"What good fortune for governments that the people do not think."
Hitler is without a doubt the most infamous person who ever lived. Not the most evil in my opinion, but he's known for his rampant anti Semitism that caused the death of millions of innocent Jews, gypsies, homosexuals and people with mental and physical illness.
As a young boy, little Adolf Hitler was abused by his father Alois repetitively. Alois was an alcoholic prone to crazy rage. Hitler wanted to be an artist and disobeyed and argued with his superiors, which enraged his father to the point where he was violently beaten. He was also the oldest male child in his family which made him a prime target for his psychotic father.
Hitler later joined the German army and fought in WWI. One of his testicles were shot off, inspiring the famous tune "Hitler has only got one ball."
The lyrics (sung to the tune of The Colonel Bogey March)
'Hitler has only got one ball,
The other is on the kitchen wall,
His mother, the dirty bugger,
Chopped it off when he was small.
She threw it, into the apple tree
The wind blew it into the deep blue sea
Where the fishes got off their dishes and ate scallops and bollocks for tea'
An alternative version has the lyrics:
‘Hitler has only got one ball,
Goering has two but very small.
Himmler is somewhat sim'lar,
But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all.’
LMAO splitting my freakin sides here!!
I don't know how this art school reject could even think that he could become the grand Nazi fuhrer of Germany, and it's puzzling that he actually did. Hitler's powerful speeches and support among the German elite took him to the top of the mountain, but at the end his treachery and evil caught up with him and he committed suicide with his girlfriend Eva Braun in their underground bunker.
He's also known for his Chaplin mustache.
How could anyone even take this dude seriously?
The only good thing:
Nazis were savage dickwads but they sure had awesome parades:
From 1917 to 1953, this psychopathic leader of the Soviet Union had anywhere from 10 to 20 million people systematically killed in gulags, death squads, war and from other atrocities during the Red Terror. He was ruthless and strict and ruled Russia with an iron fist. People who were suspected of being "traitors" were dragged off in the middle of the night and never seen again.
Stalin was abused brutally as a kid, so it's not wonder he turned out nuts. His father would beat him until he pissed blood. While he was only 5"7, Stalin would scrap with other boys in the schoolyard and beat them mercilessly. His lack of empathy is what got him to where he was in the first place.
There is no exact number of deaths because the NKVD and Soviet archives are heavily censored. Stalin killed millions more than Hitler, yet he's not nearly as well known.
The one good thing:
The Soviet army was the most powerful, deadly and well trained in the entire world.
“We serial killers are your sons, we are your husbands, we are everywhere. And there will be more of your children dead tomorrow”
“I'm as cold a motherfucker as you've ever put your fucking eyes on. I don't give a shit about those people.”
The most well known serial killer of all time, Theodore Robert Bundy, is estimated to have killed anywhere from 40 to 100 women.
Damn creepy bastard. Bundy would hit women on the head with a crowbar, drag them to a secluded location, strangle them and then rape their corpses. GROSS! And the weird thing was, he was seemingly normal, for a serial killer at least. He went to college, came from a good family, had friends, a girlfriend, but he was a nut on the inside.
"The best political weapon is the weapon of terror. Cruelty commands respect. Men may hate us. But, we don't ask for their love; only for their fear."
Commander of the SS Schutzstaffel and head of the concentration camps, where inmates were gassed with toxic poison in chambers and systematically worked and starved to death. Himmler is the asshole directly responsible for the genocide of millions.
The only good thing:
Himmler committed suicide on May 13 1945 and rid the world of his evil, cold blooded self.
"I have killed peasants men and women, old and young, who lived where the Danube flows into the sea, up to such places as Samovit and Ghighen. We killed 23,884 Bulgars without counting those whom we burned in homes or the Turks whose heads were cut by our soldiers."
Vlad was feared across Romania as an evil tyrant with no mercy. His family was gruesomely murdered, and he was void of emotion and sympathy at an early age. Vlad's father was murdered and dumped in a marsh, and his brother was blinded with red hot pokers and buried alive.
Vlad hated Turks because they forced the Muslim religion onto Romania, which obviously went against their Christian traditions. He vowed to murder every Turk he could get his hands on, and killed them in tens of thousands with his army. After he became prince of Wallachia, Vlad carried out even more cruel and torturous punishments.
Just get a load of this:
"His brutal punishment methods were well known. It is said he often ordered people to be skinned, boiled, decapitated, blinded and roasted. He also liked to cut off people's noses, ears, limbs and sexual organs. But his favorite punishment of all was impalement, hence his sobriquet, the Impaler. This gruesome, typically slow and excruciatingly painful way to die often involved driving a stake from the victim's buttocks to his or her mouth. The stakes are said to have been oiled and smoothed so that death would come slowly. He is said to have killed as many as 100,000 in this fashion, often thousands in a single day."
