparently they're friends of hers, and close enough to invite to a b-day party. Of course, it all escalated into ugliness when Axl moved Tommy's girlfriend's drink "to keep it from spilling." Tommy yelled "What the fuck?!?!" at Axl and then told him not to "fucking touch her fucking drink," and then smacked his arm and told him to put it back.
Axl obviously didn't and the two began to scuffle, but were broken up when Tommy punched Axl in the cheek. His own bodyguard had to drag him off, kicking and screaming. Later Axl filled out a police report and played the song "You're Crazy," dedicating it "to my good friend Tommy Hilfiger."
WHO WON: Though Axl is a pain in the ass, Tommy fashion fancy boy Hilfiger was the one who was kicked out of the club. The owner of the club Plumm, Noel Ashman, even said "Axl was a gentleman and had the good sense not to retaliate." Axl may have gotten a bruised face, but Tommy had his ego bruised.
Ever since Kurt Cobain died, there have been constant legal battles about who owns the rights to Nirvana's music. Courtney, being Kurt's crazed wife and all, tries to control everything and anything he ever owned or was a part of.
Courtney constantly insults Dave and accuses him in Twitter rants that he "hit on her" and was "sexually obsessed with Kurt." To this Dave nonchalantly replies that the feud between them is "Pretty quiet. I'm sure I'll have to speak to her again soon, but it's quiet right now. I read recently that we were having a new feud but if I remember correctly it takes two people to constitute a feud."
WHO WON: Dave, because everyone sees Courtney as a trashy, no good opportunist.
Ice's classic rap song Cop Killer incited a lot of shock and controversy for it's crude lyrics about murdering policemen. Politicians like George H.W. Bush, Dan Qayle and Tipper Gore were deeply offended by it, but the most angry was NRA icon and proud Republican, Charlton Heston.
Charlton was flabbergasted by the obscene lyrics and disgustedly recited them in front of a Time-Warner shareholder's meeting in an attempt to embarrass the company for publishing the song.
“What I did was against the advice of my family and my colleagues. I asked for the floor. To a hushed room of a thousand average American stockholders, I simply read the full lyrics of “Cop Killer” — every vicious, vulgar, instructional word: ‘I got my 12-Gauge sawed-off. I got my headlights turned off. I’m about to bust some shots off. I’m about to dust some cops off.’ It got worse, a lot worse.”
WHO WON: Charlton, because Ice T went on to play a cop in Law & Order.
The founder and CEO of Black Kapital Records (cute name huh) allegedly hung Vanilla out of a 15th story balcony window in Bel Age Hotel in an attempt to blackmail him into signing royalties from the shit smash hit "Ice Ice Baby" over to his client Floyd "Earthquake" Brown.
WHO WON: Although Vanilla took it to court and got his $ back from Suge after the initial agreement, Vanilla Ice sucks for ripping off Queen and nobody likes him or his crap rap. Needless to say, both are idiots.
Severin Severin's rating:
Most famous people are idiots with bloated egos. Naturally, such self-important douchebags will eventually clash. These are their dumb stories.