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Shitcase Cinema - Movie Reviews

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2012

The latest reviews from Shitcase Cinema, more updated to quality and songs added to the videos, along with some things we've been waiting for as the dagger finally reaches Seagal territory.

4.4

1. Within the Woods (2005)

4.8

2. The Ultimate Ninja (1986)

Stuart Smith is my #3 favorite Ninja actor, but still, this movie should have had Gordon or Ultimate Ninja Master Dickey

132

3.4

2.9

3. Hercules in New York (1969)

If you think Arnold is a bad actor, wait till you see Pretzy...

3.5

2.6

4. Mega Piranha (2010)

Yep, another one of those Asylum movies made form someone locked up in one.

3.9

5. Rage of Ninja (1988)

"I was so close to becoming the Ultimate NINJJAAAA!!!!"

Really, this is the best Ninja movie that don't have Richard Harrison in it, I've seen it about 4 or 5 times already and was laughing uncontrollably each time.

Frank's rating:

818

6.1

6.5

6. The Running Man (1987)

Can you really believe that's James Brown (the football player) as the Christmas Tree guy?

Frank's rating:

7.5

4.6

7. Endangered Species (2003)

1.7

8. Kingdom of Gladiators (2011)

This is something you have got to see for yourself, that is if you have too much time on your hands and want to play a game with yourself to see if you can tell what is edited between some horrible CGI and photoshop

Frank's rating:

560

5.9

6.3

9. Under Siege (1992)

Cause he's Segal!

506

6.7

10. Bad Taste (1987)

Before Lord of the Rings....Peter Jackson made this masterpiece

Frank's rating:

965

6.5

11. Commando (1985)

The Commando review from 2008 was removed due to copy right (along with Passenger 57), but here is the Bennett Song

Note: If it's re-uploaded, I'll add it.

360

5.8

5.9

12. Hard Target (1993)

Seen one Van Damme movie, you've seen them all, but can't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of all of them, and that funny song "I'm Van Damme!"

Frank's rating:

6.6

3.8

13. Undefeatable (1993)

ANNNAAAAAA!!!!!!

2.6

14. El Chupacabra (2003)

Love the rap song in this one, who the hell is Treach anyway?

2011

Following a 3 year anniversary John and Proffesor Bruce shed light on shit you probably can't remember that was Oscar worthy such as A.P.E.X. (COMMANDER!!!!) Death Wish 3, and the Cyborg Cop trilogy.

4.9

5.5

15. Death Machine (1994)

6.8

16. Street Trash (1987)

201

6.5

6.1

17. Silver Bullet (1985)

BUESY PORN!

Frank's rating:

8.5

18. The Ninja Squad (1986)

"I'm bad Gordon! Ivan the Red!"

Really, these movies are the greatest ever made. Upon watching all these reviews, I had to start watching them myself, so I know.

Frank's rating:

166

5.4

19. Lock Up (1989)

3.2

20. Camp Blood 2 (2000)

3.9

21. Cyborg Cop (1993)

Remember those "Fanny Packs" quite well, who would have guessed that bad guy would be in the Lord of the Rings 10 years later?

146

6.3

5.6

22. Death Wish 3 (1985)

Bronson! He's fucking invincible!

4.1

4.2

23. Fortress 2: Re-Entry (2000)

5.1

4.3

24. Graveyard Shift (1990)

Frank's rating:

3.7

25. Cyborg Soldier (1994)

4.1

26. A.P.E.X. (1994)

COMMANDER!!!.....COMMANDER!!!.....COMMANDER! So many great acting scenes in this movie, especially that woman too.

2.8

3.6

27. Snakehead Terror (2004)

3.7

28. Deadly Swarm (2003)

239

6.9

7.3

29. Jason and the Argonauts (1963)

This really is not a bad movie, and the stop motion looks so much better than CGI today

3.9

30. The Sender (1998)

2.4

31. Killjoy (2000)

374

5.4

32. Village of the Damned (1995)

3.2

33. Cyborg Cop III (1995)

2.1

34. Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)

Frank's rating:

860

5.6

6.3

35. Arachnophobia (1990)

Frank's rating:

251

6.5

6.6

36. Prince of Darkness (1987)

857

5.7

6.3

37. Cliffhanger (1993)

201

6.2

38. Cat's Eye (1985)

This movie is real shit if you are asking me.

Frank's rating:

331

6.7

39. Night of the Living Dead (1990)

Frank's rating:

2765

6.8

7.3

40. Face/Off (1997)

Always found this movie to be massively overrated, as Nic Cage really gets on my nerves as an actor

Frank's rating:

161

3.7

3.5

41. Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation (2004)

2.3

42. Curse of the Swamp Creature (1966)

3.9

4.5

43. Hard Cash (2002)

Val Kilmer earned an Oscar with that line "Do I look like an IDIOT!?"

2010

"The Gun is Good and the Penis is Evil."

John finds the greatest movie ever made and worships the mighty stone head (Zardoz), and many others we may remember as being total shit when they first came out (Broken Arrow, Deep Blue Sea)

6.4

5.8

44. Frankenhooker (1990)

That bodyguard really does look like Freddie Mercury

5.9

5.3

45. Charro! (1969)

4.3

46. Sleepstalker (1995)

Frank's rating:

105

5.5

4.9

47. American Ninja (1985)

Frank's rating:

6.1

6.4

48. Horror Express (1972)

119

5.7

5.5

49. Leviathan (1989)

172

5.5

5.9

50. Krull (1983)

Shining light on one of the funniest and best movie reviews on Youtube. Shitcase Cinema showed me to some of the most hilarious shit movies like Godfrey Ho's Ninja movies, and some of these you'll probably remember for being huge disappointments you probably rented or even seen a long time ago.

I will update this list by every new video added.

Note: as Johnny stresses, you can't really take most of these reviews seriously, or the man seriously himself. So keep your feelings held back from bursting in anger if he's reviewing something you actually like, cause sometimes he does review good movies (It, The Exorcist) but it's all for fun and games.