Ouch. He'd also like to eat meals in front of people impaled on stakes, they were a kind of entertainment for him and even fueled his appetite.
But his knack for cruelty wasn't just limited to his foes. Any disobedience from his subjects was met with great severity.
Dracula created a very severe moral code for the citizens of Walachia. You can guess what happened to anyone who broke the code. Thieves were impaled, even liars were impaled. Naturally there wasn't a lot of crime in Walachia during his reign.
To prove how well his laws worked, Dracula had a gold cup placed in a public square. Anyone who wanted to could drink from the cup, but no one was allowed to take it out of the square. No one did.
A visiting merchant once left his money outside all night, thinking that it would be safe because of Dracula's strict policies. To his surprise, some of his coins were stolen. He complained to Dracula, who promptly issued a proclamation that the money must be returned or the city would be destroyed. That night Dracula secretly had the missing money, plus one extra coin, returned to the merchant. The next morning the merchant counted the money and found it had been returned. He told Dracula about this, and mentioned the extra coin. Dracula replied that the thief had been caught and would be impaled. And if the merchant hadn't mentioned the extra coin, he would have been impaled, too.
According to another story, he invited 500 boyars to a banquet and asked them how many princes had ruled in their lifetimes. They said they had lived through many reigns. Shouting that this was their fault because of their plotting, Dracula had them all arrested on the spot. The older ones were impaled; the others were marched 50 miles to Poenari where they were forced to build a mountaintop fortress. They worked a long time; when their clothes fell off, they worked naked. Most of them died, of course. And of course Dracula seized the boyars' property and passed it out to his supporters. In that way he created a new nobility, loyal to him.
Vlad was also really cocky. He would have weird pictures painted of him ordering the executions of famous people. For example, this is him killing Jesus:
What a loon. Most definitely the biggest sadist of all time!
The only good thing:
Vlad inspired Bram Stoker's vampire classic Dracula. People often thought Vlad was a vampire and that he drank the blood of his victims.
"Oderint dum metuant"
(Let them hate me so long as they fear me)
Caligula is the biggest pervert of all time. Cal was a salacious, dirty, slag of an emperor. Here's a shortened list of all his douchebaggery:
- he screwed his own sister (and possibly, murdered her)
- he killed his nephew
- he threw people to the lions for entertainment
- he screwed his dinner guest's wives, and raped them even if they didn't want to
- he killed a guy, and called his father over to have dinner with him the next day
- when people were being disemboweled, he told the guards to make their death as slow and painful as it possibly could be
- he turned the royal palace into a whorehouse
- made his horse a senator
- made people worship him like he was a god
- purposely starved the people of Rome
and many other things. That's not even half of the awful shit Cal did.
Sounds like he had a fun life though. But he was murdered at the age of 28 by his own bodyguards. His wife and baby daughter's heads were smashed open on the palace steps.
The man who fiddled while Rome burned, who killed his own mother and pregnant wife, who dressed up like a woman and performed in plays, who massacred Christians, the one they call the Antichrist, the fat nasty bastard Nero!
What a guy. This is how he persecuted Christians:
"In their very deaths they were made the subjects of sport: for they were covered with the hides of wild beasts, and worried to death by dogs, or nailed to crosses, or set fire to, and when the day waned, burned to serve for the evening lights."
Setting dogs on people, using them as human candles, what the hell?
I'd say Nero wasn't evil, just a fat flamboyant moron. He was forced to commit suicide after everyone got sick of his weird bullshit.
"Away with this shit!"
To people who were about to be sent to gas chambers
They called him the angel of death, the sick doctor who performed gruesome experiments on concentration camp victims and left them traumatized and deformed. In the words of the people who knew him:
"Mengele was known as a manic collector of things human, including dwarf corpses, gallstones, and eyes. His fascination with eyes led to the infamous experiments in which he injected various substances into the eyes of brown-eyed Jewish children in an attempt to make them Nordic (blue)."
"I have never accepted that Mengele believed he was doing serious medical work ... He was exercising power. Major surgery was performed without anaesthetic. Once I witnessed a stomach operation — Mengele was removing pieces from the stomach, but without any anaesthesia. It was horrifying."
-Alex Dekel, a camp survivor
"I was given five injections. That evening I developed extremely high fever. I was trembling. My arms and my legs were swollen, huge size. Mengele and Dr. Konig and three other doctors came in the next morning. They looked at my fever chart, and Dr. Mengele said, laughingly, "Too bad, she is so young. She has only two weeks to live..."
-Eva Mozes Kor
The one good thing:
Slayer's metal classic Angel of Death is about him.
Also, Laurence Olivier's evil Nazi dentist character Szell in Marathon Man was inspired by Mengele.
"Ostensibly he would sit on the belly of his victim and, in this fashion, masturbating, come on the dying body"
This sodomite pedophile serial killer of children was actually a heroic dude at first. Fighting wars, being knighted, high class, whatever. And next thing you know, he's a godamn sick bastard who's killed 200 little kids.
His own servants, who'd witnessed and helped out in the murders:
"In order to practise his debauches with said children, boys and girls, against the use of nature, [he] first with licentious passion took his rod in his left or right hand, rubbed it so it became erect and sticking out, then placed it between the thighs or legs of the said boys and girls, not bothering with the natural female receptacle, and rub his said rod or virile member on the belly of the said boys and girls with much gratification, heat and libidinous excitement, until he emitted his sperm on their stomach..."
YUCK! As if that's not enough:
"Describing their master as sadistic and cruel, Henriet and Poitou told tales of how he delighted in bathing in the boys' blood and cutting off their heads himself so that he could wash his face and beard in the gore. They said he often had his servants stab a boy in the jugular so he could shower in the spurting blood. He sat on their chests and cut across part of their throats so they bled slowly to death. Others he hanged until they were nearly dead and then cut their throats. Still others had all their limbs cut off, or were ripped open so he could see their hearts and entrails. After death, all the bodies and their clothes were burned in the castle's great kitchen furnaces. The servants spoke of obscene torture and blood-splattered walls in each of his castles."
I bet you wish you never read that.
The only good thing:
Gilles was totally fucked up, but he did fight alongside Joan of Arc.
He also inspired Charles Perrault's classic story Bluebeard.
"A dark haired beauty of tender years
Is touched by evil and kindles fears
A malignant force runs through her veins
A soulless shell as blood she rains
Fair servant girls she does enslave
Tortured and bleed in ways depraved"
Liz Bathory, or as they called her, the blood countess, is known for killing over 650 servant girls and bathing in their blood for "eternal youth." Hadn't she ever heard of botox or cold cream? Even before she started killing, Liz would often beat her girls to the brink of death for no reason at all. To quote historians,
"The unhappy girls who were lured to the castle, under the plea that they were to be taken into service there, were locked up in a cellar. Here they were beaten till their bodies were swollen. Elizabeth not infrequently tortured the victims herself; often she changed their clothes which dripped with blood, and then renewed her cruelties. The swollen bodies were then cut up with razors. Occasionally she had the girls burned, and then cut up, but the great majority of them were beaten to death. Many accounts say that she was psychotic, and that her mental illness grew worse with age. Many details came out during legal hearings."
"Everitt adds that sometimes she would sew a servant girls mouth shut, force her to eat strips of her own flesh, or burn her genitals, while Wagener indicates that she would stick needles into those who sat with her in a carriage, especially if they were of her own sex. He also advanced another legend: "When she was ill, and could not indulge her cruelty, she bit a person who came near her sick bed as though she were a wild beast. This was, in fact, trial testimony, albeit gained via torture."
What a sadistic bitch. She wasn't even hanged for all that, just confined to a room in the towers with a little slit open so she could be given food.
I think that quote speaks for itself. Charlie was a crazy freak who ordered his cronie hippie slaves to murder rich people in Beverly Hills. But they weren't human to him, they were just "pigs." Charlie was rejected by his own mother at a young age and was a petty criminal all his life. He didn't even murder people himself, he had to get his brainwashed slaves to do it.
Dirty goddamn hippie. The thing that disturbs me most was that Sharon Tate was pregnant when she was murdered. Instead of hearing her desperate pleas of mercy for her unborn child, Manson's family members just spat at her and said "Look, I have no mercy for you bitch."
He turned this:
That's not the actual crime scene photo, but it looks just like the real one. I figure if I posted the real crime scene photo people would get offended, so just google it for yourself if you have the stomach for it.
The only good thing:
Vincent Bugliosi chronicled the Manson murders in his classic true crime crime novel Helter Skelter.
"I will not see the destruction of the Christian converts who are loyal to me, and to my last breath I will fight for the Orthodox faith."
Ivan Grozny, or as we all call him, the Terrible, blew up people with explosives, impaled people and fried them. He had been poisoned with mercury and went into severe fits of rage and was extremely paranoid. He ruled with absolute power and took away all the peasant's rights and turned them into serfs which were little more than slaves that couldn't leave their masters land.
He went on a reign of terror and killed all whom he thought opposed him. He murdered boyars, and encouraged his army to rape, loot and plunder all of Russia. Ivan accidentally even killed his own son during one of his bitch fits.
The only good thing:
Ivan's killing of his son inspired this amazing classic painting by Ilya Repin.
It's probably the greatest painting ever made. Look at the intense emotion conveyed, the horrified look in Ivan's eyes.
Evil, despised bastards from hell.
By the way:
STOP COMPLAINING TO ME THAT VLAD THE IMPALER WAS NOT EVIL. Go pick up a history book, read a biography, go to fucking wikipedia and gtfo my ass.